Sexual Satisfaction’s Surprising Glow-Up: How It Fuels Marital Happiness With Age

Tuesday, December 24, 2024.

Is there a secret ingredient to marital bliss that grows stronger as we age? A new study suggests there is, and it might surprise you.

Sexual satisfaction—often thought to fizzle out like a dying sparkler with time—appears, for some, to gain importance as they grow older.

So, if you’ve been worrying that your golden years will be all about prune juice and daytime TV, think again. This might be your moment to shine.

The Study That Had Us All Raising an Eyebrow

The study, published in Social Psychology, delves into the evolving relationship between sexual satisfaction and marital happiness.

Contrary to previous beliefs that the importance of sex diminishes over time, researchers Yoav Ganzach and Asya Pazy discovered that age, not the length of a marriage, plays the starring role in this love story.

Using data from the Midlife in the United States (Uber 24, 2024 MIDUS) study, Ganzach and Pazy analyzed responses from 1,472 women and 1,415 men, aged 25 to 74, who were either married or in long-term relationships.

Participants rated their sexual satisfaction (how enjoyable, fulfilling, and effortless their sexual experiences were) and their marital satisfaction (relationship quality, future outlook, and efforts to maintain the marriage) on a scale from 0 to 10.

The result? A striking trend emerged: sexual satisfaction becomes increasingly important to marital happiness as couples age. And no, it’s not just because retirees have more free time.

Age vs. Marital Duration: Who’s Driving the Bus?

Previously, researchers—including Lazar in a 2017 study—argued that sexual satisfaction’s influence on marital happiness grows with the length of a marriage.

However, I noticed that Lazar’s sample focused on religious Jewish women, which made the findings about as universally applicable as a kosher bacon recipe.

Ganzach wasn’t buying it. "The idea that sexual satisfaction’s importance increases simply with marital duration didn’t make sense to me as a general principle,"

To resolve hiss nagging doubts using a broader, more representative sample, Ganzach and Pazy aimed to bring clarity to this intriguing conversation. Their findings suggest that while marital duration matters somewhat for men, age is the true game-changer for both genders.

Why Does Sex Matter More With Age?

So, what’s going on here?

Here’s my take; aging has a funny way of shifting priorities. In our younger years, we’re often consumed with external pressures: career ambitions, child-rearing, or figuring out how to assemble IKEA furniture without filing for divorce. But as those distractions wane, the intimacy of a relationship takes center stage.

With age comes a deeper appreciation for the things that truly matter: emotional closeness, shared experiences, and—yes—physical connection.

Many couples report improved communication about their needs and desires over time, leading to more satisfying sexual experiences. (Turns out, practice really does make perfect.)

The Gender Divide: Women and Men, Mars and Venus (Still)

For women, the relationship between sexual satisfaction and marital happiness strengthens steadily with age.

Ganzach speculates this may reflect shifting societal expectations. As women grow older, they may feel freer to prioritize their own desires and intimacy without the guilt or stigma often placed on younger women.

Men’s experiences are a bit more complex.

While age increases the importance of sexual satisfaction, marital duration also plays a role.

Early in marriage, sexual satisfaction might carry more weight as a measure of success in the relationship.

Over time, however, factors like companionship, shared goals, and even just surviving the chaos of family life can take precedence. Unfortunately, some partners accrue resentments which are profoundly lethal to any notion of sexy time.

Religion and the Role of Beliefs

Religion also weaves its way into the story. Among less religious men, sexual satisfaction played a stronger role in marital happiness, while for more religious men, it had a smaller impact. Interestingly, this pattern wasn’t observed in women, hinting that cultural or personal beliefs about sexuality may affect men’s perceptions more strongly.

A Few Caveats (Because No Study Is Perfect)

Before you start booking your couples retreat with me, keep in mind that this study focused on middle-aged adults.

While the findings are promising, they may not apply to younger couples or those in very different cultural contexts. Additionally, the study didn’t dive into specifics like sexual frequency, so future research might illuminate even more fascinating details.

Why This Matters: Lessons for Couples

If you’re in a long-term relationship, this study offers hope—and perhaps even a roadmap.

Sexual satisfaction isn’t just about physical pleasure; it’s a powerful symbol of emotional intimacy and mutual effort.

As life quiets down and the distractions fade, couples who invest in maintaining this connection may find their relationships flourishing in ways they never expected.

So, whether you’re in your 30s, 50s, or beyond, consider this your nudge to prioritize communication, explore each other’s needs, and never stop investing in your intimacy. After all, the best is yet to come.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Ganzach, Y., & Pazy, A. (2024). Does the Importance of Sex to Marital Satisfaction Decrease or Increase With Time?: A Close Replication. Social Psychology.

Lazar, I. (2017). The Role of Sexual Satisfaction in Long-Term Marital Happiness. Journal of Relationship Studies, 34(2), 45-62.

Ryff, C. D., & Keyes, C. L. M. (1995). The structure of psychological well-being revisited. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(4), 719–727.