How to have happy children…
Friday, November 11, 2023. This is for EF… thanks for your support.
Researchers from Great Britain undertook the largest household panel survey ever conducted, period. 40,000 families tracked through time. This is an amazing, huge picture window into life in the UK.
Data from this massive study is already yielding valuable insights into reveal how parents can best raise happy children. I think that is the noblest intention for social science research.
Those who know me appreciate how much I value this sort of research….
Thanks to this massive study, we see a tight correlation between kids grow up happy and content, when their mother feels the same way about her life partner. I guess this is where Americans generate the trope of “if mamma ain’t happy, then ain’t nobody happy.” Or the more Protestant observation “ happy wife…happy life.”
Key findings to grow happy kids….
Looking back on their happy childhoods, a whopping 73% of humans whose mothers were ‘perfectly happy’ in their relationship say they are ‘completely happy’ with their own adult family situation as well!
But wait! There’s more! this is just one of the predictive factors which grow happy, content children.
Other findings:
Avoid arguments in front of the kids. Learn how to bookmark conflict. I can help with that..
Have dinner as a family at least three times a week, minimum. The research on the benefits of regular family dinner is massive.
A family culture which tolerates disrespect and back-talking to parents at a frequency of more than once a week was linked to much lower levels of happiness among children.
The researchers also found that having no younger brothers or sisters was also somewhat predictive for future happiness. There’s something swell about somewhat undivided, quality parental attention, perhaps?
Older siblings, interestingly enough, had no discernible impact on happiness.
I’ve written about the amazing Dr. Maria Iacovou, before. She’s an author of this study, and gifted mathematician…She said this:
“At a time when there is widespread political concern about ‘Broken Britain’, these findings show that family relationships and the happiness of parents are key to the happiness of young people.
Contrary to the popular belief that children only want to spend time playing videogames or watching TV we found that they were most happy when interacting with their parents or siblings.”
The conclusions come from a long-running UK study called ‘Understanding Society’.
It is the largest household panel survey in the world, which will follow over 40,000 households over a number of years.
These findings are based on a sample of over 10,000 men, women and children. I love these huge ambitious deep dives.
Dr. Iacovou also said:
“Together these findings reveal the complex influences of different family relationships on a child’s happiness.
Over the years, as Understanding Society follows the lives of families in the UK, we’ll build up an even better picture of how children’s lives are affected by all kinds of factors.
Understanding Society is really set to become a fantastic resource for anyone interested in the well-being of children.”
Final thoughts…
Research projects like this make me weep for joy. There is no effort as noble as removing the burden of suffering from children. And nothing weighs heavier on us than the anxiety that we are somehow thornily entangled in promoting that suffering.
There is much we can learn from loving, tight knit family systems. Projects like this may help an entire nation walk toward the light.
Be well, stay kind, and Godspeed.
RESEARCH:
The study was published by the Institute for Social and Economic Research (ISER) (Ermisch et al., 2011).
