Zombieing: When Ghosts Return to Haunt Your Dating Life
Friday, January 31, 2025.
Remember that person who ghosted you six months ago?
The one who vanished into thin air, leaving your texts on read and your dignity in the gutter?
Well, guess what? They're back.
Just when you finally moved on, they emerge from the digital graveyard with a casual "Hey, stranger." Congratulations! You’ve just been zombied.
What Is Zombieing?
Zombieing is when someone who previously ghosted you—vanished without a trace—suddenly reappears in your life, acting like they didn’t just evaporate into the abyss. Like an extra from The Walking Dead, they lurch back into your inbox, arms metaphorically outstretched, moaning for attention.
Unlike ghosting, where at least there’s a clear and definitive (albeit rude) disappearance, zombieing is the ultimate in emotional necromancy. These undead daters return with no explanation, no apology—just a “sup?” as if they never buried your hopes and dreams six feet under.
Why Do Some Folks Zombie?
Zombieing is powered by a heady mix of boredom, loneliness, and the unshakable confidence of someone who has never been held accountable for their actions. Here are some of the most common reasons a ghost might rise from the dead:
They Got Bored – Your ex-zombie ran out of new dating app matches and is now rifling through their old playbook like a washed-up rockstar playing their greatest hits.
They Saw You Thriving – Nothing triggers an ex’s reanimation quite like seeing you happy. Post a thirst trap? Suddenly, your phone lights up like Frankenstein’s lab.
They Genuinely Forgot They Ghosted You – Some zombies are so emotionally clueless they think they simply "lost touch."
Their Situationship Collapsed – Their rebound ghosted them, and now they’re hoping to lurch back into your good graces.
The Zombie Playbook
These reanimated daters have a few signature moves when they return. Behold, the greatest hits of zombieing:
The "Hey, Stranger" Text – The undead’s favorite opener, as if you’ve been living under a rock instead of deliberately ignoring their absence.
The Casual Meme Reply – No better way to test the waters than by responding to your Instagram story with a crying-laughing emoji.
The Gaslighting Approach – "I didn’t ghost you! I was just going through some stuff." Oh, so you were "going through some stuff" for four months without a single text? Right.
The Holiday Resurrection – Zombies love reappearing around birthdays, Christmas, and—ironically—Halloween. Nothing says holiday spirit like emotional inconsistency.
How to Deal With a Zombie
So, what should you do when your ghost comes crawling back from the dead?
Don’t Engage With the Undead
If they ghosted you once, they’ll likely do it again. Save yourself the heartache and let them rot in the graveyard of your blocked contacts list.
Call Them Out
If you’re feeling particularly spicy, hit them with a “Wow, you just rose from the dead like a budget horror movie sequel.” Watch them squirm.
Have Fun With It
Why not turn the tables? Respond with cryptic, horror-movie-style messages:
"We thought you were gone forever..."
"You should have stayed buried."
"The spirits foretold your return."
Move On (Again)
At the end of the day, zombies are just ghosts who got bored. Don't give them the satisfaction of resurrecting your interest.
Final Thoughts: Keep Your Garlic and Holy Water Handy
Zombieing is just another modern dating horror show, proving that some people simply can’t let a good thing (or a bad thing) stay dead. If your ghost comes back knocking, remember: you’re under no obligation to let the undead back into your life.
And if all else fails, just send them a coffin emoji and let them take the hint.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.