How a simple script can help folks say “No” without feeling pressured
Thursday, June 20, 2024.
We all know how hard it can be to refuse requests—more than 75% of folks accept social invitations they'd rather avoid… just to keep the peace.
But what if there was a way to say "No" more comfortably? Good news: there is!
A study reveals that giving people specific scripts to refuse requests leads to more honest responses. This approach aims to minimize acquiescence driven by discomfort or guilt. As Ms. Rachel Schlund, the study’s first author, explains:
“Employees and organizations benefit when people agree to requests freely rather than feeling pressured or coerced, which can lead to resentment and backlash. However, requests are inherently difficult to refuse.”
Freedom Scripts: A New Approach
In previous studies, strategies like saying “I’ll think about it” or using self-affirmation were used to help people refuse requests. But these methods put the responsibility on the person being asked. Instead, Ms. Schlund and her team tested an intervention that shifts some of the burden of saying “no” off the target. She elaborates:
“We tested an intervention that requesters can use to solicit consent in ways that are experienced as less coercive, shifting some of the burden of saying ‘no’ off the target.”
The Study: Giving People the Words to Say “No”
The researchers conducted two studies with 535 participants who were asked to hand over their phones. Participants were given specific scripts to decline requests, such as: “I’d rather not” when asked to hand over their phones. For instance:
“Before we begin the study, can you please unlock your phone and hand it to me? I’ll just need to take your phone outside of the room for a moment to check for some things. If you’d like to refuse, please say the words, ‘I’d rather not.’ Refusing will not affect your payment or participation in the study.”
No Pressure Technique
The results were clear: providing people with explicit scripts to refuse was more effective in increasing their sense of freedom to decline invasive requests compared to merely informing them they could say “no.”
This approach enhances the ability to decline without feeling pressured or coerced. As Ms. Schlund notes:
“We hypothesized that one reason it is so hard for targets to say ‘no’ is that it is difficult to find the words to do so in the moment. For this reason, we tested an intervention in which requesters provided targets with an explicit script to refuse as part of their ask. This intervention—telling targets how to say ‘no’—was more effective at increasing targets’ feelings of freedom to say ‘no’ to an invasive request than simply telling targets they could say ‘no.'”
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Schlund, R., Sommers, R., & Bohns, V. K. (2024). Giving people the words to say no leads them to feel freer to say yes. Scientific Reports, 14(1), 576.
Bohns, V. K., & Flynn, F. J. (2016). Why didn’t you just ask? Underestimating the discomfort of help-seeking. Research in Organizational Behavior, 36, 57-86.
Bohns, V. K. (2016). (Mis)understanding our influence over others: A review of the underestimation-of-compliance effect. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 25(2),
