Lovemaking While Pregnant: Will It Give Your Baby a Philosophy Degree? (Probably Not, But It Won’t Hurt Either)
Wednesday, June 18, 2025. This is for my new clients. See you at 5.
Pregnant people Google some truly wild stuff at 3 a.m.—including, “Can my baby feel it when we have sex?” and “Will frequent lovemaking while pregnant affect my baby’s brain?” These are the kinds of questions that belong to our most vulnerable and intimate selves—the ones that suddenly appear while brushing your teeth or halfway through watching The Great British Bake Off.
So let’s do this gently, but truthfully. In a world full of misinformation, medical shame, and grandma’s unsolicited advice, here’s the real story.
First, the Obvious: Your Baby Is Not Watching
No, your fetus is not taking notes, judging your technique, or getting traumatized by oxytocin-induced uterine contractions. The baby is floating in its own little spa, surrounded by amniotic fluid, buffered by a muscular uterus and a mucus plug that—contrary to its whimsical name—is very good at its job.
But what is happening in there during sex?
That’s where things get weird, wonderful, and, believe it or not, mostly beneficial.
Let’s Talk Hormones, Baby
Every time you have sex, especially if there’s an orgasm involved (good for you), your body releases a cocktail of happy chemicals: oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins, and other neurochemical glitter. These are not just feel-good substances; they’re part of a biological love letter to your nervous system—and by extension, your fetus’s developing one.
And the fetus? It doesn’t know what’s going on. But it feels the shift in maternal physiology—lowered stress hormones, improved blood flow, and a soothing, rhythmic pulsing from your elevated heart rate.
"Fetal heart rate changes during and after maternal orgasm have been observed, but are typically transient and benign in uncomplicated pregnancies" (Oktay et al., 2019).
Translation: Your baby isn’t judging you. It’s chillin’.
Frequent Lovemaking Doesn’t Harm Fetal Development—It Might Even Help
✅ In healthy pregnancies:
There is no evidence that frequent sex causes birth defects, developmental delays, or emotional trauma in the womb (von Sydow, 1999).
Sexual activity can lower maternal stress, and maternal stress is a much bigger villain in fetal development than anything involving candlelight and Marvin Gaye (Glover, 2014).
Couples who stay physically connected often experience better relational health, which translates into better co-regulation post-birth—a key predictor of infant well-being (Shapiro et al., 2000).
But Wait—What If I’m the exception?
There are absolutely times when sex is discouraged in pregnancy. If you’ve been diagnosed with:
Placenta previa
Incompetent cervix
Preterm labor risk
Active sexually transmitted infections
Unexplained vaginal bleeding
...your provider might put you on pelvic rest, which is a delightfully vague phrase that somehow means no sex, no orgasms, no problem-solving by candlelight.
"In cases with known obstetric risk factors, sexual activity may need to be modified or avoided to prevent complications such as preterm birth" (Serati et al., 2016).
This isn’t punishment. It’s precaution. And you’re still allowed to cuddle, laugh, make inappropriate jokes, and plan a triumphant return to the bedroom when medically cleared.
Fetuses Are Passive Participants in a Hormonal Theater
Think of your baby as a tiny backstage crew member. They don’t understand the play, but they feel the vibe.
When the maternal body is relaxed, connected, and safe, the uterine environment reflects that. Blood flow improves. Stress hormones decrease. Emotional tone matters.
"The maternal emotional state is transmitted biochemically and behaviorally to the fetus, influencing the child’s long-term stress reactivity" (Monk et al., 2012).
Which means: Your pleasure isn’t selfish.
It’s part of a neurochemical environment your baby learns to recognize.
You’re not just growing a spine and kidneys. You’re crafting the earliest messages of safety and regulation.
Trust the Oxytocin (Unless Medically Advised Not To)
Sex during pregnancy isn’t dangerous for most people—it’s biological jazz. Intimacy may ebb and flow.
Desire may mutate.
But if the act itself is consensual, respectful, and feels good to you, it’s a deeply human, deeply normal, and possibly even neurologically supportive thing to do.
You’re not harming your baby by having frequent sex.
You might, in fact, be helping everyone in the house sleep better—eventually.
So go ahead. Light the candles.
Leave the shame in the drawer. And remember that in a society that tries to turn pregnancy into pathology, pleasure is radical.
Be Well, Stay Calm, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Glover, V. (2014). Maternal depression, anxiety and stress during pregnancy and child outcome; What needs to be done. Best Practice & Research Clinical Obstetrics & Gynaecology, 28(1), 25–35. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bpobgyn.2013.08.017
Monk, C., Spicer, J., & Champagne, F. A. (2012). Linking prenatal maternal adversity to developmental outcomes in infants: The role of epigenetic pathways. Development and Psychopathology, 24(4), 1361–1376. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579412000764
Oktay, A. N., Hassa, H., Yalcin, O. T., & Ustun, Y. (2019). Orgasm during pregnancy: Its effect on pregnancy course. Journal of Maternal-Fetal & Neonatal Medicine, 32(9), 1523–1528. https://doi.org/10.1080/14767058.2017.1408064
Serati, M., Salvatore, S., Siesto, G., Cattoni, E., Zanirato, M., Khullar, V., ... & Bolis, P. (2016). Female sexual function during pregnancy and after childbirth. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 7(8), 2782–2790. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.01893.x
Shapiro, A. F., Gottman, J. M., & Carrère, S. (2000). The baby and the marriage: Identifying factors that buffer against decline in marital satisfaction after the first baby arrives. Journal of Family Psychology, 14(1), 59–70. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.14.1.59
von Sydow, K. (1999). Sexuality during pregnancy and after childbirth: A meta-content analysis of 59 studies. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 47(1), 27–49. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0022-3999(98)00106-8