What’s money got to do with it? The art of financial harmony in relationships
Wednesday, May 29, 2024.
When it comes to sustaining a happy, long-term romantic relationship, many factors come into play – mutual respect, shared values, open communication, and of course, love and attraction.
But one area that often gets overlooked, despite being an essential component of a couple’s long-term success and mental wellbeing, is financial compatibility.
Money matters can make or break a relationship, especially when partners come from different socioeconomic backgrounds or have vastly different financial habits, goals, and expectations.
Openly communicating about finances, credit, and money management is vital for lasting relationship success.
Financial Compatibility: The Key to a Happy Union?
Socioeconomic Divide: Financial incompatibility often stems from partners coming from different socioeconomic classes and backgrounds. They may have received very different messages about proper financial behaviors, leading to conflicting perspectives on financial priorities, goals, and money management (Pew Research Center, 2020).
Furniture vs. Investment Antiques: Differences in perspective on purchases can lead to debates. Finding a balance between differing views on furniture and decor purchases requires open communication and compromise.
Different Views on Loans: Couples from different socioeconomic backgrounds may approach loans differently. It's crucial to assess the financial situation, conduct research, and have a solid plan in place before taking on debt.
Financial Status and Future Wealth: Differing backgrounds and experiences with money can lead to tension in a relationship. Honest conversations about core values and beliefs around money can help couples find a middle ground (Gudmunson, Beutler, Israelsen, McCoy, & Hill, 2007).
Red Flags and Deal Breakers: Financial infidelity, where one partner hides accounts or lies about their financial situation, is a serious warning sign. Trust and transparency are essential for a healthy relationship (CreditCards.com, 2018).
Finding Financial Harmony: Tips for Couples…
Open Communication: Discuss your financial philosophy, income, budgeting style, savings, retirement plans, credit scores, current debt, and future financial goals early in the relationship (Dew, Dakin, & Buboltz, 2004).
Shared Financial Goals: Set joint financial goals and regularly review them. Consider opening a shared bank account or seeking guidance from a financial advisor if needed.
Compromise: Understand and respect each other's views on money. Finding a middle ground can lead to a financially harmonious relationship.
Regular Money Dates: Schedule regular, calm discussions about your budget and financial situation to ensure both partners are on the same page (Britt, Grable, & Nelson, 2011).
Final thoughts
Money might not buy love, but it can certainly influence the health and stability of a relationship. Talking about money, and where it goes is panning for gold. In other words, you will always find your real values.
Class differences in marriage can be tough.
But by openly discussing finances, respecting each other's views, sifting through your shared values, and finding the occasional compromise or accommodation, couples can build a strong foundation for a financially harmonious future together.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
RESEARCH:
Dew, J., Britt, S., & Huston, S. (2012). Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce. Family Relations, 61(4), 615-628.
This study explores the impact of financial disagreements on marital stability and divorce.
Britt, S. L., Grable, J. E., Nelson, J. M., & White, M. A. (2016). Financial Infidelity, Financial Communication, and Relationship Satisfaction. Journal of Financial Therapy, 7(2), 3.
This research examines the effects of financial infidelity on relationship satisfaction and the role of financial communication in couples.
Pew Research Center. (2018). For Many Couples, Money Is a Key Reason for Their Arguments. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/.
This report discusses the role of money in relationship conflicts based on a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center.
Lichter, D. T., & Qian, Z. (2008). Serial Cohabitation and the Marital Life Course. Journal of Marriage and Family, 70(4), 861-878.
While not directly about financial compatibility, this study explores patterns of cohabitation and marriage, which can be related to financial decision-making in relationships.
Call, V. R., & Sprecher, S. (1998). The Effect of Conflict Resolution and Conflict on Satisfaction in Married Couples. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15(6), 749-769.
This study examines the impact of conflict resolution styles on relationship satisfaction, which can be influenced by financial disagreements.
