The Psychology of Love: What Science Says About Why We Love

Thursday, February 6, 2025.

Love is often considered the foundation of a happy and lasting relationship, but have you ever wondered why we love in the first place?

What purpose does love serve in our lives, and is it truly as universal as we believe?

A fascinating new study published in Human Nature sheds light on these questions, offering compelling evidence that romantic love is not just a cultural preference but a deeply ingrained part of human connection across the globe.

Love as a Universal Commitment Device

Researchers have long speculated about the role of love in human relationships.

Some suggest that romantic love evolved from the attachment bonds between infants and caregivers, ensuring emotional security and survival.

Others argue that love is a biological system designed to keep couples together long enough to raise their children successfully.

But a particularly compelling theory suggests that love functions as a "commitment device"—a powerful force that binds partners together, ensuring mutual support and stability.

If love is truly a commitment device, then it should be a universal factor in long-term relationships. This is exactly what researchers set out to investigate. Their global study examined how people from diverse cultural backgrounds value romantic love when choosing a life partner.

Love and Marriage: A Global Perspective

The study, led by Marta Kowal and her team, surveyed an astonishing 86,310 participants from 90 countries, asking them how important romantic love was in their decision to marry.

The results confirmed what many of us intuitively know—love matters.

In almost every culture studied, people expressed a strong reluctance to marry without love, reinforcing the idea that love is a fundamental aspect of long-term relationships.

However, the study also revealed intriguing variations in how different groups value love.

For example, folks with lower socioeconomic status placed greater importance on romantic love than wealthier souls. This suggests that love may act as an emotional and practical anchor for those with fewer financial resources, providing security in times of uncertainty.

Gender Differences: Do Women Value Love More?

One of the study’s most striking findings was that women consistently placed a higher value on romantic love than men.

This aligns with evolutionary theories suggesting that because women bear greater biological costs in reproduction, they have historically been more selective when choosing a partner. In this context, love serves as a critical signal of a partner’s commitment and long-term stability.

For women, romantic love might not just be about passion—it’s about security, trust, and a reliable partnership. This finding underscores why love continues to be a dominant factor in relationship choices, particularly for women seeking long-term commitment.

The Role of Parenthood in Valuing Love

Interestingly, the study also found that people with more children placed a greater emphasis on love in their relationships.

Raising children requires immense cooperation, patience, and emotional support. A loving, committed partner can make parenting significantly easier, reinforcing the idea that love is not just about romantic passion but also about the practicalities of partnership and family life.

Love in Developed vs. Developing Countries

Another fascinating insight from the study was that people in highly developed countries placed more importance on romantic love than those in less developed regions.

In modern societies, where personal fulfillment and emotional satisfaction are prioritized, love is often seen as an essential ingredient in a successful marriage.

By contrast, in societies where economic survival takes precedence, practical considerations such as financial stability or family alliances may outweigh romantic love in marriage decisions.

What This Means for Relationships Today

These findings highlight that while love is a universal human experience, the way we value it can depend on our circumstances, gender, and cultural environment.

Love is not just a fleeting emotion—it is a mechanism deeply embedded in our evolutionary history, reinforcing bonds, ensuring stability, and ultimately helping relationships thrive.

If you're in a relationship or looking for one, this research is a reassuring reminder that prioritizing love is not just a modern romantic ideal—it’s a fundamental part of what makes human relationships work. Whether in the bustling cities of Europe or the rural villages of Asia, love continues to be a driving force behind our most cherished relationships.

Looking Ahead: Future Research on Love

Despite the wealth of insights gained from this study, there is still much to learn about love.

Future research could explore additional factors such as age, religious beliefs, and societal norms around marriage and divorce to further understand how love is valued across different contexts. Scientists also hope to examine love in greater detail, including its neurological and psychological underpinnings.

As lead researcher Adam Bode explains, “Love is a fascinating, important, and understudied area of human relationships. We hope studies like this one will inspire more researchers to delve into the complexities of love and commitment.”

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Kowal, M., Bode, A., Koszałkowska, K., Roberts, S. C., Gjoneska, B., Frederick, D., Studzinska, A., Dubrov, D., Grigoryev, D., Aavik, T., Prokop, P., Grano, C., Çetinkaya, H., Duyar, D. A., Baiocco, R., Batres, C., Belkacem, Y., Boğa, M., Burduli, N., Can, A. R., Chegeni, R., Chopik, W. J., Don, Y., Dural, S., Duyar, I., Etchezahar, E., Fekih-Romdhane, F., Frackowiak, T., García, F. E., Yepes, T. G., Guemaz, F., Hamdaoui, B. B., Koyuncu, M., Landa-Blanco, M., Lins, S., Marot, T., Mayorga-Lascano, M., Mebarak, M., Morelli, M., Ndukaihe, I. L. G., Fauzee, M. S. O., Pacquing, M. C. T., Parise, M., Pazhoohi, F., Pirtskhalava, E., Ponnet, K., Reips, U.-D., Reyes, M. E. S., Şahin, A., Sahli, F. Z., Senyk, O., Spasovski, O., Tulyakul, S., Ungaretti, J., Vintila, M., Volkodav, T., Wlodarczyk, A., Yoo, G., Gelbart, B., & Sorokowski, P. (2025). Love as a commitment device: Evidence from a cross-cultural study across 90 countries. Human Nature.