The Secret Link Between Personality Traits and Self-Esteem: How Adolescence Shapes Who We Become

Saturday, September 21, 2024.

As a marriage and family therapist, I often see parents scratching their heads, wondering how their once-carefree child morphed into a bundle of nerves, stress, and self-doubt overnight.

Adolescence is a delicate balancing act—hormones raging, friendships shifting, and suddenly your kid feels like they’re living in a pressure cooker.

But beyond the teenage drama, something much deeper is happening: their personality and self-esteem are shaping and reshaping each other in fascinating ways.

A new study published in the Journal of Personality & Social Psychology explores this dynamic by analyzing how personality traits predict changes in self-esteem during adolescence and, conversely, how self-esteem influences the evolution of personality traits.

This study, conducted by Kristina Bien and colleagues, provides a roadmap for understanding these interactions. Spoiler alert: it’s like the personality-self-esteem tango, where sometimes you lead, and other times, you’re stumbling over your feet.

Adolescence: The Personality Playground

For adolescents, personality development and self-esteem aren’t just two isolated processes—they are intricately connected, like a poorly made friendship bracelet that’s always on the verge of unraveling.

According to this study, traits like extraversion and conscientiousness often boost self-esteem, while neuroticism tends to knock it down a few pegs.

But what's groundbreaking here is how the study dives deeper into the cause-and-effect relationship between these traits and self-esteem over time, offering a more nuanced look at how teenagers evolve emotionally.

Breaking Down the Findings: Who’s Got the Power?

Let’s start with the obvious: extraversion—the life-of-the-party trait—predicts higher self-esteem.

Why?

Well, the more social interactions teens have, the more feedback they get that says, “Hey, you’re not so bad after all.” It’s like a positive feedback loop for their egos. Meanwhile, neuroticism—that lovely trait responsible for anxiety and overthinking—puts the brakes on self-esteem. Neurotic teens often find themselves locked in a spiral of worry and self-doubt, which doesn’t exactly pave the way for a strong self-concept.

But here’s the kicker: this relationship between personality and self-esteem is reciprocal.

It’s not just that extraversion boosts self-esteem—having higher self-esteem also makes teens more likely to become extraverted.

The same goes for openness to experience.

Teens who start exploring new ideas or hobbies often see a bump in self-esteem, which in turn, emboldens them to explore even more. It’s a bit like how gaining confidence on a first date might make you feel brave enough to ask for a second one. This might also be, for some, early onset monotropic focus. In other words, “ I can notice deeply that I can notice deeply.”

On the flip side, the study found that neuroticism had a one-way ticket to lowering self-esteem.

The more neurotic you are, the worse you feel about yourself over time, but interestingly, raising your self-esteem doesn’t seem to do much to reduce neuroticism.

As a therapist, I’d interpret this as neuroticism being a hard nut to crack—it requires more targeted interventions than just a boost in self-image.

Why the First Two Months Matter (But Not as Much as You Think)

One of the most fascinating aspects of this study is how the impact of personality changes on self-esteem fades over time.

The effects are strongest in the first two months after a shift occurs—think of it like a honeymoon phase for your personality and self-esteem.

You suddenly become more conscientious, start doing better in school, and your self-esteem skyrockets.

But after a couple of months, the excitement wears off, and things start to level out. It’s a good reminder for parents (and therapists) that while changes in personality traits can have immediate effects, they don’t always have lasting power unless sustained by ongoing growth and effort.

Acquaintance Reports: What Your Friends Know That You Don’t

Here’s where the study gets particularly interesting—Bien and her colleagues didn’t just rely on the teenagers’ own perspectives.

They also gathered “acquaintance-reports” from people close to the adolescents.

And wouldn’t you know it?

These friends, parents, or close acquaintances noticed that personality traits—especially neuroticism—exerted an even stronger influence on self-esteem than the participants themselves realized.

It turns out, people close to us can often spot the ways we’re self-sabotaging better than we can. This echoes what other research has found—that personality changes are often more visible to those around us before we’re even aware of them (Robins & Trzesniewski, 2005).

Limitations: Not All Teens Are Created Equal

While this study provides valuable insights, it’s important to note some profound limitations. The participants were mostly female German adolescents on an academic track. This certainly does not reflect the broader adolescent experience, particularly for teens facing different social, economic, or educational challenges.

If you’re raising a rebellious teen with no interest in the academic grind, their personality trajectory might look quite different.

In other words, this research might have more to say about neurodiverse young German women than any other group. Cultural factors, may also inhibit the ability to comfortably generalize off this research. It is still intriguing work, nonetheless.

Other Research: A More Complex Picture

Another thing. The relationship between personality and self-esteem is far from cut-and-dry.

For instance, research by Orth et al. (2010) suggests that self-esteem tends to rise steadily throughout adolescence, regardless of personality changes.

This means that while personality traits like extraversion or neuroticism do play a role, other factors—like supportive friendships or family relationships—can also be major drivers of self-esteem.

Furthermore, the meta-analysis by Roberts, Walton, and Viechtbauer (2006) emphasizes that personality is highly malleable throughout life, particularly in response to life events. So, while neuroticism might be stubborn, it’s not set in stone either.

The Takeaway: What Does This Mean for Parents?

What does all this mean for the parents of adolescents who feel like they’re watching a personality tornado rip through their home?

First, remember that your teen’s personality traits and self-esteem are engaged in a complex dance.

There will be moments when your child’s growing confidence leads to more extroverted or conscientious behaviors, and other times when anxiety or neurotic tendencies can drag them down. But take heart—these changes aren’t permanent, and with the right support, there’s always room for growth.

Second, trust your gut instincts.

If you’re noticing changes in your teen’s personality or self-esteem that they’re not yet aware of, this study suggests you might be onto something. Whether you’re dealing with a neurotic teen who needs extra emotional support or an extrovert who thrives in social settings, being attuned to these shifts can make all the difference.

Growing Up Is Messy, But There’s Hope

Adolescence isn’t just a period of rebellion and hormonal chaos; it’s a critical time for developing personality and self-esteem. By understanding how these two elements shape each other, we can help guide our teens toward healthier, happier lives.

And, if nothing else, know that these changes—while intense—are often fleeting. So next time your teen throws a fit because their self-esteem took a hit, remember: it’s all part of the dance.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES

Bien, K., Wagner, J., & Brandt, N. D. (2024). Growing up to be mature and confident? The longitudinal interplay between the Big Five and self-esteem in adolescence. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology. DOI.

Orth, U., Robins, R. W., Trzesniewski, K. H., Maes, J., & Schmitt, M. (2010). Low self-esteem is a risk factor for depressive symptoms from young adulthood to old age. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 119(3), 472–478.

Roberts, B. W., Walton, K. E., & Viechtbauer, W. (2006). Patterns of mean-level change in personality traits across the life course: A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Psychological Bulletin, 132(1), 1–25.

Robins, R. W., & Trzesniewski, K. H. (2005). Self-esteem development across the lifespan. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 14(3), 158–162.