Wired for Worship: Why Narcissists Sweat More When You’re Listening
Friday March 28, 2025.
By now, most of us have encountered at least one human being who, when given a social moment that wasn't about them, simply withered like a houseplant in a closet.
If you haven't, you may want to gently peer into a mirror and ask yourself if your coworkers are truly laughing with you.
Enter narcissism—the spicy human flavor that’s somewhere between charming confidence and grandiose theater.
Narcissists, according to the DSM and your uncle Kevin, tend to believe they are God’s gift to dinner parties.
They yearn for admiration the way cats yearn for warm laptops.
But recent research has added a physiological twist to this familiar plot: they don’t just like talking about themselves—they practically light up.
In a series of experiments more socially awkward than a freshman mixer with name tags that say “rate my vibe,” researchers from Finland (the land of introspection and cold lakes) rigged up 44 university students like lab rats at a TED Talk.
Electrodes were attached, conversations were staged, and the researchers quietly observed whether narcissists get a little too jazzed while talking about themselves. This research suggests that they do.
The Setup: College Kids, Electrodes, and Personal Stories
Emmi Koskinen and colleagues had a simple question: Does your average narcissist actually get more physiologically aroused—measured by skin conductance, aka sweatier palms—when given a golden opportunity to bask in their own glory?
To answer it, they ran three experiments involving same-sex pairings of students. (Because nothing sparks self-disclosure like talking to someone with matching chromosomes and roughly the same GPA.)
Here’s what they did:
Experiment 1: Casual chit-chat. “Hi, what’s your major?” “I like dogs.” Result? Boring. No measurable difference in narcissist arousal. Apparently, small talk is beneath them. Or it’s just too pedestrian to trigger the ego alarms.
Experiment 2: The emotional elevator. Participants took turns describing happy and sad moments. This was where things got juicy. The narcissists started to glow. Not metaphorically—electrically. Their skin conductance spiked during both happy and sad stories. Turns out, just being the center of attention, regardless of the emotional content, is enough to make a narcissist’s nervous system throw a party.
Experiment 3: The Big One. Four prompts: Best nature experience. Worst movie. A time they felt admired. A time they felt ashamed. The narcissists got sweaty—again—but especially when talking about admiration. Not shame. Shame, as anyone who’s been to therapy can tell you, is kryptonite to narcissistic self-concept. But admiration? That’s their Gatorade.
This next part is fascinating. If they were talking to someone who was also high in narcissism, their arousal was even higher.
Narcissists, it seems, don’t just want an audience.
They want a worthy audience—someone who knows just how impressive they are because they, too, believe they are impressive. Narcissist meets narcissist. A match made in a room full of mirrors.
Wired Up and Rattling
Why does this matter? Because it confirms what therapists, poets, and anyone who’s ever been stuck in a conversation with a self-proclaimed “visionary” already suspected: narcissists don’t just love attention—they need it, and their bodies know it.
The researchers noted, with admirable Scandinavian understatement, that self-disclosure is “a double-edged sword” for narcissists.
It presents both the risk of being judged and the reward of being admired. Their physiology reacts as if they’re stepping into the Colosseum for emotional gladiator games.
But here’s the twist: their arousal isn’t about vulnerability.
It’s about the thrill of potential validation. These aren’t people cracking open their souls to seek connection. These are people strategically releasing stories like PR consultants rolling out a product launch. “Let me tell you about the time everyone admired me,” they say, as their palms sweat and their pupils dilate.
A Note on Science and Sweaty Students
Before we slap this finding on your least favorite uncle, a note of caution: the study involved 44 Finnish university students. That’s not exactly a global cross-section. No Instagram influencers. No politicians. No hedge fund managers. Just good ol’ students with student-level narcissism.
Still, the takeaway is deliciously human: our egos aren’t just abstract ideas. They’re wired into the meat and electricity of our bodies. The narcissist isn’t just puffed up inside—he’s pulsing, sweating, glowing with the possibility that you, dear listener, might clap at the right moment.
Beware the Echo Chamber with Nicer Hair
The most poetic (and alarming) part?
Narcissists get even more excited when talking to other narcissists. Imagine two black holes spinning into each other, fueled by mutual admiration and zero empathy. It's like reality TV, but with skin conductivity sensors.
Humans are strange, lonely creatures. Some of us get high on love. Others get high on applause. Some can’t tell the difference.
And now, we have electrodes to prove it.
Be Well, Stay kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Koskinen, E., Henttonen, P., Harjunen, V., Krusemark, E., Salmi, J., Tuominen, J., Wuolio, M., & Perakyla, A. (2024). “Wired up about self” – narcissistic traits predict elevated physiological arousal during self-disclosure in conversation. International Journal of Psychophysiology.