The Great School Refusal Epidemic: Post-Pandemic Anxiety and What Parents Can Do About It
Friday, March 14, 2025.
The school bus pulls up, the doors swing open, and your child, rather than sprinting toward it with a backpack full of half-eaten granola bars and forgotten permission slips, clings to the doorframe like a cat avoiding a bath. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
School refusal—a phenomenon where children experience extreme distress about attending school—has surged in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.
What was once an occasional occurrence has now become a full-blown crisis, with many parents scrambling for solutions.
Why Are Kids Refusing to Go Back to School?
Before the pandemic, school refusal was primarily associated with anxiety disorders, bullying, or major life transitions. But post-pandemic, a perfect storm of factors has escalated the problem. Researchers have identified several key contributors:
Disrupted Routines – Two years of on-again, off-again schooling turned daily structure into a free-for-all. Many children adapted to the predictability of home and are now struggling with the rigid demands of a structured school day (Loades et al., 2020).
Social Anxiety & Isolation – During lockdowns, social interactions shrank to the size of a Zoom screen. For some kids, reintegrating into crowded hallways and noisy cafeterias now feels overwhelming (Berg-Weger & Morley, 2020).
Academic Anxiety – Learning loss during the pandemic is real, and many children feel academically behind, making the classroom a source of stress rather than learning (Kuhfeld et al., 2021).
Increased Mental Health Issues – Depression and anxiety rates in children and adolescents skyrocketed during the pandemic, with school avoidance becoming a coping mechanism (Golberstein et al., 2020).
Parental Over-Accommodation – Some well-meaning parents, having witnessed their child’s distress, have unknowingly reinforced avoidance behaviors by allowing repeated absences, making reintegration even harder (Kearney, 2021).
Is This Just "Being Lazy" or Something Bigger?
School refusal is not the same as skipping class to hang out at the mall (do kids still do that?). It is a serious psychological response to distress.
A study by Menzies et al. (2021) found that children experiencing school refusal often exhibit symptoms of panic attacks, headaches, stomach aches, and severe emotional distress at the thought of attending school.
Simply telling them to "toughen up" or "just go" is about as effective as telling someone with a fear of flying to "stop being dramatic" mid-turbulence.
What Parents Can Do to Help
So, what’s the game plan? School refusal is complex, but there are evidence-based strategies parents can use to guide their children back to school.
Gradual Exposure: The "One Step at a Time" Approach
Behavioral psychologists swear by gradual exposure as a tool for overcoming avoidance behaviors. If your child is completely homebound, start small:
Drive past the school.
Walk around the campus.
Attend a half-day before committing to a full day (Heyne et al., 2019).
This helps desensitize the fear response and rewire the brain’s association with school from "existential dread" to "mild inconvenience."
Validate, But Don’t Enable
Saying "You have to go to school, end of discussion" invalidates your child’s fear, while saying "Okay, you can stay home forever" reinforces avoidance. Instead, aim for the middle ground: "I know this is hard for you. Let’s figure out how to make it easier together" (Kearney, 2021).
Rebuild the Routine—And Stick to It
During remote learning, rolling out of bed at 9:59 AM for a 10 AM Zoom class was the norm. Post-pandemic, many kids never re-adapted to strict wake-up times and morning routines. A structured bedtime, morning checklist, and tech-free wind-down period can ease the transition (Hale & Guan, 2015).
Address Underlying Anxiety
If anxiety is fueling school refusal, it needs to be tackled at the root. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is highly effective in treating school-related anxiety, helping children reframe their fears and develop coping strategies (Pina et al., 2009). Therapy, mindfulness techniques, and breathing exercises can also be powerful tools.
Work With the School, Not Against It
Teachers and school counselors are your allies. Many schools now have reintegration programs, flexible attendance plans, and in-school counseling services to support struggling students (Weist et al., 2021). Open communication can help tailor a plan that works for your child.
Cut Back on Avoidance Reinforcements
It’s easy to let home become an oasis of comfort—especially when "sick days" include Netflix and cozy blankets.
If a child’s refusal to attend school is met with a better alternative at home, they’re more likely to avoid school. Keep home time structured and limit access to social media, gaming, and leisure activities during school hours (Kearney & Graczyk, 2014).
What If Nothing Works?
If school refusal persists despite best efforts, it may signal a deeper issue, such as severe social anxiety, depression, or undiagnosed learning disabilities. In these cases, seeking a formal evaluation from a psychologist or educational specialist is crucial. Medication, therapy, and specialized interventions can be life-changing for children with severe anxiety disorders (Muris et al., 2016).
The Path Forward
The pandemic reshaped childhood in ways we’re still unpacking.
The rise of school refusal is not just a disciplinary issue—it’s a mental health crisis that requires understanding, patience, and evidence-based strategies.
The goal isn’t just to get kids physically into the building but to ensure they feel safe, supported, and capable of learning once they’re there.
And if all else fails, just remember: there was a time when you also tried to fake a fever to avoid a math test. The difference is, today’s kids are dealing with something far more complex, and they need our help finding their way back.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Berg-Weger, M., & Morley, J. E. (2020). Loneliness and social isolation in older adults during the COVID-19 pandemic: Implications for gerontological social work. Journal of Nutrition, Health & Aging, 24(5), 456-458.
Golberstein, E., Wen, H., & Miller, B. F. (2020). Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) and mental health for children and adolescents. JAMA Pediatrics, 174(9), 819-820.
Heyne, D., Van Royen, T., De Ruyter, M., & Van Den Bossche, M. (2019). School refusal treatment: Understanding who benefits. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 22(1), 1-17.
Kearney, C. A. (2021). Helping families manage school refusal: A cognitive-behavioral approach. Oxford University Press.
Loades, M. E., Chatburn, E., Higson-Sweeney, N., Reynolds, S., Shafran, R., Brigden, A., & Crawley, E. (2020). Rapid systematic review: The impact of social isolation and loneliness on mental health in children and adolescents in the context of COVID-19. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 59(11), 1218-1239.
Menzies, R. G., Harris, L. M., Cumming, S. R., & Einstein, D. A. (2021). Panic disorder and agoraphobia in the school setting: Clinical and educational implications. Springer Science & Business Media.