Marriage Won’t Keep You on Cloud Nine—At Least Not Forever

Thursday, March 13, 2025.

If you’ve ever suspected that the euphoric glow of “I do” fades faster than the wedding cake gets freezer burn, you’re not wrong.

Research suggests that marriage delivers a noticeable happiness boost—but only for about two years.

After that, couples tend to return to their pre-marital baseline, meaning that whatever level of existential dread or mild optimism you had before tying the knot is more or less where you'll land afterward (Lucas & Clark, 2006).

This might sound like a cosmic joke, but psychologists call it the hedonic treadmill—the idea that humans adapt to positive and negative changes and eventually return to a stable level of happiness (Brickman & Campbell, 1971).

This means that while marriage might feel like a life upgrade at first, your brain is busy adjusting and whispering, “Okay, what’s next?”

But before you start composing a strongly worded email to your wedding officiant, consider this: the happiness decline post-marriage is not universal.

Some research suggests that marriage does offer long-term benefits—just not in the way Hollywood rom-coms would have you believe.

The Long-Term Benefits: More Than Just Happiness

First, marriage may not keep you perpetually elated, but it does increase life satisfaction, particularly during stressful periods (Diener et al., 2000).

A meta-analysis of well-being studies found that married people tend to have a slightly higher baseline of life satisfaction compared to single people, even if they’re not constantly radiating joy (Helliwell & Putnam, 2004).

Essentially, marriage functions less like a happiness pill and more like a well-padded emotional shock absorber.

Another factor: marriage and health outcomes.

Married folks tend to have better physical health, lower stress levels, and even a longer life expectancy than their unmarried counterparts (Waite & Gallagher, 2000). One study found that marriage can reduce cortisol levels, suggesting that long-term partnerships may help regulate stress responses (Kiecolt-Glaser & Newton, 2001). In other words, your spouse might not be your ticket to eternal bliss, but they might be keeping your blood pressure in check.

Who Stays Happy in Marriage?

Now, if marriage were purely an emotional rollercoaster back to baseline, wouldn’t we all just file for divorce after two years? The answer is personality matters—a lot.

• Attachment styles play somewhat of a role in whether marriage sustains happiness over time. Securely attached people tend to experience a much slower happiness decline than those with Anxious or Avoidant attachment styles (Finkel et al., 2014).

• Personality traits like neuroticism also predict a steeper decline in marital satisfaction (Headey, 2010). If you were catastrophizing a lost sock before marriage, chances are you won’t mellow out when your spouse starts forgetting anniversaries.

• Growth-oriented couples tend to maintain happiness longer because they actively work on emotional intimacy and shared meaning (Aron et al., 2000). The couples who thrive don’t just expect marriage to sustain their happiness—they build a marriage that evolves with them.

The Real Takeaway: Happiness Is an Active Process

So what’s the real lesson here?

• Marriage isn’t a “happiness guarantee” the way the wedding industry would like you to believe. It’s more like a gym membership for your emotional well-being—it has the potential to make life better, but only if you show up and do the work.

• The pairs who remain satisfied aren’t just coasting on the fumes of their honeymoon phase—they’re actively adapting, deepening intimacy, and creating meaning in their partnership. Love isn’t a one-time investment; it’s a high-maintenance asset that requires ongoing deposits of attention, playfulness, and mutual respect.

If you’re looking for a permanent happiness boost, don’t expect marriage to do all the work.

Instead, focus on growing together—because, as the research suggests, the happiest marriages aren’t the ones that start strong; they’re the ones that keep evolving.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273–284.

Brickman, P., & Campbell, D. T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M. H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation-level theory: A symposium (pp. 287–302). Academic Press.

Diener, E., Gohm, C. L., Suh, E. M., & Oishi, S. (2000). Similarity of the relations between marital status and subjective well-being across cultures. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 31(4), 419–436.

Finkel, E. J., Simpson, J. A., & Eastwick, P. W. (2014). The psychology of close relationships: Fourteen core principles. Annual Review of Psychology, 65, 587–614.

Headey, B. (2010). The set-point theory of well-being: Negative results and consequent revisions. Social Indicators Research, 85(3), 389–403.

Helliwell, J. F., & Putnam, R. D. (2004). The social context of well-being. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 359(1449), 1435–1446.

Kiecolt-Glaser, J. K., & Newton, T. L. (2001). Marriage and health: His and hers. Psychological Bulletin, 127(4), 472–503.

Lucas, R. E., & Clark, A. E. (2006). Do people really adapt to marriage? Journal of Happiness Studies, 7(4), 405–426.

Waite, L. J., & Gallagher, M. (2000). The case for marriage: Why married people are happier, healthier, and better off financially. Doubleday.