Sexism and Cheating: Why Even "Nice Guys" Might Stray

Monday, August 19, 2024.

A new study, recently published in The Journal of Sex Research, sheds light on the surprising connection between different forms of sexism and infidelity among men.

The research reveals that both hostile sexism—blatant negative attitudes towards women—and benevolent sexism—those seemingly well-intentioned but ultimately condescending views—are both strong predictors of cheating.

What's more, many women don't seem to realize that those charming "nice guys" who insist on holding doors and paying for everything might be just as likely to stray as the openly misogynistic types.

Cheating is, unfortunately, a common issue in relationships. Studies suggest that around 21% of men and 13% of women in the United States have admitted to cheating at some point.

The fallout from infidelity can be severe, often resulting in emotional pain, shattered trust, and sometimes even the end of the relationship.

While many factors like attachment issues, permissive attitudes towards sex, and general dissatisfaction with the relationship have been linked to infidelity, the role of sexist attitudes—both hostile and benevolent—hasn’t been thoroughly explored until now.

Hostile vs. Benevolent Sexism: Different Flavors, Same Result

So, what exactly are hostile and benevolent sexism? Hostile sexism is the kind that makes you cringe; it’s characterized by outright negativity towards women, with beliefs rooted in mistrust and a desire to keep men in control. Think of it as the "no girls allowed" mentality taken into adulthood, where women who step outside traditional roles are often met with resentment or outright hostility.

On the flip side, benevolent sexism is like the wolf in sheep's clothing. It’s all about portraying women as delicate flowers in need of protection and support from men. Sure, it might seem sweet, but it subtly reinforces the idea that women are weaker and should stick to their "natural" roles of nurturing and obeying. Benevolent sexists might come off as gallant knights, but their underlying beliefs can be just as harmful as those of their more openly sexist counterparts.

How The Study Was Conducted

To dig deeper into this issue, researchers surveyed 379 American men who had been in romantic relationships. Participants filled out a questionnaire designed to measure their levels of hostile and benevolent sexism using the Ambivalent Sexism Inventory—a tool that assesses these attitudes with alarming accuracy. The men were also asked about their intentions to cheat on their partners using a scale that included scenarios like, "How likely are you to cheat if you knew you wouldn't get caught?"

The results were eye-opening. Both types of sexism—hostile and benevolent—were strong predictors of infidelity. Men who scored high on these sexism scales were not only more likely to have cheated in the past, but they also showed a greater likelihood of cheating in the future. This study challenges the common belief that benevolent sexism is harmless; in fact, it may be just as dangerous as its hostile counterpart.

The Cultural Context: How We See Sexism Across the Globe

Culture plays a significant role in how sexist attitudes are perceived and how they influence behavior. In many Western countries, where gender equality has gained more ground, hostile sexism is usually frowned upon (at least in public).

However, benevolent sexism can still fly under the radar, often mistaken for traditional values or chivalry. In societies where old-school gender roles are still the norm, both forms of sexism might be more widely accepted and less likely to be challenged.

In cultures that hold on tightly to patriarchal values, men may feel more justified in holding power over women, believing that this dominance is their right. These men might see infidelity not as a betrayal, but as an exercise of their entitlement—whether they’re operating from a place of hostile control or benevolent "protection."

A Follow-Up Study: Adding Power Dynamics to the Mix

The researchers didn’t stop there.

They went on to replicate their findings with a larger group of 544 American heterosexual men and added another layer to the study—this time focusing on how much importance the men placed on power within their intimate relationships. They used an adapted version of the Sense of Power Scale to measure this, allowing them to explore whether the desire for power acted as a bridge between sexist attitudes and infidelity.

Once again, the results confirmed the original findings.

Both hostile and benevolent sexism were linked to a higher likelihood of cheating, and the desire for power in relationships emerged as a key factor. Men who valued power were more likely to cheat, reinforcing the idea that sexist attitudes, whether masked as chivalry or displayed openly, often serve as a justification for infidelity.

Women’s Perception: The Blind Spot with "Nice Guys"

The research didn’t just stop at examining men’s attitudes.

The team also wanted to know whether women could accurately gauge the infidelity risk associated with men who display hostile or benevolent sexism. To find out, they recruited 240 American women and introduced them to three fictional profiles of a man named Mark. In one scenario, Mark was described as a hostile sexist, in another as a benevolent sexist, and in the last, as a non-sexist nice guy.

The women had to rate how likely Mark was to cheat in each scenario.

Unsurprisingly, they saw the hostile sexist as a high-risk cheater. But when it came to the benevolent sexist, the women didn’t see much difference between him and the non-sexist guy. This suggests that many women might overlook the red flags associated with benevolent sexism, mistaking these men for committed and protective partners, when in reality, they might be just as likely to cheat.

This blind spot could be rooted in cultural norms that have long celebrated men who take on protective roles. In some cultures, this "protector" image is so ingrained that it overshadows the potential risks associated with these attitudes, leading women to underestimate the threat of infidelity from benevolently sexist men.

Final thoughts

This study highlights the complex and often surprising ways that sexist attitudes influence infidelity. Both hostile and benevolent sexism contribute to unfaithful behavior, challenging the notion that benevolent sexism is somehow less harmful.

The research also underscores how cultural differences shape our perceptions of these attitudes, making it all the more important to recognize and address these beliefs in relationships.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Huang, Q., Wang, X., & Teng, F. (2024). Both Hostile and Benevolent Sexism Predict Men’s Infidelity. The Journal of Sex Research.