7 More things Narcissists do when they are alone (And 10 Things That Crush Their Ego)

Tuesday, June 18, 2024.

Being alone can be a challenging experience for many, but for narcissists, it’s particularly complex. Narcissistic folks thrive on attention, admiration, and validation from others – what’s commonly referred to as narcissistic supply.

Without this supply, they can feel empty and unfulfilled.

As a couples therapist, I've seen how these tendencies manifest, even in solitude.

Building on my previous post, Here are 7 more things narcissists often do when they are alone, followed by 10 things that can crush their ego.

1. Self-Admiration and Vanity

Narcissists love to admire themselves. When they’re alone, they often indulge in vanity by spending excessive time in front of mirrors or scrolling through their own photos on social media. This self-admiration is more than just vanity – it’s a psychological crutch that provides the validation they desperately seek. They might even post selfies or old photos to fish for compliments and likes, maintaining their sense of superiority.

2. Fantasizing About Success and Power

When left to their own devices, narcissists often engage in elaborate fantasies about their future success, power, and the admiration they believe they will receive. These fantasies can be grandiose, involving visions of fame, wealth, or unparalleled influence. Such daydreams help to boost their fragile self-esteem and create a world where they are the ultimate victor.

3. Replaying Interactions

Narcissists have a tendency to replay past interactions in their minds, often reinterpreting events to reinforce their perceived superiority. They might fixate on a compliment or reframe a neutral comment as praise. This selective memory helps them maintain their inflated self-image and shields them from any hint of criticism or failure.

4. Seeking New Sources of Narcissistic Supply

The need for constant admiration means narcissists are always on the lookout for new sources of narcissistic supply. When alone, they might spend hours on dating apps, social media, or other platforms where they can find new admirers. These interactions are typically shallow and short-lived, but they provide the temporary boost of validation the narcissist craves.

5. Engaging in Self-Destructive Behaviors

Interestingly, some narcissists engage in self-destructive behaviors when they are alone. This can include substance abuse, gambling, or other risky activities. These behaviors might seem contradictory, but they often stem from deep-seated insecurities and a need to escape their feelings of emptiness and inadequacy.

6. Obsessing Over Criticism

Despite their outward confidence, narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism. When they’re alone, they might obsess over any negative feedback or perceived slights. This can lead to ruminating thoughts, anger, and even plans for revenge. The fixation on criticism highlights their underlying vulnerability and fragile self-esteem.

7. Planning Manipulative Tactics

Narcissists often use their alone time to plan how they can manipulate and control others to maintain their dominance. They might devise strategies to charm, deceive, or coerce those around them. This planning is driven by their need to ensure a steady supply of admiration and to assert their superiority in relationships.

10 Things That Crush the Narcissist’s Ego

Narcissists, despite their apparent confidence, have fragile egos. Certain actions and behaviors can significantly impact their sense of self-worth and control. Here are ten things that can crush a narcissist’s ego:

1. Your Profound and Unmitigated Indifference

Narcissists thrive on attention; your indifference is like a dagger to their ego. Ignoring their attempts to garner attention can leave them feeling insignificant and powerless.

2. Giving Them Negative or Critical Feedback

Providing negative feedback threatens their inflated self-image. Narcissists are hypersensitive to criticism, and any form of negative feedback can deeply wound their ego.

3. Being Outshined by Another’s Success

When someone else’s success overshadows theirs, narcissists feel intensely threatened. They crave admiration and superiority, so being outshined is a severe blow to their self-esteem.

4. Lack of Praise for Minor Accomplishments

Narcissists expect praise for even the smallest achievements. When they don’t receive the admiration they believe they deserve, they feel unappreciated and upset.

5. Confronting Their Insecurities

Bringing up a narcissist’s insecurities directly challenges their carefully constructed self-image. This confrontation can cause significant distress and defensive reactions.

6. Not Meeting Their Ever-Changing Expectations

Narcissists often have unrealistic and ever-changing expectations of others. When you fail to meet these expectations, it frustrates them and damages their perception of control.

7. When They Can’t Control or Manipulate You

A narcissist’s sense of power hinges on their ability to control and manipulate others. If they cannot exert this control, it shatters their ego.

8. Challenging Their Authority and Proving Them Wrong

Narcissists see themselves as inherently superior and authoritative. Challenging their authority and proving them wrong can be devastating to their self-image.

9. Losing Special Privileges

Narcissists often believe they deserve special treatment. Losing privileges or being treated like everyone else undermines their sense of entitlement and superiority.

10. Experiencing Rejection or Abandonment

Rejection and abandonment are particularly crushing for narcissists, as they thrive on external validation. Such experiences can leave them feeling profoundly unworthy and insignificant.

Final thoughts

Narcissists face unique challenges when they are alone, primarily due to their relentless and relentless need for external validation.

Whether they are indulging in self-admiration, fantasizing about success, or plotting their next move, these behaviors underscore the deep-seated insecurities that drive them.

Additionally, understanding the factors that can crush a narcissist’s ego provides valuable insights into their vulnerabilities. Have you observed similar behaviors in someone you know? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.