Glamping anyone? …Can you strengthen your relationship with a couple vacation?
July 14, 2023. Bastille Day in the Beautiful Berkshires….Glamping is a portmanteau of "glamorous" and "camping", and describes a style of camping we often see out here, with amenities and, in some cases, resort-style amenities not usually associated with "traditional" camping. Glamping is a marvelous example of the kind of “couple vacation” I describe in this post.
The world has profoundly changed.
Studies worldwide increasingly suggest that work and obligations are devouring our lives.
Finding quality time to nurture our relationships has never been more essential.
As a couples therapist, it’s no surprise that I believe that good relationships are the cornerstone of a fulfilling life.
Surprisingly, the longest study in human history, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, found that good relationships are even more important than fame, economic success, and hard work in predicting physical health and overall well-being (Waldinger, 2015).
Not only do good relationships contribute to our mental well-being, but they also have a significant impact on our satisfaction with family life (Ryan and Deci, 2000; Ryff and Keyes, 1995; Seligman, 2011).
The power of couple vacations… specific findings
The Beachbound survey was a US-based survey of 2,000 people found that 42% of couples found the lost spark and fell back in love with their partner by enjoying a couple vacation. Holy sh*t! That’s a huge number!
According to the survey, 77% of respondents believe that couple vacations a great way to find happiness, rekindle romantic love and restore emotional energy into one’s life, especially during holidays.
Overall, vacations make the average person feel about 65% happier.
The survey conducted by Beachbound revealed that more than 50% said their world of happiness had expanded since they’ve returned from a couple vacation.
78% reported that traveling with friends is always reliably good fun.
45% of people go on vacation with their immediate family.
Surprisingly, despite the glowing experiential reports, only 37% of people go on vacation with their partner. But those that do feel that traveling with their partner, and/ or with a small group is fun and enjoyable.
Three out of every four (76%) say that spending a vacation with a loved one or partner makes them feel refreshed and recharged with romantic energy.
79% feel that traveling with someone is one of the best ways to strengthen a bond.
64% of their family members, 42% of their partners, and 37% of their friends reported that vacations helped them learn more about their loved ones while on vacation. They come back with memories that will last a lifetime, from mingling together, spending time at carefullly chosen resorts to spending time on beaches. Couples that experience the benefits of couple vacations plan them with great care.
45% feel that visiting various fun-filled places during a vacation, and relaxing together is the goal of a couple vacation.
41% say couple vacations do a great job in keeping the relationship vital and alive.
Is this research confirming the obvious?
Research sometimes does a fine job of confirming the obvious. One essential aspect of nurturing relationships is setting aside time for leisure activities.
Among the various forms of leisure, family leisure has been found to play a crucial role in enhancing satisfaction with family relationships (Agate et al., 2009).
However, when it comes to studying the benefits of family leisure, little attention has been given to couples as a family unit (Hodge et al., 2015; Townsend, Puymbroeck, and Zabriskie, 2017).
This is surprising, considering that approximately 61% of married households in the United States consist of couples without children (Statista, 2018).
Modern bullsh*t and the need for couple vacations
The collapse of work-life balance in modern life has made it difficult for couples to spend quality leisure time together, particularly regarding vacations.
Many couples without children in their households find themselves spending little time together in leisure activities, including vacations (Jacobs and Gerson, 2001; Voorpostel, Van Der Lippe, and Gershuny, 2010).
The demanding work culture prevalent around the world, including the United States, has contributed to this phenomenon (de Graaf, 2017).
Shockingly, a significant percentage of employees in the US do not fully utilize their paid vacation time, missing out on the prime opportunity to reconnect with their loved ones and strengthen their bonds (US Travel and Tourism Association, 2017).
…And all that research was before COVID…
The role of couple vacations in relationship satisfaction
Recent surveys have provided valuable insights into the positive effects of vacations on relationships.
A survey of 2,000 adults conducted by onepoll on behalf of their client BeachBound revealed that a whopping 42% of Americans have experienced falling back in love with their partner after going on vacation together (BeachBound survey). As I mentioned earlier….That’s the fu*king headline of this research.
The survey participants reported feeling significantly happier and experiencing an expanded sense of the world upon returning from vacations (BeachBound survey). The joyous nature of vacations was evident, with 77% of respondents stating that vacations are excellent for keeping the spark alive in relationships.
The human significance of shared travel
Traveling with a partner was considered particularly beneficial, with 78% of respondents stating that vacations are more enjoyable when shared with someone (BeachBound survey).
Many respondents noted that traveling with their partner or a small group yielded the most perks (37% each). (BeachBound survey).
Such shared experiences contribute to refreshing and strengthening the bond between couples (BeachBound survey).
Building intimacy and discovering new facets of your beloved’s personality…
Vacations sometimes offer an opportunity to learn and grow together as a couple.
Survey results indicated that 64% of respondents discovered new aspects about their loved ones while on vacation, including family members, partners, and friends (BeachBound survey).
The experiences gained during vacations create lasting memories, with two-thirds of respondents making an effort to capture as many photos as possible to commemorate their trips (BeachBound survey).
Final thoughts on vacations…
Any given couples therapist firmly believes that couple vacations are more than just a break from the bullsh*t and stress of daily life.
But the science is becoming irrefutable….
Because of the action of neurosciencentific forces, vacations provide a valuable opportunity for partners to strengthen their attachment, resolve issues, and ultimately experience higher levels of marital satisfaction (Chavez, 2015).
By prioritizing leisure time and investing in couple vacations, couples can revitalize their relationships, deepen their mutual understanding, and create memories that will endure for a lifetime, firmly installed in both of their nervous systems.
So, consider planning that romantic getaway and escape from daily life, allowing yourselves the chance to reconnect and reacquaint yourselves with one another (Doyne, 2023, Chavez, 2015, Yi, 2013).
Remember, your relationship is worth the investment…
Taking couple vacations, several times a year as Dr. Gottman suggests, can be a powerful tool in enhancing your love and connection.
Why not go one better?
Consider a Couples Therapy Retreat with yours truly in the gorgeous Berkshires, and add a few days fore-and-aft. Summer in the Berkshires is exquisite!
Be well, and Godspeed.
RESEARCH:
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