The Tree of Life in Narrative Therapy: Can It Help the Rootless?

Thursday, January 30, 2025.

The Tree of Life is a widely used tool in Narrative Therapy, designed to help people explore their identity, strengths, and personal history using the metaphor of a tree.

Created by David Denborough and Ncazelo Ncube-Mlilo, this approach encourages folks to reflect on their roots (past and culture), trunk (skills and values), branches (hopes and dreams), leaves (support systems), and storms (challenges)—all in a way that highlights resilience and growth.

Sounds lovely, right?

But what happens when someone feels completely disconnected from their roots?

When the past doesn’t feel like a source of strength but rather a tangled mess—or worse, a void?

Can the Tree of Life still be helpful for someone who feels placeless, adrift, or even cut off from their past?

Let’s explore both the power and the potential limitations of this intervention, with an honest look at where it shines—and where it might need a few modifications.

How the Tree of Life Can Help Someone Who Feels Rootless

For many, the Tree of Life provides a comforting way to make sense of their experiences. But for those who feel like they don’t have “roots”—whether due to family estrangement, adoption, immigration, or personal struggles with identity—this exercise can be tricky.

However, being rootless doesn’t have to mean being lost.

It can also mean having the freedom to define oneself outside of what was inherited. Here’s how this intervention can be particularly helpful for those who feel disconnected from a traditional sense of home, culture, or family. In other words, not all who wander are lost.

Rewriting What “Roots” Mean

Many people hear “roots” and think of ancestry, culture, or childhood memories—which is great if those things feel positive. But what if they don’t? What if someone doesn’t know their biological family? What if their upbringing was painful?

Instead of thinking of roots as just where we come from, this exercise can help reframe them as what has sustained us—even if that’s not family in the traditional sense.

• Maybe your “roots” are books that changed your perspective.

• Maybe they’re the values you’ve built through experience.

• Maybe they’re friendships, music, or even a city you adopted as your own.

For a third-culture kid, adoptee, or immigrant, this can be an empowering shift: You get to decide what your roots are.

Turning Trauma into Strength

Many who feel rootless have experienced loss, displacement, or deep personal struggles. The beauty of the Tree of Life metaphor is that storms happen to all trees—but they don’t define them.

This allows folks to:
✔ Externalize hardship (instead of feeling like trauma is who they are).
✔ See their resilience—not as an accident, but as part of their story.
✔ Recognize that, despite challenges, they are still growing.

For someone who has felt like they’ve been tossed around by life, this can be a powerful reminder: even trees that have been through storms can thrive.

Building Identity Through Choice

Some people have a clear sense of where they belong, but others have had to create their identity from scratch. The Tree of Life allows for that.

Instead of being tied to a specific past, this approach helps people recognize that they can define their own trunk, branches, and leaves.

• Trunk: Your skills, strengths, and values—whether inherited or chosen.

• Branches: Your aspirations, not what others expect from you.

• Leaves: The people who truly support you—even if they’re not biological family.

For someone who feels they don’t belong anywhere, this exercise offers a reassuring message:
"You do belong—to yourself. And you get to decide who and what nurtures your growth."

Where the Tree of Life Might Fall Short

While this intervention has a lot to offer, it isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some people may struggle with certain parts of the metaphor, or even feel resistant to the whole concept. And that’s okay! Here’s where it might miss the mark—and how therapists can adapt it.

What If Your “Roots” Are Painful?

For those who come from toxic families, childhood trauma, or cultural alienation, reflecting on roots might be more painful than helpful. Not everyone feels strength from their past—sometimes, it’s the very thing they’ve tried to escape.

Alternative Approach:
Instead of framing roots as "where you come from," it can be about "what has sustained you." This could be mentors, life experiences, even personal philosophies.

What If Someone Doesn’t Relate to the Metaphor?

Not everyone resonates with the idea of identity as a tree. Some people—especially those experiencing severe depression or existential crisis—may feel like their tree is withered, uprooted, or nonexistent.

Alternative Approach:
Therapists can offer different metaphors:

• A river (constantly flowing, shaped by different experiences).

• A mosaic (made up of many small, meaningful pieces).

• A phoenix (rising from challenges stronger than before).

Sometimes, a different image resonates better for certain folks. And that’s totally fine.

Does It Fit Every Culture?

The Tree of Life has been adapted across many cultures, but it’s still based on a Western concept of identity—where personal growth is seen as linear and individualistic. In some cultures, identity is seen as cyclical, collective, or deeply tied to ancestors.

Alternative Approach:
For those who don’t connect with the tree metaphor, a therapist might modify it to:

• A web (interconnected relationships and history).

• A journey (a map of past and future).

• A garden (where different parts of identity grow and evolve together).

By making space for different ways of seeing identity, the intervention becomes much more inclusive.

Final Thoughts: A Tool, Not a Rule

The Tree of Life is a beautiful, flexible way to explore identity, resilience, and growth. But like any therapeutic tool, it’s not a perfect fit for everyone.

✔ It works well for those who want to reclaim their story and define their own path.
✔ It’s especially helpful for those who have experienced displacement, trauma, or loss but want to see themselves as more than their hardships.
✖ But it may need adjustments for those who feel deeply disconnected, struggle with metaphor-based therapy, or come from backgrounds where identity is more fluid than fixed.

Ultimately, what matters most is helping people feel seen, understood, and empowered—whether through a tree, a river, a mosaic, or whatever image best represents their unique journey.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.