The Power of Humor and Acceptance…
Tuesday, April 2, 2024.
Humor and Acceptance Key to Happy Long-Term Relationships, Research Reveals
Humor and acceptance trump bickering, a recent study suggests. While disagreements may dominate the early stages of marriage, they often evolve into moments of tenderness as time progresses. This positive trend persists regardless of the satisfaction level within couples.
The findings challenge the notion that positive emotions dwindle with age, a belief held by some psychologists. Instead, long-term life partners tend to prioritize positive emotions and experiences as they grow older.
Professor Robert Levenson, spearheading the ongoing research, highlights the paradox of late-life happiness revealed by the study. Despite facing the loss of loved ones, older spouses in stable marriages exhibit higher levels of happiness and lower rates of depression and anxiety. Marriage, it seems, offers a protective factor for mental well-being.
How the study was conducted…
The research, involving 87 couples married for 15 to 35 years, tracked their emotional dynamics over a 13-year period. Results unveiled an increase in humor and affection over time, alongside a decline in criticism and defensiveness.
Researchers analyzed videotaped conversations between 87 middle-aged and older husbands and wives who had been married for 15 to 35 years, and tracked their emotional interactions over the course of 13 years. They found that as couples aged, they showed more humor and tenderness towards one another.
Dr. Alice Verstaen, a co-author of the study, emphasizes the significance of intimate relationships as people age, stressing the potential health benefits linked with marriage due to its positive emotional impact.
Interestingly, the study noted that women tended to become less emotionally expressive with age and displayed increased dominance over their spouses…
These findings are important because they tell us that as these marriages matured (by the end of the study, all couples had been married for at least 35 years, and the older couples had been married for over 50 years), the spouses became better at handling disagreements in a more positive, less negative way.
Despite the phenomenon of Gray Divorce…this data bodes well for the human ability to solve the many problems and challenges that an intimate bond presents over time.
Although other studies have addressed how marriages differ at different stages of life, this study was unique in that it followed a sample of well-established marriages longitudinally over time and repeatedly observed their actual emotional behaviors. My readers know how much I appreciate and value longitudinal studies.
These behavioral findings align with research indicating that human beings tend to become more attuned to the positives in life as they age, as summarized by Professor Levenson.
This study is part of the ongoing 25-year UC Berkeley research, which has been tracking 150 long-term marriages since 1989. Longitudinal studies such as these are both compelling and useful.
Be well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
