Why Do Narcissists and Psychopaths Think They’re Saints? A Couples Therapist’s Deep Dive Into the Dark Tetrad
Wednesday, August 21, 2024.
As a couples therapist, I’ve seen my fair share of relationship drama, but there’s something uniquely perplexing about the folks who exhibit traits like narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and sadism.
What’s even more fascinating (and troubling) is that many of these folks genuinely believe they’re morally superior to others—even when their actions scream otherwise.
Let’s unpack this paradox by exploring the latest research in psychology and neuroscience, diving deep into the mind of the Dark Tetrad, and asking some tough questions about what makes these personalities tick.
The Dark Tetrad: The Four Horsemen of Antagonism
Before we get too far ahead, let’s clarify what we’re dealing with here. The Dark Tetrad is a collection of four personality traits that share a common thread: a blatant disregard for others’ well-being. These traits are:
Narcissism: Marked by an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration.
Machiavellianism: Characterized by manipulativeness, strategic thinking, and a cynical view of human nature.
Psychopathy: Defined by a lack of empathy, impulsivity, and antisocial behavior.
Sadism: Involves deriving pleasure from causing others’ suffering.
These traits often show up in various combinations in individuals, creating a cocktail of antagonism that can wreak havoc in relationships and beyond. What’s particularly intriguing (or terrifying, depending on your perspective) is that these individuals often view themselves as paragons of virtue.
The Moral Superiority Complex: A Deep-Seated Delusion
So, why do people with these dark traits see themselves as morally superior?
A recent study published in Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment sheds some light on this perplexing question.
The researchers surveyed 515 undergraduate students, assessing their levels of Dark Tetrad traits and their self-perceived moral character. The results? Even those with high levels of narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and sadism generally believed they were more moral than the average person.
This phenomenon is part of what psychologists call the “better-than-average effect”—the tendency for humans to view themselves as superior to others, particularly in socially desirable domains like morality.
But why would someone who lies, cheats, or enjoys others’ pain still think they’re a good person? The study suggests that this disconnect might be driven by two factors: an inflated view of one’s own morality and a particularly cynical view of others’ morality.
Narcissism and Machiavellianism: The Kings of Self-Deception
The study found that folks with high levels of narcissism and Machiavellianism were particularly prone to this better-than-average effect. Narcissists, with their grandiose self-image, naturally see themselves as morally superior.
They’re the heroes of their own stories, incapable of recognizing their flaws.
Meanwhile, Machiavellians, with their strategic manipulations, may justify their behavior as a necessary evil, seeing themselves as morally justified in their actions, even when they’re not.
What’s fascinating is how these traits interact with the brain.
Neuroscience has shown that humans high in narcissism and Machiavellianism often have an overactive default mode network (DMN), the brain region involved in self-referential thinking. This overactivity can lead to an exaggerated sense of self-importance and moral superiority, making it difficult for these individuals to see themselves objectively.
Psychopathy and Sadism: The Darker Side of the Spectrum
Interestingly, the study found that those with higher levels of psychopathy and sadism were slightly less likely to exhibit the better-than-average effect compared to their narcissistic and Machiavellian counterparts.
However, they still generally viewed themselves as morally superior. Psychopaths, who lack empathy and exhibit impulsive, antisocial behavior, may not see themselves as “bad” because they’re simply not wired to care about the impact of their actions on others.
Sadists, who take pleasure in others’ suffering, might rationalize their behavior as deserved or justified, further fueling their sense of moral superiority.
Neuroscience research supports these findings, showing that folks high in psychopathy often have reduced activity in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex—areas of the brain involved in empathy, emotional regulation, and moral decision-making.
This underactivity may contribute to their inability to see their actions as immoral, reinforcing their distorted self-perception.
The Role of Cynicism in Moral Superiority
One of the more surprising findings of the study was that folks with high levels of Dark Tetrad traits tended to have a particularly low opinion of others’ moral character.
They often viewed the average person as a mix of good and bad traits, which may have bolstered their own sense of moral superiority. If you see everyone else as morally compromised, it’s easier to believe you’re better than average—even if your actions suggest otherwise.
This cynicism might be a defense mechanism, a way for these folks to maintain their self-image despite engaging in morally questionable behaviors. By lowering the moral bar for others, they can continue to see themselves in a positive light, even when their actions are anything but virtuous.
The Implications for Relationships: When Your Partner Thinks They’re Always Right
As a couples therapist, I can’t help but think about the impact of these findings on relationships. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who consistently believes they’re morally superior, even when their behavior is clearly harmful.
This disconnect can make resolving conflicts nearly impossible or building a healthy, balanced relationship. When one partner is convinced they’re always right, there’s little room for compromise, empathy, or growth.
Understanding this moral superiority complex is crucial for those in relationships with humans high in Dark Tetrad traits. It’s not just that these folks are complex or antagonistic—they genuinely believe they’re in the right, even when they’re not.
This makes traditional conflict resolution strategies less effective and highlights the need for specialized therapeutic approaches that address these deep-seated delusions.
Moving Forward: Can We Change the Dark Tetrad?
So, what can be done?
The study’s authors suggest that interventions aimed at reducing the better-than-average effect could be a starting point.
By challenging these individuals’ inflated views of their own morality, we might be able to foster greater self-awareness and, ultimately, behavioral change.
This is no small task, given the deeply ingrained nature of these traits, but it’s a promising area for future research and therapeutic development.
As we continue to explore the complexities of the Dark Tetrad, it’s clear that understanding these traits and their impact on self-perception is key to addressing the challenges they pose in relationships and society at large.
While change may be difficult, it’s not impossible—and the more we know, the better equipped we’ll be to help those struggling with these dark traits.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Hart, W., Hall, B. T., Lambert, J. T., Cease, C. K., & Wahlers, D. E. (2024). Antagonistic but Holier Than Thou: Antagonistic People Think They Are (Way) Better-Than-Average on Moral Character. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment.
