Understanding Unsupportive Spouse Depression: a closer look
Tuesday, May 21, 2024. Revised and updated.
Believing that you have an unsupportive spouse has been identified as a primary source of depression.
New research shows that partners who perceive their spouses as unsupportive are at a higher risk of depression than those who are alone and unmarried.
But what exactly is unsupportive spouse depression?
Around 16% of people in the U.S. experience depression at some point in their lives, and about 7% are clinically depressed at any given time.
Nearly half of all couples seeking therapy have at least one depressed spouse.
Research suggests that 40-50% of couples in therapy have at least one partner who meets the criteria for clinical depression (Gordon, 2005).
Key Findings from the Ackerman Institute
Peggy Papp, Director of the Depression Project at the Ackerman Institute, found in 2003 that persistent negative emotions in one partner are a reliable predictor of marital conflict. Recent research expands on this, showing that two relationship patterns promote depression: having an unsupportive partner and having a partner under continuous social stress.
Depression isn’t just about feeling sad. It has serious consequences, affecting work, family life, and increasing the risk of heart disease, stroke, and cancer.
The Impact of Relationship Quality on Depression
The quality of all relationships, not just intimate ones, influences the risk of depression. Dr. Alan Teo, the principal author of a significant study, commented:
"Our study shows that the quality of social relationships is a significant risk factor for major depression. This is the first time that a study has identified this link in the general population."
How the study was conducted
This large longitudinal study followed over 4,600 people for a decade, measuring their relationship quality, stress levels, and support, while tracking any onset of depressive symptoms.
Feedback on New Research
The study confirmed the existence of "unsupportive spouse depression." A lack of spousal support is directly linked to clinical depression, though only one in seven people with poor spousal support developed depression. Among those with better relationships, only one in 15 developed depression.
Dr. Teo emphasized the importance of relationship quality in medical care, suggesting broader use of couples therapy as both a treatment and preventative measure:
"These results tell us that health care providers need to remember that patients’ relationships with their loved ones likely play a central role in their medical care. They also suggest that the broader use of couples therapy might be considered, both as a treatment for depression and as a preventative measure."
Defining Unsupportive Spouse Depression
How is "unsupportive" defined? How is "poor spousal support" defined? Here are a few scenarios:
Different Interests: Partners do not want to do the same things or not see things the same way.
Substance Abuse: A spouse engaged in alcohol or drug dependency.
Workaholism: A spouse is consumed with work and neglects family life.
Dream Pursuit: A spouse unwilling to support the other's dreams, leading to sacrifices in family/finances.
Dismissal: One partner dismissing or demeaning the other's pursuits.
Stubbornness: Refusing to see the other’s point of view.
Attachment Styles: Different attachment styles influence perceptions of support.
Unsupportive Spouse Depression vs. Isolation
Surprisingly, a sense of isolation was not linked to depression, but the perception of an unsupportive spouse was a primary driver.
Quality of intimate relationships is crucial, with unsupportive, critical spouses significantly increasing the risk of major depression.
The Role of Science-Based Couples Therapy
Dr. Teo highlighted the strong correlation between poor relationship dynamics and depression onset:
"The magnitude of these results is similar to the well-established relationship between biological risk factors and cardiovascular disease. What that means is that if we can teach people how to improve the quality of their relationships, we may be able to prevent or reduce the devastating effects of clinical depression."
This research suggests that couples therapy can significantly impact treating and preventing depression by improving relationship quality.
Treating Unsupportive Spouse Depression
Achieving a better relationship where one partner feels unsupported involves addressing the perception of being unsupported and alone. Depression is treatable with a comprehensive approach, including medical exams, exercise, diet, sleep, and addressing life circumstances.
Science-based couples therapy might explore:
Social Support: Assessing the quality of their relationships.
Meaningful Work: Evaluating engagement in fulfilling activities.
Contribution: Understanding their roles in family and community.
Couples working together, as they would for managing physical health conditions, can apply similar strategies to tackle depression. Dr. Teo’s research underscores the importance of skill-building in couples therapy to prevent or reduce depression.
Understanding Depression and Perception
Dr. Teo’s research identifies two dimensions in relationships: social support and strain from criticism. Addressing these can help manage depression, which can be persistent or recurrent. Couples therapy can help recognize warning signs and develop treatment plans.
The Depression Paradox
Depression can manifest as irritability, withdrawal, or self-medication, further eroding relationships. Comprehensive assessment at the start of therapy is crucial, screening for depression and becoming part of the treatment plan.
Final thoughts
Depression distorts thinking, making science-based couples therapy essential. Addressing unsupportive spouse depression through therapy can break the cycle, improve relationship quality, and prevent the onset of depression.
Couples therapy, according to this research, can prevent and treat depression, offering a hopeful path for couples battling this challenge.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
