The 1 teen trait that bodes well for future relationship satisfaction…

Tuesday, September 12, 2023.

There is a trait your teen may be exhibiting right now that suggests that they may have success in their future intimate relationships

• Kiddos with robust and healthy friendships at 13-years-old enjoyed more relationship satisfaction with their romantic partners at 30-years-old, according to this study from 2019.

• The teen years is an important training time of rapid brain development. It’s also when success in maintaining friendships bodes well for future intimate relationships.

• Surprisingly, teenage romances have little to no influence on future relationship satisfaction.

Professor Joseph P. Allen, the study’s first author, and noted thought leader on human development said this:

“In spite of the emphasis teens put on adolescent romantic relationships, they turn out not to be the most important predictor of future romantic success.

Instead, it’s the skills learned in friendships with peers of the same gender — skills such as stability, assertiveness, intimacy, and social competence — that correspond most closely to the skills needed for success in adult romantic relationships.”

How the study was conducted

This was a fascinating longitudinal study. Researchers interviewed 165 teens at aged 13 and followed them through time until they reached the age of 30.

All the study subjects were surveyed about the quality of both their social and intimate relationships.

• Detailed interviews were conducted annually over the last three years of the study, as the study subjects were exiting their late 20s, they discussed their intimate lives with the researchers.

• The results revealed an intriguing behavioral connection. The humans who were more satisfied with their romantic relationships at the age of 30, had better friendships when they were 13..

• Having close friendships at ages 15 to 18 also was predictive of future relationship satisfaction.

Let’s clarify what we mean by these teen friendships

The researchers took pains to emphasize that teen romance is of little or no consequence. It is not the kind of friendship being discussed in this research.

In other words, for straight kids, it was successful (same-sex) friendships during the teen years that were correlated with a better higher degree of relationship satisfaction in adulthood, not success in teenage dating.

Ms Rachel K. Narr, study co-author, explained:

“Romantic relationships in adolescence are much more likely to be fleeting, and as such, they don’t appear to be the main way teens learn skills needed for the future.”

A possible explanation for these findings…

Other research has suggested the extroversion is conducive to satisfying relationship,. I wonder if this correlation is trait-based along those lines.

I thought it was particularly interesting that the early erotic fumbling of straight teens carries no life lesson forward into adulthood. It was the same-sex friendships that mattered

• These findings make sense to me. Friendship is one of those human pursuits in life that requires effort and upkeep to maintain. The ability to successfully handle friendships during your teen years can be an essential indicator of future marital success.

Be well, stay kind, and Godspeed.

RESEARCH:

Allen, J.P., Narr, R.K., Kansky, J. and Szwedo, D.E. (2020), Adolescent Peer Relationship Qualities as Predictors of Long-Term Romantic Life Satisfaction. Child Dev, 91: 327-340. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13193