The Sneaky Link Epidemic: Is Lying Worse Than Physical or Emotional Cheating?

Monday, March 10, 2025.

Once upon a time—somewhere between the decline of arranged marriages and the rise of online dating—humans got really good at pretending to be faithful.

And then, somewhere around the launch of Snapchat and the collapse of attention spans, we stopped pretending quite as hard. Enter: the Sneaky Link.

If you’ve been lucky enough to avoid certain corners of the internet, “Sneaky Link” is the modern term for an affair without the guilt, a rendezvous without the responsibility, and a relationship without the consequences (until, of course, there are consequences).

In simpler terms, it’s what your ancestors would have called “an indiscretion” or “a little piece on the side,” except now it has a catchy name, a TikTok dance, and a playlist on Spotify.

The term itself first emerged in rap lyrics, appearing in underground music as far back as 2017.

It really hit the mainstream in 2021, when TikTok got hold of it and turned it into a full-blown cultural event.

The song Sneaky Link by HXLLYWOOD—an anthem glorifying the thrill of illicit romance—became the official soundtrack for a million “funny but not really” posts about secret lovers, late-night texts, and relationship loopholes.

And just like that,"sneaky link" became a meme, a lifestyle, and possibly a reason for the slow collapse of long-term commitment as we know it.

A Brief, Chaotic History of the Sneaky Link Meme

The internet has a special talent for turning questionable human behaviors into punchlines. The “sneaky link” meme is no exception. It started with humor—videos of people sneaking out at 2 AM to meet someone they “weren’t supposed to be seeing.” And then, as all resonant memes do, it evolved into something darker and more complicated.

By 2022, the phrase was everywhere. Twitter (or X, for those of us who still refuse to call it that) was full of posts like:

• “My sneaky link just told me goodnight at 8 PM. I fear I may be the sneaky link of a sneaky link.”

• “If your sneaky link gets you a Valentine’s Day gift, congratulations. You’re the main link now.”

• “Ladies, if he only texts you after 11 PM, you’re not dating. You’re an Uber with benefits.”

What started as a joke about casual flings turned into a larger conversation about modern relationships. Suddenly, people were asking:

🔹 Does emotional cheating count as a “sneaky link,” or does it have to be only physical?
🔹 If both people are single, but they’re hiding it, does that still count as sneaky?
🔹 Are we, as a society, just rebranding infidelity with fun internet slang?

The answer to that last question, of course, is yes.

So, Is Emotional Cheating Worse Than Physical Cheating?

Ah, the age-old question: What hurts more?

• Finding out your partner had a one-night stand with a stranger they’ll never see again?

• Or discovering they’ve been secretly texting their “work bestie” every day for six months, sending memes, venting about you, and occasionally throwing in a well-placed “you just get me” for good measure?

• Or boldly lying about either scenario.

Evolutionary psychology claims to actually answer this.

Their studies claim that women tend to be more distressed by emotional cheating, while men are more troubled by physical cheating (Buss et al., 1992). Evolutionary psychologists argue that this is hardwired into our survival instincts—women value emotional commitment because it historically meant stability, while men historically worried about paternity. But I find much of their research sloppy and self-serving.

But let’s set aside caveman logic for a second and focus on how modern humans experience betrayal.

💔 Physical cheating is a violation of exclusivity—the implicit (or explicit) agreement that your partner’s body is reserved for you. It’s a betrayal of action.

💔 Emotional cheating is a violation of intimacy—a slow, insidious shift in emotional investment. It’s a betrayal of connection.

Which one is worse? That depends entirely on what you think relationships are made of.

• If you believe sex is just sex, but deep conversations and inside jokes are sacred, then emotional cheating is going to hit harder.

• If you think loyalty is defined by physical exclusivity, then the sneaky link who crosses that line is the greater offense.

• If you believe relationships are built on trust, respect, and transparency, then the real betrayal is the secrecy itself. And the lying that logically follows.

And that’s why the sneaky link phenomenon is so inherently destabilizing to long term relationships—not because it’s about sex, or emotions, or even cheating, necessarily, but because it thrives in secrecy.

Why Did Sneaky Links Go Viral?

There’s a reason this term exploded on the internet. Sneaky links are a perfect storm of cultural shifts, technological advancements, and the collective fear of missing out.

📱 Social Media Normalized “Situationships”

• In a world where “defining the relationship” is considered too much pressure, sneaky links are the ultimate non-commitment commitment—intimacy without accountability.

🚪 Hookup Culture Met Digital Convenience

• Sneaky links thrive on the accessibility of modern cheating—Snapchat DMs that disappear, private Instagram accounts, and dating apps where a “deleted” profile is really just a reactivated one away.

😂 Meme Culture Made Infidelity Funny

• If you can turn morally questionable behavior into a joke, you make it easier to justify. Sneaky link memes made secrecy seem normal, even aspirational.

And here’s the double dose of irony: A lot of people in relationships started using “sneaky link” ironically—until it wasn’t ironic anymore.

Final Thought: Is This Just Rebranded Infidelity?

At the end of the day, the sneaky link trend forces us to confront the uncomfortable reality of modern relationships:

• As Esther Perel endlessly reminds us we crave novelty, but we also crave stability.

• We want intimacy, but we don’t always want the accountability that comes with it.

• We joke about sneaky links because it’s easier than admitting that relationships are messy, boundaries are blurry, and trust is fragile.

Is emotional cheating worse than physical cheating? That depends on who you ask. But one thing is clear:

If your partner is hiding a connection from you, whether it’s physical or emotional, the real betrayal isn’t just what they’re doing.

It’s the fact that they don’t want you to know, and are able to lie to you about it.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Buss, D. M., Larsen, R. J., Westen, D., & Semmelroth, J. (1992). Sex differences in jealousy: Evolution, physiology, and psychology. Psychological Science, 3(4), 251–255. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1992.tb00038.x

Fisher, H. (2016). Anatomy of love: A natural history of mating, marriage, and why we stray. W. W. Norton & Company.

Lammers, J., Stapel, D. A., & Galinsky, A. D. (2011). Power increases infidelity among men and women. Psychological Science, 22(9), 1191–1197. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797611416252

Selterman, D., Garcia, J. R., & Tsapelas, I. (2019). Motivations for infidelity in heterosexual dating couples. Journal of Sex Research, 56(4-5), 462–473. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2018.1532480