10 Lingering signs of narcissistic abuse
Wednesday, June 26, 2024
Narcissistic abuse can leave deep scars, often manifesting in subtle behaviors and patterns long after the abusive relationship has ended.
Recognizing these signs can be crucial for healing and moving forward.
Here are 10 lingering signs of narcissistic abuse that many survivors may experience.
Second-Guessing What People Say
One of the most pervasive effects of narcissistic abuse is chronic self-doubt. Survivors often second-guess what people say, constantly questioning their own perceptions and understanding. This stems from the gaslighting tactics frequently used by narcissists, where the abuser manipulates the victim into doubting their own reality.
Displaying a Poker Face at Social Gatherings
Survivors of narcissistic abuse might display a poker face at social gatherings. This stoic expression is a defense mechanism developed to avoid showing vulnerability. In abusive relationships, showing emotions can be dangerous, so survivors learn to mask their feelings.
Over-Cleaning Their Surroundings
Hypervigilance is a common aftermath of narcissistic abuse. Survivors may over-clean their surroundings as a way to exert control and create a sense of order in their environment. This compulsive behavior is a calming coping mechanism to counteract the chaos experienced during the abusive relationship.
Double-Checking Locked Doors at Home
Double-checking locked doors at home is another sign of the heightened anxiety and fear that lingers after narcissistic abuse. Survivors may develop obsessive behaviors around safety and security, constantly needing to protect themselves from potential threats.
Preferring to Eat or Travel Alone
Isolation is a common aftermath of narcissistic abuse. Survivors may prefer to eat or travel alone to avoid potential triggers and to feel safer. Being alone can provide a sense of control and peace, free from the judgment or manipulation of others.
Stuttering, Sputtering, Word-Finding Difficulties, and Dissociation When Sharing Their Personal Stories
Narcissistic abuse often silences victims, making them fearful of sharing their personal stories. Survivors may verbally struggle to articulate their experiences due to the trauma and fear of judgment or disbelief they faced during the abusive relationship. Some victims may also dissociate, and lose their present-moment situational awareness.
Saying "I'm Sorry" To Excess
Constantly saying "I'm sorry" is a sign of the deep-seated guilt and shame instilled by narcissistic abuse. Survivors may apologize excessively, even for things beyond their control, as they were often blamed for everything by their abuser.
Avoiding Eye Contact and Downcast Eyes During Conversation
Avoiding eye contact in conversation can indicate a lack of confidence and fear of confrontation, which is common in survivors of narcissistic abuse. This behavior reflects the internalized belief that they are not worthy or that direct eye contact could provoke a negative reaction.
Hyperventilating When Proving a Point
Survivors may hyperventilate when trying to prove a point due to the intense stress and anxiety associated with defending themselves. During the abusive relationship, any attempt to assert themselves was likely met with hostility, causing a deep fear of confrontation.
Brushing Off Compliments
Brushing off compliments is a defense mechanism developed from a lack of self-worth instilled by the abuser. Survivors may struggle to accept positive feedback, often believing they are unworthy of praise or fearing ulterior motives behind the compliments. It’s also true that narcissists often use compliments as a means of control, which instills a sense of anxiety in their partner.
Recognizing these lingering signs of narcissistic abuse is the first step toward healing. If you or someone you know is exhibiting these behaviors, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide guidance and tools for recovery.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
