How the Brain Responds to Different Types of Love: Insights from a Marriage and Family Therapist

Saturday, October 5, 2024.

As a marriage and family therapist, I often help folks and families navigate the complexities of love in all its forms.

From romantic love to the deep connection with pets or nature, love isn't just a singular emotion—it’s a complex experience.

Recent research published in Cerebral Cortex has uncovered fascinating insights into how the brain processes these various types of love, and the findings could provide valuable insights for relationships of all kinds.

The Study: Different Loves, Different Brain Responses

Researchers at Aalto University in Finland used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to study the brain activity of 55 participants as they experienced love for romantic partners, children, friends, strangers, pets, and nature.

By examining the neural pathways activated by each type of love, the study highlights the complexity of love in our brain and how our connections can vary in intensity and emotional depth.

Universal Brain Patterns for Love

One of the most compelling takeaways from this study is that all types of love—whether for a partner, child, friend, or pet—activated shared brain regions involved in social cognition.

These areas, such as the medial prefrontal cortex and temporoparietal junction, help us understand others’ thoughts and emotions. This supports long-standing psychological theories that human beings are wired for emotional connection (Zeki, 2007).

But love goes beyond just understanding each other.

The intensity of brain activity varied, with romantic and parental love engaging the brain's reward systems much more strongly than love for friends, strangers, or even pets.

These reward systems include areas like the striatum and thalamus, which are associated with pleasure, motivation, and emotional reinforcement (Acevedo & Aron, 2009). This suggests that while love for friends and pets is important, the emotional charge of romantic and parental love often has a more profound impact on our neural circuits.

Pets: Our Furry Family Members

An exciting part of the study was how love for pets uniquely engages the brain.

For participants who were pet owners, brain regions related to empathy and social bonding were highly active when thinking about their animals. This mirrors the emotional response we have to our closest human relationships (McConnell et al., 2011).

As a therapist, I often see how pets provide comfort and companionship, even helping clients manage anxiety and depression.

The study confirms that these relationships are deeply meaningful and engage the brain’s emotional systems in much the same way human relationships do.

For those without pets, brain activity in these areas was less pronounced, suggesting that the love we feel for animals is deeply influenced by personal experience and attachment. This insight reinforces the therapeutic role pets can play in promoting mental health and well-being.

Nature: A Love of a Different Kind

Love for nature also activates the brain, but in a way that's distinct from interpersonal love.

The study found that while love for romantic partners and pets engages social cognition and reward pathways, love for nature taps into visual and spatial processing areas like the parahippocampal gyrus.

This indicates that our connection with the natural world might be more sensory and aesthetic, rather than rooted in emotional bonding (Bartels & Zeki, 2000).

Why This Matters for Relationships

As a couples therapist, understanding how the brain responds to different types of love is invaluable.

Relationships aren’t just about romantic love.

Building emotional connections with friends, pets, and even nature can help couples feel more balanced and supported. When couples feel disconnected, it’s not always a lack of romantic love causing the strain—it could be that other types of connection, like friendship or shared experiences in nature, are missing.

Research has shown that diverse emotional connections contribute to overall relationship satisfaction and emotional resilience (Acevedo et al., 2012). This underscores the importance of fostering not just romantic love, but also nurturing relationships with friends, pets, and the world around us.

Implications for Therapy and Well-Being

By recognizing that different types of love engage different neural pathways, we can tailor therapeutic interventions to better support emotional needs. If a couple is struggling with intimacy, for example, it might help to explore how strengthening bonds with friends or pets can provide emotional support, which could indirectly improve their romantic relationship.

Cross-Cultural Considerations

While the study provides significant insights into the brain’s response to love, it is important to consider how cultural differences may shape these findings.

Future studies could explore whether these brain activations remain consistent across different cultures. Some cultures may prioritize certain forms of love, such as love for nature or community, in ways that urbanized or individualistic cultures may not.

Love, in All Its Forms, Strengthens Us

This groundbreaking research confirms what many of us already know instinctively: love is multifaceted, and our brains respond differently depending on who or what we love.

Whether you’re nurturing your relationship with a partner, bonding with your pet, or simply enjoying the beauty of nature, these connections are vital to our emotional well-being. For couples, understanding these different forms of love can provide new ways to deepen your bond and enrich your emotional life.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

References

Acevedo, B. P., & Aron, A. (2009). Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 4(3), 393-400.

Acevedo, B. P., Aron, A., Fisher, H. E., & Brown, L. L. (2012). Neural correlates of marital satisfaction and well-being: Reward, empathy, and stress. Neuroimage, 61(4), 1087-1096.

Bartels, A., & Zeki, S. (2000). The neural basis of romantic love. Neuroreport, 11(17), 3829-3834.

McConnell, A. R., Brown, C. M., Shoda, T. M., Stayton, L. E., & Martin, C. E. (2011). Friends with benefits: On the positive consequences of pet ownership. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(6), 1239–1252.

Zeki, S. (2007). The neurobiology of love. FEBS Letters, 581(14), 2575-2579.

Rinne, P., Lahnakoski, J. M., Saarimäki, H., Tavast, M., Sams, M., & Henriksson, L. (2024). Six types of loves differentially recruit reward and social cognition brain areas. Cerebral Cortex.