Startling differences between men and women
May 19, 2024 revised and updated.
Let's dive into some groundbreaking research conducted at the Behavioral Health Science Department at the University of California, Berkeley, where scientists shed light on these intriguing gender differences.
The Unpleasant Experiment
Imagine this: volunteers are sitting peacefully when suddenly, a gun is fired behind them. It's not exactly a walk in the park, right? This experiment aimed to measure startle responses in men and women, and the findings were nothing short of fascinating. Both genders exhibited the same startle reflex, but physiological measurements revealed some fundamental differences.
Men: Startled and Ready to Rumble
When the gunshot rang out, men's heart rates skyrocketed, and it took longer to return to normal. But here's the kicker: their emotional reaction was predominantly anger. Some even contemplated revenge on the researcher! High stress seemed to diminish fear in men, replacing it with a surge of anger and a readiness to react.
Women: Startled and Seeking Safety
In stark contrast, women reported feeling fear when startled.
This response aligns with broader research indicating that women typically react to stressful situations with fear and are more likely to experience fear again in similar future situations. Women also tend to face more fear throughout their lifetimes compared to men. One key reason is their heightened ability to access social support, which is crucial in their response to fear.
Evolutionary and Social Factors
Women’s heightened fear response is partly due to their historically more vulnerable position. They are twice as likely to develop PTSD after a traumatic experience, exacerbating their natural inclination towards fear. While we can't definitively say how much of these differences are due to socialization versus psychobiology, it’s clear that women’s experiences contribute significantly.
For instance, by the age of 18, 25% of young girls have experienced sexual abuse, and a staggering 50% of women in the military have faced sexual assault or rape. This harsh reality underscores why women are more easily and readily fearful.
The Power of Touch in Relationships
Dr. Susan Johnson, the co-developer of Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), offered practical advice for men based on this understanding.
Neuroscience reveals that intimate partners can significantly soothe each other’s fears. In a famous study at the University of Virginia, women hooked up to fMRI machines were told they would soon receive an electrical shock.
Their fear levels remained unchanged when holding a stranger’s hand or no hand at all. But when they held their husband’s hand, the results were telling: unhappily married women saw a modest drop in fear, while happily married women experienced a complete elimination of fear.
Johnson’s research shows that EFT can create measurable changes in the brain, reducing fear and pain by restoring the couple's intimate bond.
Calmness is Key
Interestingly, research from the University of Dundee found that women are more attracted to calm men than high-stress ones. This likely ties back to the recognition that a low-stress partner has a greater ability to soothe and connect, which is crucial for women dealing with fear.
Practical Advice for Men
So, what can men do with this information?
If your wife is fearful, don’t dismiss her fears as silly or trivial.
Understand that men and women experience fear differently. Comfort her with touch, hold her hand, and show that you’re there for her. Even if your relationship isn't perfect, your efforts to soothe her will be noticed and appreciated. Remember, your wife's life experiences are uniquely her own, and your understanding and support can make a world of difference.
Final thoughts
Understanding these startling differences between men and women can help improve relationships and emotional connections. By acknowledging and respecting these differences, we can create stronger, more supportive partnerships that cater to the unique needs of both genders. So next time you’re startled, remember: your reaction might say more about you than you think!
RESEARCH:
Loren McCarter and Robert W. Levenson ”Sex differences in physiological reactivity to the acoustic startle” (lecture, presented at the Society for Psychophysiological Research Thirty-Eighth Annual Meeting, Hyatt Regency Denver, Colorado, September 23-27, 1998).
J.A. Coan, H.S. Schaefer, and R. J. Davidson, Lending a hand: social regulation of the neural response to threat,”Psychological Science 17, no. 12 (December 2006) 1032-9.
