Am I the Family Scapegoat? Quiz
Monday, June 10, 2024. This is for my client LB
If you're wondering whether you might be the family scapegoat, this quiz can help you gain some insight.
Answer each question honestly to better understand your family dynamics.
Do you often feel blamed for problems in the family that you didn't cause?
A) Always (Hello, my name is Not Me)
B) Often (Only on days that end in 'y')
C) Sometimes (Just when the stars align)
D) Rarely (It's like spotting a unicorn)
Are you frequently criticized by family members, even when you haven't done anything wrong?
A) Always (I'm the family dartboard)
B) Often (Just another Tuesday)
C) Sometimes (Depends on the weather)
D) Rarely (It's a blue moon event)
Do you feel like your achievements are downplayed or ignored by your family?
A) Always (Gold medal in invisibility)
B) Often (Participation trophy at best)
C) Sometimes (When I win the lottery)
D) Rarely (Every dog has its day)
When something goes wrong, are you usually the first to be blamed?
A) Always (My middle name is Scapegoat)
B) Often (As certain as taxes)
C) Sometimes (When the dog ate their homework)
D) Rarely (Hallelujah chorus plays)
Do family members tend to gloat or take pleasure in your mistakes or failures?
A) Always (Cue the popcorn)
B) Often (Entertainment at its finest)
C) Sometimes (A minor chuckle here and there)
D) Rarely (Only when pigs fly)
Do you feel isolated or left out during family gatherings and events?
A) Always (VIP at the kids' table)
B) Often (More like a ghost)
C) Sometimes (Third wheel, anyone?)
D) Rarely (Life of the party!)
Are you often accused of being too sensitive or overreacting when you express your feelings?
A) Always (Drama king/queen title holder)
B) Often (Oscar-worthy performances)
C) Sometimes (A splash of tears)
D) Rarely (Stone cold)
Do you feel like you're expected to solve or mediate family conflicts more than others?
A) Always (Family's personal UN)
B) Often (Peacekeeper-in-chief)
C) Sometimes (Diplomat on standby)
D) Rarely (Crisis averted!)
Do family members frequently gossip about you or spread rumors within the family?
A) Always (I'm the family headline)
B) Often (Hot topic at dinner)
C) Sometimes (A whisper here, a whisper there)
D) Rarely (Crickets...)
Do you notice that other family members receive more support and praise than you?
A) Always (Where's my cheer squad?)
B) Often (They get the parade, I get the crumbs)
C) Sometimes (A pat on the back once in a while)
D) Rarely (I'm the golden child!)
Do you feel like your opinions and feelings are dismissed or invalidated by family members?
A) Always (Echo...echo...)
B) Often (Thanks, but no thanks)
C) Sometimes (Half-listened to at best)
D) Rarely (Eureka! They heard me!)
Are you often compared unfavorably to other family members?
A) Always (Living in their shadow)
B) Often (Second fiddle here)
C) Sometimes (Occasionally demoted)
D) Rarely (Star of the show)
Do you feel like your family treats you differently than they treat others in the family?
A) Always (Special treatment, not the good kind)
B) Often (Noticing a trend)
C) Sometimes (Depends on their mood)
D) Rarely (One of the gang)
Do you experience a higher level of stress and anxiety during family interactions?
A) Always (Family time = stress time)
B) Often (Brace for impact)
C) Sometimes (A mild tremor)
D) Rarely (Calm as a cucumber)
Do you feel like you're the target of unfair or excessive punishment within the family?
A) Always (Frequent flyer in the doghouse)
B) Often (Grounded for life)
C) Sometimes (Occasional wrist slap)
D) Rarely (Free pass!)
Do you sense that your family expects you to fail or doesn't believe in your abilities?
A) Always (Set up for failure)
B) Often (No faith here)
C) Sometimes (A sliver of doubt)
D) Rarely (Cheerleaders unite!)
Do you find it difficult to trust your family members because of past experiences?
A) Always (Trust issues galore)
B) Often (Walking on eggshells)
C) Sometimes (Guarded heart)
D) Rarely (Open book)
Do you feel like you have to constantly prove yourself to your family?
A) Always (Perpetual job interview)
B) Often (Climbing uphill)
C) Sometimes (Now and then)
D) Rarely (Resting on laurels)
Have you ever been accused of causing issues that clearly weren't your fault?
A) Always (Chief scapegoat)
B) Often (Usual suspect)
C) Sometimes (Occasional blame game)
D) Rarely (Squeaky clean)
Do you often feel unappreciated or undervalued by your family?
A) Always (Invisible hero)
B) Often (Overlooked)
C) Sometimes (Somewhat acknowledged)
D) Rarely (Family MVP)
Scoring
To interpret your results, assign points to each response as follows:
A) Always = 4 points
B) Often = 3 points
C) Sometimes = 2 points
D) Rarely = 1 point
Total your points:
60-80 points: You likely have strong indications of being the family scapegoat. It might be helpful to seek support from a therapist to explore these dynamics further. If you’ve read this far, please let me know. I can help with that.
40-59 points: You may experience scapegoat-like treatment, but it's not as pervasive. Reflect on specific situations and consider addressing these issues directly or with professional help.
20-39 points: Scapegoating isn't a major issue for you, but there are some areas where you might feel unfairly treated. Pay attention to these and seek ways to improve your family relationships.
Below 20 points: Scapegoating doesn't seem to be a significant problem in your family. Your interactions are likely more balanced and healthy.
Remember, this quiz is a tool for self-reflection and not a definitive diagnosis. If you feel distressed about your family dynamics, consider seeking professional help. And remember, as my client LB quipped, if all else fails, there's always stand-up comedy!
