Stress bragging: Why flaunting your stress is the new office faux pas
Wednesday, June 26, 2024.
Stress talk is an emerging workplace habit — but why do people do it and what is the effect? When people ‘brag’ about how much stress they are under, they do it because they think it makes them look better to co-workers and others.
But actually ‘stress bragging’, as the researchers term it, only serves to make braggarts seem less competent and less likable, a study finds.
Worse, stress bragging makes the braggart’s colleagues and those around them feel more stressed and burnt out.
Stress as a Badge of Honor
In an initial survey, which included 360 participants, individuals were asked their impressions of a colleague who described a conference they had to attend as: “…just one more thing on my full plate. And I was already stressed to the max… you have no idea the stress that I am under.” The reactions were overwhelmingly negative.
Professor Jessica Rodell, the study’s first author, commented, “This is a behavior we’ve all seen, and we all might be guilty of at some point. When I was wondering about why people do this, I thought maybe we are talking about our stress because we want to prove we’re good enough. We found out that often backfires” (Rodell, 2023).
The Backfire Effect
Not only did people dislike the stress braggart, but they reported being less likely to help them out. Professor Rodell noted, “People are harming themselves by doing this thing they think is going to make them look better to their colleagues” (Rodell, 2023).
A Contagious Effect
A second survey of over 200 real-life employees found people who worked with stress braggarts felt more stressed themselves.
It creates a culture in which high levels of stress are expected.
Professor Rodell explained, “When somebody is constantly talking about and bragging about their stress, it makes it seem like it is a good thing to be stressed. It just spills over onto the co-worker next to them. They wind up feeling more stressed, which leads to higher burnout or withdrawal from their work. Think of it as this spiraling contagious effect from one person to the next” (Rodell, 2023).
Showing Off is the Problem
While showing off about being stressed is damaging to the self and others, being stressed itself does not have the same effect. People who discussed their stress in passing or those who merely appeared stressed without talking about it did not create the same negative impression on others as stress braggarts.
Professor Rodell explained, “It’s not the being stressed part that’s a problem. We found that if I perceive you as stressed, I actually see you as more competent” (Rodell, 2023). It is boasting about stress that is the problem, said Professor Rodell: “If you genuinely feel stressed, it’s OK to find the right confidant to share with and talk about it. But be mindful that it is not a badge of honor to be bragged about—that will backfire. It not only harms the bragging co-worker. If employees see somebody bragging about their stress, it will have a spillover effect that can have bigger implications for the workplace.” (Rodell, 2023).
How to Handle Stress Without Bragging
So, what's the takeaway here? If you’re genuinely stressed, sharing your feelings is okay, but choose your confidants wisely.
Vent to a trusted friend or mentor rather than broadcasting your stress to everyone in earshot.
Remember, stress is not a badge of honor, and bragging about it will likely backfire, making you seem less competent and more isolated.
Creating a healthier workplace culture
Addressing the emerging culture norm of stress bragging is crucial to fostering a healthier work environment.
Encourage open and honest conversations about stress without the need for one-upmanship. Shut this narcissistic preoccupation down by promoting the idea that being constantly stressed is not a mark of dedication or competence.
Instead, focus on creating a supportive atmosphere where employees feel comfortable discussing their challenges without fear of judgment.
While it might seem like a good idea to showcase your stress as proof of your hard work, it’s better to keep your stress talk to a minimum.
By doing so, you’ll not only improve your own well-being but also contribute to a more positive and productive workplace.
So, the next time you feel the urge to stress brag, take a deep breath, and remember that silence, indeed, can be golden.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Rodell, J. B., Shanklin, B. C., & Frank, E. L. “I'm so stressed!”: The relational consequences of stress bragging. Personnel Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1111/peps.12645
