The 3 Personality Traits That Explain 80% of Your Lifetime Happiness: A Therapist’s Perspective on Lasting Joy

Thursday, October 17, 2024.

As a marriage and family therapist, I often hear clients say things like, “If only I had more money, I’d be happy,” or “If my job were less stressful, I could finally enjoy life.”

It’s a common belief that our happiness is determined by external circumstances like wealth, health, and career success.

But here’s the surprising truth: personality plays a much larger role in our long-term happiness than we might think.

In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that 80% of your lifetime happiness can be traced back to just three key personality traits: emotional stability, extraversion, and conscientiousness.

Personality: The Secret Key to Long-Term Happiness

While it’s tempting to believe that happiness depends on getting that promotion, losing a few pounds, or moving to a tropical paradise, research suggests that personality accounts for the vast majority of our life satisfaction.

This study, led by Dr. René Mõttus, delves into how much personality shapes our happiness over the course of a lifetime—and the findings are both eye-opening and comforting.

Dr. Mõttus and his team analyzed data from over 20,000 participants, comparing their self-reported personality traits with assessments from people who knew them well. In using this more reliable method, the researchers reduced errors found in previous studies, leading to the revelation that personality accounts for up to 80% of happiness—a figure almost double the previous estimate.

The 3 Key Personality Traits for Happiness

So, what are the personality traits that have such a profound impact on your lifetime happiness? According to the study, three traits stand out:

Emotional Stability: People who are emotionally stable tend to handle stress well and don’t get easily overwhelmed by life’s challenges. This inner resilience allows them to bounce back from adversity more quickly and keep a balanced perspective. Emotional stability also means being less prone to anxiety or mood swings, leading to a more consistent sense of well-being.

Extraversion: It’s no surprise that extraverted people, who are generally more social and outgoing, report higher levels of happiness. Extraverts thrive on social interaction, feel energized by being around others, and often seek out exciting experiences. Their tendency to engage with the world in a more open and enthusiastic way can lead to a greater sense of joy and fulfillment.

Conscientiousness: This trait reflects a person’s level of responsibility, organization, and work ethic. Conscientious individuals are more likely to set and achieve goals, which leads to a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Their ability to stay focused and disciplined helps them create structure in their lives, contributing to long-term happiness.

Dr. Mõttus explains:

“Broadly speaking, more satisfied people were more emotionally stable, extraverted, and conscientious. But more specifically, those satisfied with their life felt understood, excited, and decisive, while less satisfied people felt envious, bored, used, unable, and unrewarded.”

The Happiness Set-Point: Can It Be Changed?

The idea that personality drives happiness also leads to another important question: Can we change our happiness levels? Or are we stuck with a fixed “happiness set-point,” a baseline level of happiness that doesn’t shift much despite our circumstances?

Previous research has suggested that our happiness has a set-point, much like a thermostat in our homes. Life’s ups and downs—whether it’s getting a promotion or going through a breakup—can move the dial temporarily, but we tend to return to our baseline level of happiness over time.

The findings of this study reinforce that idea. Our personality traits are relatively stable over the course of our lives, shaped by both genetic factors and thousands of experiences that we accumulate over time. Because personality is such a strong predictor of happiness, it suggests that our general life satisfaction is not easily swayed by short-term events or external changes.

However, Dr. Mõttus and his team offer a glimmer of hope:

“This does not mean that experiences cannot have lasting influences on life satisfaction. But when experiences do matter, they have to shape people much more generally than simply making them more or less satisfied with life. This takes time and doesn’t happen too often.”

What Does This Mean for You?

If personality is such a strong driver of happiness, and if personality traits tend to be stable over time, does that mean we’re powerless to increase our happiness? Not at all! While personality plays a major role, there are still ways we can influence our life satisfaction—especially by focusing on the traits that foster happiness.

Here’s what you can do:

Develop Emotional Stability: While some people are naturally more resilient, emotional stability can be nurtured through practices like mindfulness, therapy, and stress management. Learning to stay calm under pressure and reframing negative experiences can help you maintain a more balanced outlook.

Practice Extraversion (Even If You’re an Introvert): You don’t need to become the life of the party, but making an effort to connect with others can boost your happiness. Studies have shown that even introverts can benefit from small doses of social interaction, so whether it’s catching up with a friend or joining a new group, engaging with others can increase your sense of well-being.

Build Conscientiousness: Setting and achieving goals, no matter how small, can give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Try breaking down larger goals into manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way. The more organized and focused you are, the more satisfied you’ll feel with your life.

Can We Spread These Happiness Factors Throughout Humanity?

Imagine a world where emotional stability, extraversion, and conscientiousness were nurtured in every person from an early age. If these three traits account for 80% of our lifetime happiness, then fostering them could revolutionize how we approach personal development, education, and even therapy.

As a marriage and family therapist, I often encourage parents to focus on these traits when raising children. Emotional regulation, social engagement, and a sense of responsibility can be cultivated through supportive relationships and positive reinforcement. Schools could also play a bigger role in teaching emotional intelligence, goal-setting, and interpersonal skills—traits that could set the stage for lifelong happiness.

In therapy, we work on these traits by helping clients manage their emotions, build social connections, and develop a sense of purpose. Even small changes in these areas can lead to significant improvements in life satisfaction over time.

Final Thoughts: Happiness Is More Than a Feeling

The key takeaway from this study is that happiness isn’t just about fleeting moments of pleasure—it’s about cultivating a personality that supports long-term well-being. While external factors like money, health, and life circumstances do play a role, it’s our core personality traits that ultimately determine how happy we are in the long run.

With a cultural focus on emotional stability, extraversion, and conscientiousness, we can not only increase our own happiness but also create environments—whether in families, schools, or communities—that promote lasting joy for everyone. So, while we can’t change everything about our lives, we can certainly shape the factors that matter most for our happiness.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Mõttus, R., et al. (2024). The Role of Personality Traits in Life Satisfaction: A Longitudinal Study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.