Is Attachment Theory a Useful Lie?

Friday, May 10, 2024.

Heidi Keller's critique of Attachment Theory, as detailed in her 2022 book "The Myth of Attachment Theory," offers a scientifically sound contrarian analysis that delves deep into the cultural and contextual factors influencing attachment patterns.

In this post, I will explore a just a few concepts from Keller's book and their implications for the practice of couples therapy…

In "The Myth of Attachment Theory," Keller presents a groundbreaking perspective that challenges the universalist assumptions of traditional Attachment Theory.

She argues that attachment patterns are not solely determined by biological and evolutionary factors but are also profoundly shaped by the socio-cultural environment in which humans are raised.

Cultural Embeddedness of Attachment…

One of the central arguments in Keller's book is the idea that attachment is far more culturally embedded than we realize. She emphasizes how attachment is understood and nuances vary across cultures, reflecting each society's unique values, beliefs, and practices.

Critique of Western Bias

Keller critiques the Western bias inherent in traditional Attachment Theory, which tends to prioritize independence and autonomy.

She argues that this bias leads to a limited understanding of attachment dynamics, particularly in non-Western cultures where interdependence and collectivism are more deeply valued.

Concept of Attachment Networks

Keller introduces the notion of attachment networks, a key concept. She suggests that instead of focusing solely on the attachment between a child and their primary caregiver, we should consider the broader network of relationships contributing to a child's ultimate socialization and emotional development.

Implications for Couples Therapy

Keller's more “ecological” theory of attachment has significant implications for couples therapy. It raises the provocative idea of more deeply considering cultural factors in understanding and addressing attachment issues within couples… and perhaps privilege and prioritizing such understandings.

Therapists are used to being told how to be sensitive to the cultural context in which their clients' attachment patterns have developed. Still, Keller’s critique suggests that the notions of attachment universality, while poetic, fail under the rigor of scientific research.

Application in Couples Therapy

• In couples therapy, therapists can apply Keller's insights by exploring how cultural norms and values influence the attachment dynamics within the relationship more deeply and curiously.

• This might involve a deeper and longer dive into how each partner's cultural background shapes their expectations, communication styles, and conflict resolution strategies shape their very notions of intimacy itself. Is it possible that we’re just not culturally sensitive enough?

Final thoughts

Heidi Keller's "The Myth of Attachment Theory" offers a provocative anthropological perspective that enriches our understanding of attachment dynamics in couples therapy.

Keller’s thesis proclaims the cultural embeddedness of attachment. If she’s right, couples therapists should provide even more effective and culturally sensitive care to their clients, ultimately enhancing the therapeutic outcomes for couples. Keller’s work suggests that an anthopologically-informed model of attachment might be the next big idea in Attachment Theory.

Attachment is, ultimately, a relational model. Keller’s critique pulls from sound anthropological and psychological research and challenges notions of monolithic universality in human attachment. This is the ultimate “Your Mileage May Vary” meme.

Some of my colleagues might ask… why are these anthropologists peeing in our Cheerios?

We all love Attachment Theory… and that’s Keller’s point.

"The Myth of Attachment Theory" persuasively asserts that there are many hegemonic assumptions in the present iteration of Attachment Theory.

Keller argues that this Western Bias distorts the diagnosis of attachment insecurity, and early childhood intervention programs, educational non-profits, and international intervention programs have installed this bias as gospel.

In other words, we can think more deeply, and do better.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

RESEARCH:

Keller, H. (2007). Cultures of infancy. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers.

Keller, H. (2022). Myth of Attachment Theory. Routledge.