How do people create change in their relationship?

Monday, May 27, 2024.

Ever feel like you’re banging your head against a wall trying to change your partner's annoying habits?

Breaking 2024 research tells us that many popular methods for changing behavior don’t work as well as we'd like.

But don't lose hope just yet—science has some answers!

Let’s dive into the amusing and enlightening world of effective behavior change and see how these principles can work wonders in couples therapy!

The Ineffective Toolbox

Before we get to the good stuff, let's have a chuckle at what doesn’t work.

Giving people information and trying to change their beliefs is about as effective as telling a cat to go fetch. Passive information handoffs only work in an overall therapeutic context.

For example, educating people on the benefits of healthy eating or safe driving hardly nudges their daily actions. We all know smoking is bad, but many still puff away.

Similarly, slapping on legal restrictions doesn't magically alter behavior either. Professor Dolores Albarracín, who led a comprehensive review, puts it bluntly:

“Interventions targeting knowledge, general attitudes, beliefs, administrative and legal sanctions, and trustworthiness—these factors researchers and policymakers put so much weight on—are actually quite ineffective. They have negligible effects.”

The Golden Trio: Habits, Access, and Social Support

• Habits: The Silent Puppeteers

Habits are like those sneaky ninjas of behavior change—they quietly control our actions without us even realizing it.

Once a habit is set, people keep doing it, even if it’s no longer beneficial (or downright harmful).

Imagine trying to change eating habits by teaching someone to avoid food cues in their environment. It's like giving a squirrel a map to avoid nuts—it's hard, but it works! In couples therapy, helping partners recognize and alter harmful habits can lead to significant change.

• Access: The Path of Least Resistance

• Environment plays a crucial role in behavior. If you want people to recycle, give them a recycling bin! Sounds obvious, right?

Yet, many attempts at behavior change fail because the necessary tools aren’t accessible. Want to help your partner quit smoking? Make sure there are easily accessible resources and support. If you aim to get your partner to join you for morning jogs, having the right gear ready can make a world of difference.

• Social Support: The Cheerleading Squad

People are influenced by those around them, making social support a powerful tool.

If you want your partner to exercise more, create a support system that encourages mutual goals. Studies show that individuals are more likely to stick to health routines when supported by friends and family. In couples therapy, fostering a supportive environment where partners cheer each other on can lead to lasting change.

The Runner-Ups: Methods That Kinda Work

While the golden trio reigns supreme, other techniques also offer a wee bit of help:

• Behavioral Skills and Attitudes

• Behavioral skills (knowing how) and attitudes (thinking something is good or bad) can have a small effect. For example, teaching communication skills can lead to safer behaviors in relationships. But remember, this isn’t the magic bullet.

Descriptive and Injunctive Norms

Descriptive norms tell people what others are doing, like, "Everyone is recycling more than you!" Injunctive norms highlight what people think others approve of, such as, "People like you disapprove of heavy drinking." These nudges have some effect but won’t rock your world.

Incentives: Show Me the Money?

Incentives can work, but don’t bet the farm on them. Monetary rewards can curb certain behaviors like substance abuse but often fall flat elsewhere. For example, paying people to get vaccinated didn’t yield the hoped-for results.

Emotions: A Mixed Bag

Emotions can sometimes motivate change, but the impact is often minimal. Anxiety about COVID only slightly increased protective behaviors, and worrying about HIV didn’t significantly boost condom use. However, guilt can encourage recycling, and gratitude can spur exercise—use these emotional levers sparingly.

Reminders and Monitors

Reminders and tracking tools (like apps or planners) can nudge behavior a bit. They’re helpful but don’t expect miracles.

How the study was conducted

This treasure trove of insights comes from a meta-analysis of nearly 150 studies. Researchers focused on interventions targeting health and environmental behaviors, splitting them into individual (targeting people) and socio-cultural (targeting society) categories.

Spoiler alert: practical, specific approaches win the day.

Professor Dolores Albarracín said, “By looking at research across domains, we now have a clearer picture of how to encourage behavior change and make a difference in people’s lives. Our research provides a map for what might be effective even for behaviors nobody has studied.”

Real-World Wisdom: The Takeaway

Changing behavior in real life is tough. Unlike lab studies with controlled conditions, real-world interventions must contend with daily chaos. The review underscores that to change behavior, one must be ruthlessly practical and specific.

General attitudes don’t cut it—effective interventions need to be hands-on, offering tangible support and leveraging social influence.

Exceptions and Surprises

While general trends hold, some specific interventions can outperform their categories. Monetary incentives can work well for substance abuse, and some habit interventions may only have a modest impact.

Use What Works

Changing behavior, especially in health and environmental realms, is challenging. Access, habits, and social support are your best bets. All other methods offer limited impact, even if scaled to millions.

Final thoughts

Remember, if you're aiming to help your partner or clients change, focus on practical, habit-based, and supportive strategies.

As Dr. Javier Granados Samayoa aptly said:

“There’s something about it that seems so straightforward—you think x and therefore you do y. But what the literature suggests is that there are a lot of intervening processes that have to line up for people to actually act on those beliefs, so it’s not that easy.”

In couples therapy, the same principles apply.

Change is hard, but with the right tools, habits, and support, you can make meaningful strides together.

So, next time you're trying to encourage a change, remember to be practical and supportive, and above all, have a little fun with it!

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

RESEARCH:

Albarracín, D., & Granados Samayoa, J. A. (2024). Determinants of behaviour and their efficacy as targets of behavioural change interventions. Nature Reviews Psychology, 1-16. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44159-024-00305-0