Why Do Some Men Hate Independent Women?

Sep 12

Written By Daniel Dashnaw

Thursday, September 12, 2024.

In contemporary society, the concept of the independent woman has become a lightning rod in gender politics.

While many celebrate the progress women have made in attaining autonomy and success, a notable faction of men expresses resentment, even hostility, toward this empowerment.

Why do some men hate independent women?

The answer lies in a complex interplay of Cultural Narcissism, gender politics, and movements such as second-wave feminism and MAGA (Make America Great Again).

This post will examine why independence in women is often met with disdain, using social science research to understand these attitudes while also exploring how cultural dynamics fuel this backlash.

The Rise of Independent Women

The term "independent woman" is often associated with financial independence, personal autonomy, and the ability to make decisions without relying on a male counterpart. Social science research supports the notion that women’s autonomy has been on the rise over the past half century.

According to a Pew Research Center study, women now significantly outnumber men in college enrollment, and their earning power has significantly increased vastly over the past decades (Pew Research Center, 2019). These shifts in gender dynamics directly threaten traditional roles, often stirring backlash.

Gender Role Threat and Male Backlash

One of the leading explanations for why some men hate independent women is rooted in what psychologists refer to as gender role threat.

Studies show that men who feel their masculine role is threatened often react negatively to women who embody independence.

A study by Willer et al. (2013) found that when men's masculinity is questioned, they compensate by expressing more conservative attitudes toward gender roles and displaying aggressive behaviors. This psychological mechanism explains why some men feel threatened by independent women, viewing their autonomy as a challenge to traditional male dominance.

Cultural Narcissism: A Broader Social Backdrop

The hostility toward independent women can also be linked to Cultural Narcissism, a term describing a societal trend where self-centeredness, entitlement, and a lack of empathy become normative.

According to Twenge and Campbell (2009), Cultural Narcissism has been on the rise in America since the 1980s. This has fostered an environment where individuals, particularly men, are increasingly sensitive to perceived challenges to their authority or identity.

Independent women—who refuse to be submissive or reliant on men—are often perceived as an affront to the cultural norms that uphold male superiority.

In this framework, women’s autonomy is seen as an obstacle to male entitlement, especially in a society that valorizes narcissistic traits such as control and dominance.

Since the early 70’s, we’ve been in a narcissistic tug of war which has only been exacerbated by Limbic Capitalism’s use of social media and technology.

The Erosion of Male Privilege

The economic decline of poorly educated white men also reveals deeper structural inequalities within the U.S. economy.

Historically, this demographic benefited from a mid-20th century economic boom, where industries such as manufacturing, construction, and mining provided stable, well-paying jobs without the need for higher education.

However, as these industries faced offshoring, technological automation, and a shift toward a service-based economy, the demand for physical labor diminished. Jobs that once sustained a middle-class lifestyle for this group were replaced by low-wage, precarious service positions that lacked the benefits and security of earlier employment.

As a result, this demographic saw a notable drop in median wages and employment rates, further deepening economic insecurity.

Sociologist Charles Murray explored this shift in his book Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960–2010, where he detailed the growing class divide among white Americans, especially between those with and without college degrees.

He noted that the economic stagnation of the poorly educated white man was not merely a reflection of individual choices but was rooted in systemic changes in the labor market and the decline of social institutions such as marriage, community engagement, and religious participation, which had historically provided a sense of stability and identity.

This economic decline has also had profound political ramifications. As poorly educated white men felt increasingly alienated from the political establishment, they became a driving force behind populist movements, particularly the rise of Donald Trump and the broader MAGA (Make America Great Again) agenda.

Trump’s rhetoric, which targeted global elites, trade deals, and immigration, resonated deeply with this group, who viewed these factors as direct contributors to their economic decline. The backlash was not only economic but also cultural, as poorly educated white men felt that their values and way of life were being displaced by a more diverse, globalized society. Which, of course it was.

This demographic’s economic hardship and resulting social and political grievances have drawn attention to the broader issue of economic inequality in the U.S.

While poorly educated white men have been uniquely affected by these changes, their decline highlights the fragility of economic security in a rapidly changing labor market, raising questions about the future of work, education, and social safety nets for all Americans.

The Role of MAGA and Gender Politics

The rise of political movements such as MAGA (Make America Great Again) has amplified this backlash against independent women.

Underpinned by a desire to return to "traditional values," the MAGA movement has frequently idealized the 1950s nuclear family model, where women were expected to be homemakers and subordinate to their husbands.

Sociologist Arlie Hochschild (2016) coined the term "emotional patriarchy" to describe how right-wing populist movements appeal to men who feel emasculated by societal changes.

These men often express resentment toward women who challenge their traditional roles, seeing female independence as symbolic of everything wrong with contemporary society. In the MAGA worldview, independent women are often vilified as feminists who are “ruining” the fabric of America.

How Gender Politics and MAGA Fuel Resentment

MAGA's messaging tends to resonate with men who experience status loss—the perception that they are losing social and economic power to women and minorities. Frankly, otherwise deep thinkers abandon all curiosity as to whether this perception has any basis.

As their status loss has grown, dim-witted and unimaginative men have projected their frustrations onto women, particularly those who refuse to adhere to traditional gender norms. Independent women, in this case, become scapegoats for the erosion of male dominance. However, this erosion, due largely to globalization and Limbic Capitalism has largely gone unseen.

Gender politics, therefore, plays a central role in this backlash.

Feminist scholars argue that patriarchal structures resist female autonomy because it threatens male privilege. I’ve always wondered what such 'privilege’ reliably remains.

According to Connell and Pearse (2014), gender inequality is deeply embedded in the social fabric, and as women continue to thrive intellectually as well as economically, the backlash from men who are marginalized by mediocre engagement with these systems intensifies. Men need to stop kvetching and up their game, and pursue higher education in fields dominated by women… like mental health.

Conclusion: Moving Toward Equality

Understanding why some men hate independent women requires examining a confluence of psychological, cultural, and political forces. Gender role threat, Cultural Narcissism, and movements like second-wave feminism and MAGA all contributed to this phenomenon.

As society continues to evolve, it is crucial to address these underlying issues, fostering dialogue and promoting a true and abiding gender equality. That means we have to defeat the divisive forces of Cultural Narcissism.

While the hostility toward independent women persists in certain sectors, the progress women have made in asserting their autonomy is undeniable. As social norms continue to shift, it is imperative to challenge the backlash, creating spaces for both men and women to thrive equally in society.

For too many self-appointed pro-social narcissists of both genders, life is a playground populated with taunts, name-calling, and tired, boring idealogical farces. Surely with all this education we can do better than that.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Connell, R. W., & Pearse, R. (2014). Gender: In World Perspective (3rd ed.). Polity Press.

Hochschild, A. R. (2016). Strangers in Their Own Land: Anger and Mourning on the American Right. The New Press.

Pew Research Center. (2019). The narrowing, but persistent, gender gap in pay. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org

Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Free Press.

Willer, R., Rogalin, C. L., Conlon, B., & Wojnowicz, M. T. (2013). Overdoing Gender: A Test of the Masculine Overcompensation Thesis. American Journal of Sociology, 118(4), 980-1022.

Case, A., & Deaton, A. (2020). Deaths of Despair and the Future of Capitalism. Princeton University Press.

Murray, C. (2012). Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960-2010. Crown Forum.

Pew Research Center. (2019). The narrowing, but persistent, gender gap in pay. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org.