What Does Research Say About the "Seven-Year Itch"?

Tuesday, February 18, 2025.

Human relationships, like an old couch or a once-beloved pair of jeans, tend to wear out in places. Somewhere around the seven-year mark, many couples begin to feel a vague, unsettling restlessness—hence the famous "seven-year itch."

The term, popularized by the 1955 Marilyn Monroe film, suggests that romantic partnerships hit a dangerous period of decline after roughly seven years, leading to higher rates of dissatisfaction, infidelity, and divorce. But is there any science behind this claim, or is it just another cultural myth?

The answer, as with most things in psychology, is complicated. The "seven-year itch" isn’t exactly fiction, but it’s also not destiny.

Let’s unpack the research, explore contrary findings, and see what the latest science tells us about relationship longevity.

The Origins of the Seven-Year Itch: A Statistical Phenomenon?

Sociologists and demographers have observed patterns of divorce timing for decades.

One of the most frequently cited studies on this subject comes from the National Center for Family & Marriage Research (Brown et al., 2012), which found that the average length of a first marriage before divorce is about seven to eight years.

This statistical trend appears across multiple studies (Cherlin, 2009), suggesting that something about this period in a relationship makes it particularly vulnerable.

From an Evolutionary Psychology standpoint, some researchers argue that the seven-year mark aligns with the time needed to raise a child past early developmental dependence (Fisher, 1992). The depressing theory posits that many long-term relationships are biologically "programmed" to dissolve after this period unless reinforced by social, emotional, or financial bonds.

Why Do Couples Struggle Around Year Seven?

Several factors contribute to relationship dissatisfaction around this time:

• The Hedonic Treadmill Effect – Psychologists have long noted that human beings tend to return to a baseline level of happiness after major life changes, including marriage (Lucas et al., 2003). What once felt thrilling and novel—the wedding, the honeymoon, the first home together—becomes mundane. The lack of novelty can lead to restlessness or the false perception that something is "wrong" with the relationship.

• The Decline of Passionate Love – Studies show that passionate love tends to decline over time, while companionate love increases (Hatfield & Rapson, 1993). Unfortunately, many people mistake this transition as a sign that their relationship is failing, rather than evolving into something deeper and more sustainable.

• Accumulated Conflicts – Over seven years, small grievances can compound if not addressed. According to Dr. John Gottman’s research (1999), relationships suffer when negative interactions (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling) outweigh positive interactions at a ratio of 5:1.

• Mid-Life Reassessment – By the seventh year of a long-term commitment, many couples enter their 30s or 40s, a period of major life reassessment. Career stagnation, parenting fatigue, or simply a desire for personal reinvention can place additional stress on a partnership (Arnett, 2014).

Contrary Research: Not Every Relationship Declines at Seven Years

While the seven-year itch is a well-observed statistical trend, newer research challenges the idea that it’s inevitable.

A study by Lavner and Bradbury (2010) found that couples who engaged in effective conflict resolution and emotional responsiveness early on were much less likely to experience a sharp decline in satisfaction around this period. In other words, the seven-year itch may be more about unresolved relational patterns than an unavoidable psychological phase.

Additionally, some studies suggest that relationship satisfaction follows a U-shaped curve, meaning that couples who persist beyond the "itch" often find greater happiness in later years (VanLaningham et al., 2001). This suggests that many relationships do recover from mid-term dissatisfaction if partners are willing to adapt and invest in their bond.

What Can Couples Do to Avoid the Seven-Year Slump?

Rather than resigning to fate, couples can take active steps to counteract relational decline:

• Prioritize Novelty – Research shows that shared novel experiences release dopamine, rekindling attraction (Aron et al., 2000). This means that date nights, vacations, or even small changes to routine can prevent stagnation.

• Develop Emotional Intelligence – The ability to navigate emotional triggers and regulate stress is essential. Couples who practice mindfulness and emotional attunement tend to weather rough patches better (Karremans & Kappen, 2017).

• Engage in Meaningful Rituals – Rituals of connection, whether weekly check-ins, shared hobbies, or affectionate routines, build relational security over time (Gottman, 2011).

• Redefine Love Over Time – Expecting passion to remain at honeymoon levels forever is a recipe for disappointment. Instead, couples should embrace the shift toward deep emotional intimacy as a sign of a mature and evolving partnership (Sternberg, 1986).

A Myth with a Grain of Truth

The seven-year itch is real in the sense that many relationships hit a rough patch around this time, but it is not an inevitable death sentence for love.

Research suggests that relational decline is not tied to the calendar but to the way partners navigate changes over time.

The good news? With awareness, effort, and emotional adaptability, the seven-year itch can be transformed into a seven-year deepening.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples' shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273-284.

Arnett, J. J. (2014). Emerging adulthood: The winding road from the late teens through the twenties. Oxford University Press.

Brown, S. L., Lin, I. F., & Hammersmith, A. M. (2012). Trends in divorce rates by marital duration. National Center for Family & Marriage Research.

Cherlin, A. J. (2009). The marriage-go-round: The state of marriage and the family in America today. Knopf.

Fisher, H. E. (1992). Anatomy of love: The natural history of monogamy, adultery, and divorce. W. W. Norton & Company.

Gottman, J. M. (1999). The marriage clinic: A scientifically based marital therapy. W. W. Norton & Company.

Gottman, J. M. (2011). The science of trust: Emotional attunement for couples. W. W. Norton & Company.

Hatfield, E., & Rapson, R. L. (1993). Love and attachment processes. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 19(5), 556-567.

Karremans, J. C., & Kappen, G. (2017). Mindfulness and relationship satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 34(5), 602-618.

Lavner, J. A., & Bradbury, T. N. (2010). Trajectories and predictors of marital quality over time. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(5), 1171-1187.

Lucas, R. E., Clark, A. E., Georgellis, Y., & Diener, E. (2003). Re-examining adaptation and the set point model of happiness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(3), 527-539.

VanLaningham, J., Johnson, D. R., & Amato, P. (2001). Marital happiness, marital duration, and the U-shaped curve. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63(2), 531-544.