Understanding the role of narcissism in scapegoating families

Monday, June 10, 2024. This is for LG.

Narcissism is the bedrock of scapegoating in toxic families. It can play out in intriguing and sometimes destructive ways.

Narcissism, characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy, can deeply influence family dynamics.

Scapegoating unfairly blames one family member for the problems within a family unit, often as a way to maintain a fragile balance or to deflect attention from deeper issues, and avoid narcissistic injuries.

The Narcissistic Parent

At the heart of most scapegoating family dynamics lies the figure of the narcissistic parent.

Renowned psychologist and author, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, describes narcissistic parents as those who view their children as extensions of themselves, seeking validation and admiration from them. This can lead to a skewed power dynamic within the family, with the narcissistic parent exerting control and manipulation to maintain their perceived superiority.

The Scapegoat Child

In such families, a scapegoat child may emerge. This child is often unfairly assigned blame for the family's problems, serving as a target for the narcissistic parent's frustrations and insecurities. Dr. Julie L. Hall, author of "The Narcissist in Your Life," explains that scapegoating can have devastating effects on the child, leading to feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem that can persist into adulthood.

Impact on Family Dynamics

The presence of narcissism and scapegoating can create a toxic environment within the family. Dr. Karyl McBride, author of "Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers," notes that siblings may be pitted against each other, with the scapegoat often feeling isolated and ostracized. This can lead to a cycle of dysfunction that is difficult to break without intervention.

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking the cycle of narcissism and scapegoating requires understanding and intervention. Dr. Craig Malkin, author of "Rethinking Narcissism," emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and seeking therapy to heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse. By addressing the underlying issues and fostering healthy communication, families can begin to heal and move towards a more balanced dynamic.

Final thoughts

In conclusion, narcissism and scapegoating can have profound effects on family dynamics, leading to dysfunction and emotional distress.

Understanding these dynamics and seeking help are essential steps toward breaking the cycle and fostering healthier relationships within the family unit. As Dr. Durvasula aptly puts it, "Healing begins when we recognize the patterns and make a conscious effort to change them."

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.