Narcissism and infidelity
Friday, April 19, 2024.
Unlocking the Depths of Narcissism and Infidelity: A Comprehensive Exploration
Understanding the Narcissistic Personality
The Narcissistic Personality Inventory, developed by Raskin & Hall (1979, 1981), is a pivotal tool for therapists to assess clients' levels of narcissism.
This inventory helps differentiate between individuals with high and low narcissistic tendencies, even if they do not meet the criteria for a full-blown personality disorder.
Dispelling Misconceptions
Contrary to common belief, not all partners who engage in infidelity have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. While there is a correlation between infidelity and personality disorders, it is crucial to recognize that infidelity does not always indicate the presence of a personality disorder.
Evolving Perspectives on Narcissism
Historically, narcissists were viewed as individuals with low self-esteem who compensated by developing grandiose self-images. However, recent research, such as the work of Bushman & Baumeister (1998), suggests that narcissists actually possess high levels of self-esteem, which they fiercely defend when threatened. This remains an area of debate in social science.
The Concept of a Narcissistic Dimension
Josephs (2017) introduces the idea of a Narcissistic Dimension within all humans. This dimension represents a part of the psyche that can lead to behaviors like infidelity, particularly in men, due to the physiological effects of lust.
Entitlement and Infidelity
Narcissism and infidelity are closely linked to feelings of entitlement. Folks with narcissistic traits may perceive their infidelity as acceptable while holding their partners to different standards. Exline's (2004) research highlights that individuals with narcissistic entitlement are less forgiving of their partner's infidelity.
The Dark Triad: Machiavellianism, Psychopathy, and Narcissism
Psychologists have identified Machiavellian Intelligence, psychopathy, and narcissism as the Dark Triad, three distinct yet interconnected personality traits. Individuals high in these traits often exhibit opportunistic mating strategies, which can lead to infidelity and strategic behavior.
Implications for Therapy and Beyond
Therapists often find clients with high levels of narcissism challenging to work with due to their resistance to change and moral questioning. Despite negative stereotypes, individuals with narcissistic traits can display remarkable resilience and adaptive behaviors.
Attraction and Narcissism
Research by Haslam & Montrose (2015) suggests that women may be attracted to narcissistic men due to the resources and status they offer, despite the potential for lack of commitment and infidelity. Similarly, narcissistic humans are often drawn to partners who boost their ego and provide a sense of security.
Final thoughts
We are still learning about narcissism and intimate relationships, and sometimes respected researchers may be contradictory. While not all partners who engage in infidelity are narcissists, recognizing the role of narcissistic traits can provide valuable insights into the motivations behind infidelity and guide therapeutic interventions.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
Is your marriage struggling with infidelity?
RESEARCH:
Ariely, D., & Loewenstein, G. (2006). The Heat of the Moment: The Effect of Sexual Arousal on Sexual Decision Making. Journal of Behavioral Decision Making, 19, 87-98. http://dx.doi.org/10.1002/bdm.501
Bushman, B. J., & Baumeister, R. F. (1998). Threatened egotism, narcissism, self-esteem, and direct and displaced aggression: Does self-love or self-hate lead to violence? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(1), 219–229. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.75.1.219
Exline, J. J., Baumeister, R. F., Bushman, B. J., Campbell, W. K., & Finkel, E. J. (2004). Too Proud to Let Go: Narcissistic Entitlement as a Barrier to Forgiveness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87(6), 894–912. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.87.6.894
Grijalva, E., Newman, D. A., Tay, L., Donnellan, M. B., Harms, P. D., Robins, R. W., & Yan, T. (2015). Gender differences in narcissism: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 141(2), 261–310. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0038231
Haslam, C., & Montrose, V. T. (2015). Should have known better: The impact of mating experience and the desire for marriage upon attraction to the narcissistic personality. Personality and Individual Differences, 82, 188–192. Holtzman, N. S. (2011).
Paulhus, D. L., & Williams, K. M. (2002). The Dark Triad of personality: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Journal of Research in Personality, 36(6), 556–563. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0092-6566(02)00505-6
Raskin, R. N., & Hall, C. S. (1979). A narcissistic personality inventory. Psychological Reports, 45(2), 590. https://doi.org/10.2466/pr0.1979.45.2.590
Wright, A. G. C., Stepp, S. D., Scott, L. N., Hallquist, M. N., Beeney, J. E., Lazarus, S. A., & Pilkonis, P. A. (2017). The effect of pathological narcissism on interpersonal and affective processes in social interactions. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 126(7), 898–910. https://doi.org/10.1037/abn0000286
