The Definitive History of the "Toxic Positivity" Meme

Tuesday, October 8, 2024.

In the age of self-help gurus, social media influencers, and a constant stream of affirmations, the idea of staying positive no matter what has become more than just a mindset—at one point, it was almost a cultural mandate.

Enter the meme “toxic positivity,” a term that calls out the dark side of the American penchant for relentless optimism.

This meme critiques how the pressure to always “stay positive” can harm those going through genuine emotional struggles.

What began as a critique has evolved into a widespread meme, resonating with those who feel trapped in the “good vibes only” culture.

The Origins of "Toxic Positivity"

The phrase "toxic positivity" first emerged in online mental health and wellness discussions in the early 2010s. It quickly gained traction as scholars, therapists, and social media users began describing the downsides of always focusing on the bright side.

This cultural critique became a meme as positivity, particularly on social media, became disconnected from America’s lived experience.

Much of the momentum for toxic positivity initially came from Instagram, where influencers often posted quotes like “Just think positive!” or “Good vibes only!” While typically well-intentioned, the constant push for positivity began to feel suffocating to those dealing with difficult life events or mental health struggles.

In response, many folks pushed back with the idea of "toxic positivity" to describe the damage done when positivity dismisses or silences negative emotions.

What Makes Positivity Toxic?

At its core, toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how difficult a situation may be, one must maintain a positive mindset. It’s a decidedly American cultural conceit.

While optimism has its place, forced positivity often leads to emotional suppression. Psychologist Dr. Susan David highlights this in her work, noting that “negative emotions are a part of our contract with life. We cannot be fully human, fully grown, or fully emotionally intelligent if we shun them” (David, 2017).

Toxic positivity reduces the full range of human emotions to a binary: happiness or failure.

This pressure to remain upbeat can leave people feeling alienated, ashamed, or misunderstood when they experience legitimate negative emotions. Over time, mental health professionals have recognized that this attitude can exacerbate mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

The Meme Takes Hold

As the concept of toxic positivity grew in professional mental health circles, it quickly turned into a meme across public social media platforms. People began posting sarcastic, humorous takes on positivity, with memes highlighting the absurdity of the “good vibes only” mentality. One popular meme reads:

“Having a bad day? Just stay positive! (and ignore all your real emotions).”

Other versions include ironic advice like, “Have you tried smiling more?” or “It could be worse!”—all designed to mimic the kind of unhelpful support that well-meaning friends often provide.

Psychologist Whitney Goodman, a critic of toxic positivity, notes that “toxic positivity places shame on people for feeling things that are anything but positive” (Goodman, 2021). This observation helps explain why the meme resonated so deeply. It validated the emotional experiences of many people who felt shamed for expressing anything other than happiness.

Research on Emotional Suppression

The dangers of toxic positivity are not just anecdotal—they are backed by research.

Studies on emotional regulation reveal that suppressing negative emotions can lead to heightened psychological distress. Gross and John (2003) found that habitual emotional suppression is associated with increased stress, poorer well-being, and strained relationships.

Another important study by Shallcross et al. (2013) demonstrated that accepting negative emotions—rather than denying them—results in better mental health outcomes. These findings underline the importance of embracing the full range of emotions, not just the positive ones, for long-term mental health.

By becoming a meme, "toxic positivity" has brought these critical psychological insights into mainstream awareness, encouraging people to be more honest with themselves and others about their emotional state.

A Cultural Shift

The popularity of the toxic positivity meme has contributed to a broader cultural shift toward embracing emotional authenticity.

Mental health advocates now stress the importance of acknowledging and validating all emotions, not just the positive ones.

Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability, frequently discusses how real connection only happens when people feel seen in their struggles, not just their triumphs. The rejection of toxic positivity reflects a growing recognition that emotions are not problems to be solved but experiences to be honored.

Toxic Positivity in the Workplace

Toxic positivity has also become a relevant issue in workplace culture, where phrases like “stay positive” and “good vibes only” are often used to keep morale high—even in stressful situations.

However, research published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology has shown that this forced positivity can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion (Hülsheger & Schewe, 2011).

By calling out toxic positivity, this meme highlights the importance of creating work environments where authentic emotional expression is welcomed, rather than pushed aside in favor of artificial cheerfulness.

Why It Matters

The rise of the toxic positivity meme points to a deeper issue: how society deals with emotional pain.

Toxic positivity exposes the fact that while positivity is helpful, it becomes harmful when used to deny the complexity of human emotion. This meme has become a rallying cry for those advocating for a more balanced, compassionate approach to emotional well-being.

In therapy settings, mental health professionals encourage clients to embrace both positive and negative emotions, promoting emotional health through honest self-expression. This shift from "good vibes only" to "all vibes welcome" signals a cultural acknowledgment that emotional honesty is key to healing.

Toxic positivity is more than just a meme—it’s a social critique with real implications for mental health. As the term spreads across social media, it encourages people to confront the harmful effects of forced positivity.

Life is hard, emotions are complicated, and it’s okay to not always be okay. In fact, allowing yourself to experience all emotions—positive and negative—may just be the healthiest path forward.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES

David, S. (2017). Emotional agility: Get unstuck, embrace change, and thrive in work and life. Avery Publishing.

Goodman, W. (2021). Toxic positivity: Keeping it real in a world obsessed with being happy. TarcherPerigee.

Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(2), 348–362. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.2.348

Hülsheger, U. R., & Schewe, A. F. (2011). On the costs and benefits of emotional labor: A meta-analysis of three decades of research. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 16(3), 361–389. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022876

Shallcross, A. J., Ford, B. Q., Floerke, V. A., & Mauss, I. B. (2013). Getting better with age: The relationship between age, acceptance, and negative affect. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104(4), 734–749. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0031180