Soft Life vs. Hard Marriage: Why Gen Z Is Swiping Left on ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ (and What Comes Next)

Monday, March 10, 2025.

Marriage, as we know it, has been through multiple software updates. The "till death do us part" version of the mid-20th century was a lifetime contract with no refunds.

The millennial edition was riddled with delays, skeptical trial periods, and an opt-out clause called divorce. And now?

Gen Z’s Grand Exit from the Marriage Assembly Line

Now, Gen Z is looking at the whole institution the way one looks at a fax machine in the year 2025—outdated, vaguely stressful, and completely unnecessary in the era of cloud storage.

That doesn’t mean they’re abandoning love.

But they are questioning the value proposition of marriage in a world where personal fulfillment, financial stability, and mental well-being are the new holy trinity of adulthood.

And at the center of this shift? The Soft Life.

The Soft Life: Gen Z’s Answer to ‘Work Hard, Stay Miserable’

The soft life isn’t just an aesthetic or a hashtag—it’s a rejection of suffering as a prerequisite for success.

It’s radical self-care meets economic pragmatism. It’s choosing ease over struggle, peace over stress, and boundaries over burnout. It’s the antidote to grind culture, hustle porn, and those motivational LinkedIn posts that insist you should be waking up at 4 AM to “maximize productivity.”

It’s also, quite frankly, an evolution of feminist economics.

Why Gen Z (and Women, in Particular) Are Prioritizing a Soft Life Over Marriage

🔹 Women have historically been expected to sacrifice personal well-being for relationships and family. The soft life says: No thanks.

🔹 Marriage used to be an economic necessity. Now? Women are outpacing men in education and earning potential (Goldin, 2022). This means fewer women need marriage for survival, so they can afford to be more selective or opt out entirely.

🔹 Men aren’t exactly keeping up. Research shows that women are more likely to pursue self-improvement post-breakup, while men experience long-term emotional and financial decline (Morris & Reiber, 2011). In a world where women are thriving without marriage, and men often struggle after it ends, the incentives to get married look... unbalanced.

Bottom line: The trade-offs of marriage look worse than ever for women, and they’re acting accordingly.

Marriage Isn’t Dead, But It’s Being Rebranded (Like a Start-Up That Keeps Pivoting)

Despite the hot takes, Gen Z isn’t rejecting marriage completely—they’re just modifying it to fit their needs.

A Times survey found that nearly two-thirds of Gen Z still consider marriage important, which is roughly the same as millennials two decades ago (The Times, 2025).

But their approach is shifting.

They’re Not Rushing In (And When They Do, It’s Strategic)

• The average age of marriage is creeping higher—but there’s also a niche trend of Gen Z couples marrying young for practical reasons, not romantic ideals.

• These “startup unions” function like a business partnership, where both parties bring assets (education, emotional intelligence, long-term vision) and agree on the terms and conditions upfront (The New York Post, 2025). A far cry from the romanticized, love-conquers-all model of marriage.

Commitment Without Contracts (The Death of the Marriage License?)

For many Gen Z couples, commitment doesn’t require a government seal of approval. They live together, pool resources, plan for the future—all without the paperwork.

This shift is fueled by:

Sky-high divorce rates from previous generations.

A growing skepticism toward institutions in general.

The legal and financial minefield of ending a marriage.

Marriage as a legal structure feels optional. Commitment as a lifestyle? That’s still in.

So Why Is Gen Z Really Holding Off on Marriage? (It’s Not Just Because of TikTok Trends)

1. The Math Simply Doesn’t Add Up

Marriage used to be a wealth-building strategy—a way to combine incomes, split living costs, and build stability.

Now? Wages have stagnated. Housing is unaffordable. Student debt is crushing.

Marriage no longer looks like a step up—it looks like another liability.

2. Love Is Optional, Financial Stability Isn’t

When you can barely afford rent, a wedding sounds like financial suicide.

The average American wedding costs $30,000+, and many Gen Zers are saying, “Or, hear me out, what if we use that money to not be broke?”

Fact: Financial stress is one of the top predictors of divorce (Dew et al., 2012).

So instead of rushing into a high-risk emotional investment, Gen Z is stacking their financial assets first.

3. They’ve Seen Too Many Divorces to Be Optimistic

Gen Z grew up watching their parents’ marriages implode—sometimes spectacularly.

And even when they didn’t implode? Many saw unhappy marriages that were held together by social expectations, financial dependence, or sheer stubbornness.

Hard sell.

4. Mental Health Matters More Than ‘Making It Work’

Boomers and Gen X viewed marital struggle as a badge of honor.

Gen Z? Not so much.

They’ve grown up prioritizing therapy, self-care, and emotional intelligence, and they’re far less likely to accept “staying in a bad marriage for the sake of it.”

If it’s not emotionally fulfilling, financially stable, and mutually beneficial, it’s not worth the effort.

Final Thought: The Future of Marriage (and the Alternatives Gen Z Is Building Instead)

Marriage isn’t dead—but it is being replaced by something more flexible, more personal, and less legally binding.

Some possible futures:

• More couples opting for long-term partnerships without marriage.

• Marriages with pre-defined exit strategies (think: contracts that automatically renew or dissolve).

• A rise in financial cohabitation agreements instead of marriage licenses.

Gen Z isn’t anti-commitment. They’re just demanding a version of commitment that doesn’t feel like a trap.

Because in a world where happiness is the new success, why would you settle for a relationship model that doesn’t serve you?

Maybe, just maybe, the real revolution is realizing that love doesn’t need a contract to be real.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Dew, J., Britt, S., & Huston, S. (2012). Examining the relationship between financial issues and divorce. Family Relations, 61(4), 615-628.

Goldin, C. (2022). Career & Family: Women's Century-Long Journey toward Equity. Princeton University Press.

Morris, N. M., & Reiber, C. (2011). Frequency, intensity, and relations to attachment: Predictors of post-breakup distress. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28(1), 127-140.

The Times. (2025). Gen Z more pro-marriage than millennials and have less casual sex. The Times. Retrieved from https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/gen-z-marriage-survey-27s7n5297

The New York Post. (2025). Marriage ages are up—but these Gen Zers are bucking the trend with 'startup' unions. The New York Post. Retrieved from https://nypost.com/2025/01/10/lifestyle/marriage-ages-are-up-but-these-gen-zers-are-bucking-the-trend-with-startup-unions/