Emerging Trends in Neurodiverse Relationships on Social Media: A Curious Case of Connectivity, Algorithms, and the Human Condition

Saturday, March 8, 2025.

In the great digital petri dish of social media, neurodiverse relationships are evolving in ways both fascinating and only occasionally mildly dystopian.

It turns out, when you connect billions of people through glowing rectangles, strange and wonderful things happen. Some wonderous things are making a grand entrance.

Some of those things, miraculously, are even good. Others? A grand social experiment in real-time identity formation.

The Great Gathering of the Neurodivergent Tribes

Once upon a time, neurodivergent souls had to navigate the minefield of social interaction in person, where things like "eye contact" and "tone of voice" could make or break an entire relationship.

But now, thanks to the magic of the Internet, there exist sprawling digital landscapes where one can build meaningful relationships through memes, Discord servers, and long, heartfelt Twitter threads about executive dysfunction.

Dr. Devon Price, a social psychologist and author of Unmasking Autism (2022), has argued that the internet is responsible for "the largest mass coming-out of neurodivergent people in history." Where once neurodivergence was medicalized and diagnosed from above, it is now increasingly understood and claimed from within communities themselves.

TikTok, for example, has become the modern agora where neurodivergent humans find each other through algorithmically curated, eerily accurate content.

You like one post about ADHD hyperfixations, and suddenly your entire feed is a cascade of people describing your life experiences back to you in 90-second increments.

It’s almost like magic—except it’s just good data harvesting.

The Algorithm: Friend, Foe, or Chaotic Neutral?

It’s important to acknowledge that social media algorithms do not care about you, your identity, or your relationships.

They are cold, unfeeling gods programmed to maximize engagement, which means sometimes they amplify neurodiverse content in positive ways, and other times, they create something more akin to a 24-hour neurodivergent Hunger Games.

Dr. Sasha Costanza-Chock, a scholar in inclusive design, has pointed out that algorithmic curation can serve marginalized communities but also reinforces existing power imbalances. "The more visible a neurodivergent identity becomes online, the more marketable it is to advertisers, and the more pressure there is to fit into a certain mold of neurodivergence that is palatable, digestible, and profitable" (Costanza-Chock, 2020).

In short, once neurodiversity became a brand, it became a commodity.

On the positive side, this has led to the rise of platforms like Blossom, which explicitly cater to neurodiverse users seeking meaningful connection.

On the weirder side, the internet has birthed an entire genre of discourse around whether neurodivergence is a "trend."

Some argue that social media has enabled self-diagnosis to the point of parody, while others counter that it's simply raising awareness for something that was always there—just misunderstood and underdiagnosed.

Both of these things can be true at the same time, which is what makes it all so delightfully complicated.

The Strange Art of Online Relationship Navigation

If social interactions in the real world are a board game with unwritten rules, then social media is a version of that board game where the rules change depending on which platform you're on, who you’re talking to, and whether Mercury is in retrograde.

Neurodivergent partners, who often struggle with social cues, find themselves in an interesting paradox: online relationships are easier to start, but maintaining them can be just as fraught with miscommunication as in-person interactions.

What does it mean when someone likes your post but doesn’t reply to your message? Is ghosting just a function of ADHD forgetfulness? Is sending a ten-paragraph DM an act of emotional intimacy or a social faux pas?

Dr. Temple Grandin, a leading voice in autism research, has written extensively about the difficulties neurodivergent folks face in forming relationships. She argues that "the online world provides a crucial space for people who struggle with in-person social dynamics, but it also limits the development of skills that make real-world interactions easier" (Grandin, 2021).

In other words, the internet can be both a sanctuary and a trap.

The Identity Feedback Loop

There is also the question of self-perception.

Social media has a habit of reflecting back at you an optimized, sometimes distorted version of your own identity.

For neurodivergent souls, this can be empowering—offering words and frameworks for experiences that once felt unnameable. But it can also be limiting, shaping self-concept in ways that may or may not be helpful.

Dr. Nick Walker, an autistic scholar and author, has described the "pathologization of neurodivergence" as a historical mistake that social media is helping to correct. "But the danger," he warns, "is that we trade one rigid identity structure for another. Neurodiversity is a broad, complex spectrum, and online spaces can sometimes reduce it to bite-sized stereotypes" (Walker, 2014).

Does engaging with ADHD content reinforce ADHD behaviors?

Are autistic traits expressed differently online than in real life? And perhaps most importantly—if the algorithm decides you are a certain way, does that make it true?

It’s a digital-age riddle with no clear answer, but it sure is fun to think about.

So Where Do We Go From Here?

Social media has irreversibly changed the way neurodiverse folks form and maintain relationships.

It has created new pathways for connection, new ways to feel seen and understood, and new pitfalls to tumble into.

But like all great technological revolutions, it comes with both a dazzling promise and a stark warning: this tool can be used for good, but only if we understand what it is and how it shapes us.

Dr. Jonathan Mooney, an advocate for neurodiversity, has famously said, "The world wasn’t built for neurodivergent people, but the internet is the closest thing we have to a level playing field" (Mooney, 2019). This playing field, however, comes with referees we cannot see and rulebooks that change in real time.

In the meantime, neurodivergent in search of human connection will continue to build relationships in the strange, glowing ether of the internet—forming friendships through shared niche memes, sending long messages at inappropriate hours, and navigating the ever-shifting social norms of the digital age.

One thing’s for sure: the future of neurodiverse relationships will be many things, but boring isn’t one of them.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Costanza-Chock, S. (2020). Design justice: Community-led practices to build the worlds we need. MIT Press.

Grandin, T. (2021). The autistic brain: Thinking across the spectrum. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

Mooney, J. (2019). Normal sucks: How to live, learn, and thrive outside the lines. Henry Holt and Co.

Price, D. (2022). Unmasking autism: Discovering the new faces of neurodiversity. Harmony Books.

Walker, N. (2014). Neuroqueer heresies: Notes on the neurodiversity paradigm, autistic empowerment, and postnormal possibilities. Autonomous Press.