The Science of Staying Single: Are Lifelong Singles Secretly Winning at Life?
Friday, January 31, 2025.
For most of human history, staying single for life was about as common as a unicorn sighting.
Sure, maybe a lone monk here or an eccentric aunt there, but generally, society expected you to find a mate, reproduce, and keep our human experiment chugging along.
Fast-forward to today, and lifelong singlehood isn’t just a niche lifestyle—it’s a full-blown societal trend.
But this raises some awkward questions.
If enough people decide that relationships are more hassle than they’re worth, will humanity eventually go extinct?
And, more importantly, are lifelong singles actually happier than the poor souls trudging through the quiet desperation of married life?
Let’s dig into the research and find out whether lifelong singlehood is the secret to happiness—or the first sign of civilization’s demise.
The Single Revolution: Why Fewer People Are Getting Hitched
Marriage rates are dropping worldwide, and it’s not just because of commitment-phobic millennials.
According to the Pew Research Center (2021), one in four American adults has never been married, and that number is only rising. Meanwhile, over in Japan, a whopping 39% of people in their 20s and 30s are ghosting the entire concept of romance (Japan Times, 2022).
Why? A few reasons:
Marriage is Expensive. Ever tried financing a wedding when you can barely afford rent?
Many First-World Economies Are Flaming Dumpster Fires. Kids used to be an economic asset (free labor on the farm!). Now they’re luxury items, like Teslas, except they never stop screaming.
Young Folks are Prioritizing Autonomy. Being single means no in-laws, no shared bank accounts, and no arguing over who left the wet towel on the bed.
Did Dating Apps Ruin Everything? The paradox of choice has left everyone overwhelmed, exhausted, and suspicious that someone hotter is just a swipe away.
Are Lifelong Singles Happier? Science Says... Probably
Cue the violins, because we’ve all heard the tragic stereotype: the lonely single person, eating dinner alone, weeping into their microwave meal.
Except… research suggests that’s complete nonsense.
Psychologist Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., has spent years debunking the myth that single people are miserable. In fact, single people often have richer social lives, deeper friendships, and greater personal growth than married folks (DePaulo, 2017).
Happiness & Life Satisfaction
A 2016 study published in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that lifelong singles who embrace their status report being just as happy as their married peers—sometimes even happier.
Turns out, there’s something deeply satisfying about not having to compromise on what to watch on Netflix every night.
Loneliness: The Marriage vs. Single Paradox
Surprise!
Single people actually tend to have broader, more diverse social networks than married people (Kislev, 2019).
Why? Because when you’re married, there’s a strong tendency to go full “No New Friends” mode and make your spouse your entire social universe.
Singles, on the other hand, tend to nurture friendships, community ties, and chosen families.
That said, old age can be tricky. Married people theoretically have built-in companionship, while singles need to be more proactive about creating their own support systems.
But let’s not forget—divorce rates are soaring among seniors. Some married folks are just as alone as their single counterparts, except now they have to split their retirement savings.
Health & Finances: Do Singles Die Alone and Broke?
Health Outcomes: The Marriage Myth
The classic argument: Married people live longer and healthier lives. The reality? This is only true if the marriage is good (Health Psychology, 2017).
Bad marriages, on the other hand, are a fast track to chronic stress, depression, and wondering whether arsenic is traceable in tea.
Meanwhile, single people who stay socially active and prioritize their health actually do just fine, and in some cases, outlive their unhappily married peers.
Plus, they’re less likely to engage in stress-related overeating or binge-drinking just to cope with their relationship (Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2019).
Money Talks: The Financial Pros & Cons
This one’s a mixed bag.
Marriage does provide financial perks (shared expenses, tax benefits, one rent instead of two).
But it also comes with financial risks—ever heard of divorce? It’s basically an emotional and financial crime scene. That’s been my direct experience.
Lifelong singles have to be more intentional about saving for retirement and healthcare costs, but they also don’t have to worry about a spouse tanking their credit score or spending half their income on artisanal throw pillows.
But What About the Species? Are Singles Quietly Ushering in Human Extinction?
If singlehood keeps trending up, will we eventually run out of humans? Probably not, but some countries are truly freaking out about it.
South Korea’s birth rate is so low that the government is offering financial incentives to encourage dating and procreation. (It’s not working.)
Japan is already experiencing “population shrinkage,” with entire towns vanishing because people aren’t reproducing fast enough.
In the U.S., birth rates are at historic lows. Experts blame student debt, economic instability, and vibes.
Does this mean lifelong singles are dooming humanity?
Perhaps not yet.
People are still having kids—just later in life, fewer of them, and often outside of traditional marriage. Plus, science is already working on artificial wombs, designer babies, and other terrifying yet fascinating solutions.
So, worst case scenario, we let the robots handle reproduction while we live our best ever single lives!
Final Verdict: Is Lifelong Singlehood the Ultimate Life Hack?
If you love autonomy, deep friendships, personal growth, and never having to pretend you care about your spouse’s fantasy football league—then yes, lifelong singlehood might just be a winning strategy.
Marriage isn’t for everyone. And that’s okay.
The real key to happiness isn’t your relationship status—it’s building a life full of meaning, connection, and purpose, however that looks out for you!
As for the fate of the species?
Well, worst case scenario, the last humans alive can sit around and reminisce about how not getting married might have been too good of an idea.
But so what? Once you die the world ends anyway, doesn’t it?
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
References
DePaulo, B. (2017). Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. St. Martin’s Griffin.
Kislev, E. (2019). Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living. University of California Press.
Pew Research Center. (2021). The State of Marriage and Singlehood in the U.S. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org
The Japan Times. (2022). Japan’s Relationship Crisis: Young People Losing Interest in Romance. Retrieved from https://www.japantimes.co.jp
Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. (2016). Embracing Singlehood: Psychological Well-being and Life Satisfaction Among Singles. 33(5), 643-667.
Health Psychology. (2017). Longevity and Social Engagement: Comparing Singles and Married Individuals. 36(4), 444-453.
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. (2019). Personal Growth in Singlehood vs. Marriage: A Longitudinal Study. 45(9), 1322-1335.