The 7 Stages of a Situationship Breakup (And How to Survive Each One)

Monday, March 10, 2025.

Congratulations, you’ve just ended something that was never technically a relationship, yet somehow hurts just as much, if not more, than a real breakup.

Welcome to the wonderful world of the situationship breakup—a special kind of emotional purgatory where you can’t even be sure you’re allowed to grieve. Because what are you grieving, exactly?

The Breakup That Wasn’t a Breakup but Still Feels Like One

• There were no anniversaries.

• No awkward introductions to their parents.

• No official titles or declarations of undying love.

And yet, here you are, eating a family-sized bag of chips while re-reading texts from someone who never actually called you their partner.

The good news? You’re not alone. Science tells us that ambiguous breakups cause more distress than formal ones(Slotter et al., 2012). Why? Because closure requires clarity, and clarity was never on the menu in a situationship.

But don’t worry. You’re going to get through this. All you have to do is survive the seven inevitable stages of a situationship breakup.

Stage 1: Denial (Or: “We Never Defined Things, So Maybe They’re Not Really Over?”)

This is where your brain goes full defense attorney. You sit there, re-reading old texts, looking for legal loopholes in your own heartbreak.

• “They never actually said they didn’t want to see me anymore.”

• “Maybe they just need space.”

• “People are busy. Maybe they got trapped under something heavy and can’t reach their phone.”

The Reality Check:
You were never official, so they don’t actually have to announce that they’re done. They just stop showing up.

How to Survive It:
💡 Screenshot their last text. Read it aloud in the most monotone, robotic voice you can manage. It probably says everything you refuse to accept.

Stage 2: Bargaining (Or: “What If I Just Casually Reach Out?”)

Now you start mentally constructing the perfect, non-needy text to reel them back in.

• “Hey! Hope you’re doing well :)”

• “Just saw something that reminded me of you lol.”

• “My cat misses you.” (You don’t even have a cat anymore.)

You convince yourself that if you just say the right thing, they’ll suddenly realize they miss you. This never works.

The Reality Check:
If they wanted to be with you, they’d already be here.

How to Survive It:
💡 Every time you’re tempted to text them, text yourself instead: “Hey, just checking in. Do I not respect myself today?”

Stage 3: Rage (Or: “How Dare They Act Like I Didn’t Matter?”)

Oh, now you’re pissed.

• How could they move on so fast?

• How could they treat you like an afterthought?

• Did they ever even like you, or were they just using you as emotional background noise?

At this point, you’re one impulsive decision away from publicly exposing them on social media.

The Reality Check:
Anger is just love’s last desperate disguise. It feels better than sadness because it makes you feel powerful instead of rejected (Kross et al., 2005).

How to Survive It:
💡 Resist the urge to send the scathing text that will absolutely ruin them. Instead, write it down. Keep it in your drafts. Revisit it in 48 hours. If it still feels like a good idea, congratulations on a differential diagnosis; you’re probably a sociopath.

Stage 4: The Instagram Spiral (Or: “Let Me Just Check One Little Thing…”)

Now you turn into a full-blown FBI-level social media investigator.

• You check their Instagram stories every five minutes.

• You analyze who’s liking their posts.

• You find yourself deep-stalking some random new person they followed, convincing yourself this is the new you.

The Reality Check:
Seeing them “move on” won’t give you closure. It will just keep you stuck in the past (Marshall et al., 2013).

How to Survive It:
💡 Mute. Block. Unfollow. Do whatever you need to stop yourself from playing detective. Your self-respect depends on it.

Stage 5: Depression (Or: “What If I Never Find This Connection Again?”)

This is the dark night of the soul. The part where your brain starts whispering, “Maybe they were The One, and I just lost them.”

At this stage, your Spotify Wrapped will forever expose you as someone who looped “Jealous” by Labrinth 146 times in a row.

The Reality Check:
You’re not missing them. You’re missing the fantasy version of them you created.

How to Survive It:
💡 Write down every single thing that bothered you about them. Read it every time nostalgia lies to you.

Stage 6: The Ill-Advised Rebound (Or: “I’ll Just Hook Up with Someone New, That’ll Fix It”)

Now you decide you just need a distraction. A little casual revenge flirting, a new situationship, or a chaotic one-night stand.

• You tell yourself, “It’s just for fun, I don’t even care.”

• You absolutely do care.

• You wake up feeling just as empty as before.

The Reality Check:
Rebounds are like cheap fast food when you’re starving. They fill you up temporarily, but they don’t actually nourish you.

How to Survive It:
💡 If you want a distraction, choose self-improvement, not global ennui.

Stage 7: The Glorious Indifference (Or: “Oh. I Actually Don’t Care Anymore.”)

One day, you wake up and realize you haven’t thought about them in weeks.

You stop caring who they’re dating. You stop checking their social media.

And when someone mentions their name? It barely registers.

The Reality Check:
You have outgrown them. And that’s the real win.

How to Survive It?
💡 You don’t have to. You already did.

Final Thought: The Best Revenge is Moving On (For Real, Not Just for Show)

At the beginning, you thought making them regret losing you was the goal. But by the time you reach Stage 7, you realize you don’t need their regret.

You needed to remember who you were before them.

You needed to heal in private, not flex in public.

And you needed to understand that you were always whole—situationship or not.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Kross, E., Berman, M. G., Mischel, W., Smith, E. E., & Wager, T. D. (2005). Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 102(15), 6277-6281.

Marshall, T. C., Bejanyan, K., Di Castro, G., & Lee, R. A. (2013). Attachment styles as predictors of Facebook-related jealousy and surveillance in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 20(1), 1-22.

Slotter, E. B., Gardner, W. L., & Finkel, E. J. (2012). Who am I without you? The influence of romantic breakup on the self-concept. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36(2), 147-160.