Gifted Kid Burnout: How Early Achievement Can Lead to Adult Exhaustion (and What You Can Do About It)
Saturday, September 21, 2024.
As a marriage and family therapist, I’ve often worked with adults who were labeled as “gifted” as children.
What I’ve found is that the pressure of being a high achiever early in life can sometimes lead to something many call Gifted Kid Burnout—a unique blend of exhaustion, perfectionism, and underachievement that strikes in adulthood.
You might have seen it depicted in memes like “Remember when you were the smartest kid in class? Now you’re just tired.” While these memes offer a funny take on the experience, they highlight a real struggle faced by many gifted folks.
Gifted kid burnout has become a hot topic on social media, with countless people relating to the feeling of early promise and adult fatigue.
But what exactly causes this, and how can former “gifted kids” navigate it? Let’s dive deeper into the phenomenon, explore the research behind it, and talk about some practical ways to address the burnout.
What is Gifted Kid Burnout?
Gifted kid burnout refers to the experience where folks who were identified as gifted in childhood struggle to maintain the high levels of achievement expected of them into adulthood. The burnout often manifests as mental exhaustion, imposter syndrome, and a feeling of underachievement.
Despite showing promise early on, many gifted adults feel overwhelmed by adult responsibilities and the pressure to continually succeed. The gifted kid burnout meme perfectly captures this feeling, reflecting the gap between high childhood expectations and the reality of adult life.
Perfectionism: The Double-Edged Sword for Gifted Adults
One of the biggest drivers of gifted kid burnout is perfectionism.
Many gifted kids are praised for their intelligence, leading them to tie their self-worth to success.
While this mindset can push them to excel, it can also create a fear of failure. Over time, the pressure to maintain that high standard leads to mental exhaustion, anxiety, and even depression.
Research by Peterson (2006) found that gifted folks who struggle with perfectionism are more likely to experience burnout. They often feel they are not living up to their potential, even when they are successful by most standards. Memes like “Gifted kid to depressed adult pipeline” offer a humorous take on this, but the underlying message is clear: the constant pressure to be exceptional can take a serious toll on mental health.
Gifted adults often battle imposter syndrome, feeling like they’re frauds despite their accomplishments. They question whether they deserve the success they’ve achieved and worry about being "found out." This perpetual cycle of self-doubt and perfectionism can create a recipe for burnout.
Early Success, Later Struggles: The Reality of Gifted Adulthood
Another common theme in gifted kid burnout memes is the idea of early success leading to later struggles.
Many gifted kids excel in school without much effort, which can set unrealistic expectations for adulthood.
As they grow older and face more challenging tasks, they may feel inadequate for not breezing through life as easily as they did before. This can lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment, especially when they begin comparing themselves to their earlier achievements.
Memes like “I peaked in middle school” capture this sentiment of early success turning into adult burnout. Many gifted adults feel like they’ve fallen short of their potential, even when they’ve achieved more than most of their peers. The mismatch between early expectations and adult realities can be a key source of stress.
According to Gross (2004), gifted children who aren’t sufficiently challenged early in life can struggle with resiliencelater on. When they hit inevitable roadblocks, they may not have the skills to handle failure because they were never taught how to navigate difficulty as kids. This leads to a sense of inadequacy and burnout.
Hyperfocus: A Blessing and a Curse for Gifted Folks
One trait that often defines gifted humans is hyperfocus—the ability to concentrate intensely on a particular topic or task for long periods.
While this can be a strength, especially when it leads to deep learning or creative breakthroughs, it can also contribute to burnout.
Gifted folks often throw themselves into their work or interests to the point of exhaustion, forgetting to take breaks or care for themselves.
Memes like “I hyperfocused on learning a new skill and forgot to sleep for two days” humorously reflect how hyperfocus can lead to burnout. It’s easy to get caught up in the flow of learning or creating, but the physical and emotional toll of working without rest can lead to long-term exhaustion.
In therapy, I often recommend that gifted adults practice self-regulation and time management strategies to help balance their hyperfocus. Setting boundaries and creating routines that include rest and self-care can prevent burnout while still allowing for periods of deep focus.
The Twice-Exceptional Experience: The Unique Challenges of Being Gifted and Neurodiverse
For those who are twice-exceptional (2E)—gifted and also living with conditions like ADHD, autism, or dyslexia—burnout can feel even more overwhelming. These individuals often face a unique blend of intellectual and emotional challenges, leading to difficulties in organization, focus, and self-regulation.
Memes like “Gifted with a side of ADHD: Brilliant but can’t remember where I put my keys” capture the humor and frustration of being both gifted and neurodiverse. These individuals often excel in certain areas while struggling in others, which can lead to a sense of imbalance and burnout.
Research by Baum et al. (2014) found that twice-exceptional individuals often feel misunderstood, as their intellectual abilities can mask the challenges they face with focus, attention, and executive functioning. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and burnout, as they struggle to live up to the gifted label while also managing their neurodiverse needs.
How to Overcome Gifted Kid Burnout: Practical Steps for Adults
If you’re an adult who relates to the gifted kid burnout experience, it’s important to know that it’s not too late to make changes. Here are a few practical strategies to help prevent and overcome burnout:
Redefine Success: Gifted individuals often tie their worth to their achievements, but success doesn’t always mean being the best. Learning to value personal growth, effort, and balance can help reduce the pressure of perfectionism.
Practice Self-Compassion: Burnout is often fueled by self-criticism. Practicing self-compassion—being kind to yourself, especially in times of failure—can prevent burnout and help you recover from setbacks.
Set Boundaries: Hyperfocus can be a strength, but it needs boundaries. Setting time limits for work and scheduling regular breaks can prevent mental and emotional exhaustion.
Develop Emotional Resilience: Learning to navigate failure and setbacks is key to avoiding burnout. Therapy or coaching can help you build resilience by teaching you how to cope with challenges and view them as opportunities for growth.
Turning Burnout into Balance
The experience of gifted kid burnout is real, but it doesn’t have to define your adulthood. While the memes offer a funny take on the burnout many gifted individuals feel, the underlying message is one of lost potential and exhaustion. But with the right mindset shifts and practical tools, gifted adults can redefine what success means and find balance between their intellectual gifts and their emotional well-being.
If you’re feeling burnt out, just know that it’s not a sign of failure—it’s a sign that you need to reset and take care of yourself. And remember, even if you feel tired now, the brilliance that made you gifted in the first place is still there—it just needs a little nurturing.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
References
Baum, S. M., Schader, R. M., & Hebert, T. P. (2014). Through a Different Lens: Reflecting on a Strength-Based, Talent-Focused Approach for Twice-Exceptional Learners. Gifted Child Quarterly, 58(4), 311-327.
Gross, M. U. M. (2004). Exceptionally gifted children (2nd ed.). Routledge.
Peterson, J. S. (2006). Addressing the Perfectionism of Gifted Students. Gifted Education International, 22(3), 216-226.