Couples Therapy 2024: Love in the Time of Cultural Chaos

Friday, August 16, 2024. I guess if you have something to say, you have to risk appearing cranky from time to time. LOL. Thank you for your indulgence with this editorial, gentle reader.

In 2024, couples therapy isn’t just a service; it’s a science-based lifeline.

And believe me, some couples need one when the waters of modern culture are as choppy as they’ve ever been.

I say this with the deepest empathy for the people who walk through my door, seeking connection, understanding, and, let’s be honest, a way to survive the madness that is life in 2024.

Let’s start with the couples themselves—brave souls trying to nurture love in a world that seems hell-bent on distraction and division. They come in with genuine pain, real hurt, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, someone can help them untangle the mess they’ve found themselves in.

And who can blame them? In a culture that’s more interested in hashtags than heart-to-hearts, it’s a wonder anyone stays together at all.

But oh, the culture. If love is a garden, then our culture is a swarm of locusts, devouring anything tender before it has a chance to grow.

Take social media, for instance. In theory, it’s a way to connect with others, but in practice? It’s an endless loop of comparison, anxiety, and insecurity.

I see some couples torn apart by the constant barrage of Instagram-perfect lives, where everyone seems to have it all figured out except for them. It’s like trying to tend a garden in a hailstorm—no matter how much you care, the culture keeps pelting you with reasons to doubt yourself and each other.

And don’t get me started on communication.

Once upon a time, couples would argue over who left the cap off the toothpaste.

Now, they’re arguing over who “liked” whose post and whether a heart emoji means “I love you” or “I’m about to ghost you.” It’s like trying to decipher hieroglyphics, only with more potential for emotional devastation.

And the language of love? It’s being debased to memes and GIFs, as if a picture of a dancing cat could ever convey the depth of what you feel. But we keep trying, because what else is there?

Technology, and Limbic Capitalism too, has wormed its way into every crevice of our relationships.

Once, we would turn to our partners for advice, comfort, and support. Now, it’s just as likely that someone will ask Alexa for relationship tips before they ask their spouse.

It’s as if we’ve outsourced intimacy to a machine, hoping that somehow, it will understand us better than the person we’ve chosen to share our life with. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Yet, we persist, because this is the world we live in, and we’re all just trying to make the best of it.

But I have to give credit where it’s due.

Despite the chaos, the couples I see are fighting for something real.

They’re battling a culture that relentlessly tells them they’re not enough, that their love isn’t worth the effort, and that there’s always something better around the corner.

They’re struggling against a tide of consumerism and Limbic Capitalism that strives to turn love into a transaction, where affection is doled out in exchange for perfectly curated experiences. But they keep showing up, week after week, to my office—tired, frustrated, but still hopeful.

And that’s where I come in.

My job isn’t just to mediate conflicts or suggest date night ideas (although I’ve done that).

It’s to remind my clients that love isn’t something you swipe right on. It’s not an algorithm or a trend. It’s messy, complicated, and utterly human.

It requires patience, vulnerability, and a willingness to learn new skills to thwart the forces of Cultural Narcissism that would rather see us utterly isolated and disconnected.

In 2024, being a couples therapist means being a tireless gardener in a world full of weeds. It means helping people nurture their love, even when the culture tells them it’s easier to give up. It means being a witness to their struggles and a cheerleader for their victories, no matter how small.

Because in the end, love isn’t about perfection. It’s about consistent effort and hard-nosed persistence.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the couples who make it are the ones who refuse to let the world tell them what their love should look like.

Science-based couples therapy is only for folks who are motivated to stubbornly outlast their problems.

So here’s to the couples of 2024—may you continue to defy the odds, tend your garden, and find joy in the midst of the chaos waiting for us as we approach the uncertainty ahead.

And as for the culture? Well, it can take a long walk off a short pier. Thank God we have science-based couples therapy to offer to stubborn, serious couples.

Love will always find a way, even if we, as a community of practice, have to hack through a jungle of nonsense to get there.

Be well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.