Family Therapy in the Age of Social Media: Navigating the Digital Abyss Without Losing Your Soul

Saturday, March 8, 2025.

Welcome to the algorithmic family.

Once upon a time, families fought about curfews and who got the last slice of pizza. Now, they fight about excessive screen time, doomscrolling, and why Dad keeps posting Minion memes on Facebook.

Welcome to the 21st century, where social media has rewritten the rules of human interaction, including the delicate ecosystem of family life.

As a couples therapist, I watch social media function as both a relationship catalyst and a nuclear device. What once passed for passive-aggressive holiday dinners has been refined into a digital art form—subtweets, vaguebooking, and emoji-laden guilt trips.

But before we all resign ourselves to dystopian family group chats, let's examine three ways social media is reshaping family therapy and how we might, against all odds, still survive it.

Social Media’s Impact on Family Relationships: The Joys of Digital Dysfunction

Social media gives us the illusion of connection while simultaneously occasionally making us feel more disconnected than ever.

Research tells us that excessive social media use correlates with decreased marital satisfaction and increased jealousy (Clayton et al., 2013).

In other words, that old “just a friend” excuse doesn’t hold up when Instagram reveals that James has liked every bikini picture his coworker has posted since 2017.

Parents report feeling increasingly sidelined by their children’s digital lives, a phenomenon known as "technoference" (McDaniel & Coyne, 2016). Once upon a time, family dinners were about meaningful conversation—or at least pretending to listen while chewing.

Now, parents compete with TikTok dances, Snapchat streaks, and whatever new existential crisis Twitter is having that day.

The takeaway?

If you’re wondering why your spouse is distant, your teenager moody, or your toddler already proficient at doomscrolling, it may be time to call a family meeting—and, dare I say, impose a screen-time limit. Revolutionary, I know.

Integrating Social Media into Therapy: When TikTok Diagnoses Replace Actual Therapy

There was a time when people came to therapy after heartfelt realizations. Now, they come because TikTok told them they have ADHD, borderline personality disorder, or a rare disorder that only affects Victorian-era chimney sweeps.

While the democratization of mental health awareness is a net positive, social media’s "instant expert" culture is often unhelpful at best, damaging at worst (Wildflower, 2023).

Therapists increasingly find themselves fact-checking social media psychology trends.

Attachment styles, gaslighting, and trauma responses have all been stripped of nuance and repackaged into bite-sized viral content.

While it's lovely that people are more open to therapy, it would also be great if we didn't have to undo hours of Dr. TikTok’s unwise advice.

So how do we work with this?

Instead of dismissing social media’s influence outright, therapists can guide clients to distinguish quality mental health content from, say, a random influencer diagnosing trauma while selling moon water.

Encouraging media literacy (I prefer snobbery) and critical thinking may be the best defense against the rising tide of self-diagnosis.

Navigating Digital Boundaries in the Therapeutic Space: Therapists, Please Don’t Add Your Clients on Facebook

The internet has made the world both smaller and significantly more awkward.

Once upon a time, therapists only had to maintain professional boundaries in the real world. Now, a therapist’s entire digital footprint can be scrutinized by clients, and vice versa.

Therapists walk a fine line in the digital age.

Should they have social media at all? Should they accept friend requests from clients? (Answer: No, unless they want to be featured in an ethics case study.)

Should they run an Instagram where they post vague affirmations in a soothing pastel color palette? (Maybe.)

The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy advises strict digital boundaries, which is therapist-speak for "stay in your lane" (ResearchGate, 2023).

But it’s not just therapists who need boundaries—families do, too.

Ever been sucked into a three-hour argument on a family group chat about an offhand comment Aunt Carol made about vaccines?

Congratulations, you’ve experienced the erosion of boundaries firsthand.

Setting rules around social media use in relationships—such as no passive-aggressive posts, limiting doomscrolling before bed, and not using Facebook Messenger as a substitute for actual conversation—can help protect real-life relationships from digital decay.

Log Off and Touch Grass (Together)

Social media is neither savior nor villain—it’s just an accelerant.

It magnifies existing family dynamics, for better or worse. If your marriage is rocky, social media may expose the cracks.

If your family already struggles with communication, digital interactions will likely amplify misunderstandings.

But if your family can foster real connection offline, then social media is just another tool—not necessarily a threat.

So, gentle reader, perhaps the best piece of relationship advice in the age of social media is also the simplest:

Have a laugh, then close the app. Put down the phone. Have a conversation in real life. And for heaven’s sake, tell Dad to lay off Minion memes.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Clayton, R. B., Nagurney, A., & Smith, J. R. (2013). Cheating, breakup, and divorce: Is Facebook use to blame? Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 16(10), 717-720. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2012.0424

McDaniel, B. T., & Coyne, S. M. (2016). “Technoference”: The interference of technology in couple relationships and implications for women’s personal and relational well-being. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 5(1), 85. https://doi.org/10.1037/ppm0000065

Wildflower LLC. (2023). Lost in translation: A guide to navigating mental health content on social media. Retrieved from https://www.wildflowerllc.com/lost-in-translation-a-guide-to-navigating-mental-health-content-on-social-media/

ResearchGate. (2023). The power of a click: Impact of social media usage on family therapists. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/368317033_The_Power_of_a_Click_Impact_of_Social_Media_Usage_on_Family_Therapists