The Power of Touch: How Supportive Gestures Can Boost Self-Esteem and Reduce Stress
Monday February 3, 2025.
When life throws challenges our way, support from friends and loved ones can make all the difference.
Whether it’s a kind word, a reassuring hug, or a simple pat on the back, these gestures help us navigate difficult moments.
A recent study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior explores the impact of supportive touch and verbal encouragement on self-esteem, self-efficacy, and emotional well-being.
Words of Comfort vs. A Hug: What Works Best?
In this experiment, participants watched a short video featuring two female students.
One, named Courtney, had just failed a midterm exam, and the other, Payton, offered support. The researchers created four versions of the video, varying two key factors:
Did Payton use supportive touch? (a hug or a pat on the back vs. no physical contact)
What kind of verbal support did Payton give? (emotion-focused vs. problem-solving)
The findings were striking. When Payton focused on Courtney’s emotions—acknowledging her distress and expressing care—the support was perceived as highly effective. These messages helped boost Courtney’s self-esteem and sense of self-efficacy while also easing her distress.
Interestingly, even when Payton’s support was problem-focused (“Maybe you should talk to your professor”), the addition of a hug or pat on the back made the advice feel more comforting rather than critical.
This suggests that supportive touch can soften the impact of direct suggestions, making them more reassuring and less like an impersonal fix.
Why Does Supportive Touch Matter?
We often think of support as something verbal—offering advice, sharing words of encouragement, or even just listening. But nonverbal communication plays an equally powerful role.
Supportive touch—such as a hug, a reassuring pat, or a gentle squeeze of the hand—can communicate warmth, trust, and solidarity.
Research suggests that these physical gestures help regulate stress responses, lower cortisol levels, and strengthen social bonds (Field, 2010).
This study aligns with previous research showing that people feel more validated when their emotions are acknowledged rather than when they’re immediately given solutions (Burleson & Goldsmith, 1998).
It also reinforces the idea that touch has unique social and emotional benefits—though context matters.
The Science of Support: What the Study Revealed
The study involved over 4oo (ok, 409 to be precise) students from a large Midwestern university, with an average age of 20. After watching one of the four video variations, participants rated the effectiveness of Payton’s support in helping Courtney:
Boost her self-esteem
Increase her sense of self-efficacy (belief in her ability to overcome challenges)
Reduce distress
The results showed that:
Emotion-focused support was the most effective at improving self-esteem, self-efficacy, and reducing distress.
Supportive touch enhanced problem-focused messages, making them feel more compassionate and less judgmental.
Touch did not significantly impact self-efficacy, possibly because participants were observers rather than active participants in the interaction.
This last point surprised researchers. Typically, self-efficacy—our confidence in our ability to achieve a goal—is influenced by positive social reinforcement. However, since participants weren’t personally involved in the conversation, they might not have felt the same internal boost.
The Bigger Picture: What This Means for Everyday Life
So, what can we take away from this study? If you want to support a loved one through a tough time, your words matter—but so does how you deliver them.
If someone is upset, focus on their emotions first. Simply acknowledging their feelings (“I can see how hard this is for you”) can be more validating than jumping straight to solutions.
If you need to offer practical advice, consider adding a gentle touch. A reassuring hug or pat on the back can make direct suggestions feel less abrupt and more encouraging.
Context is key. While touch can be comforting, not everyone is comfortable with it—especially in certain relationships or cultural settings. Being attuned to someone’s boundaries is just as important as offering support.
Future Research: What’s Next?
Lead researcher Dr. Samantha J. Shebib, now an assistant professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, sees this study as just the beginning.
She hopes to expand on these findings by examining other nonverbal behaviors and conducting experiments with people experiencing real-time self-esteem threats.
Her long-term goal?
Understanding how verbal and nonverbal cues work together to shape human connection.
This study reminds us that support isn’t just about what we say—it’s also about how we show up for each other.
Whether it’s through kind words, a warm embrace, or simply being present, small gestures of care can have a big impact.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Burleson, B. R., & Goldsmith, D. J. (1998). How the comforting process works: Alleviating emotional distress through conversationally induced reappraisals. Handbook of Communication and Emotion, 245-280.
Field, T. (2010). Touch for socioemotional and physical well-being: A review. Developmental Review, 30(4), 367-383.
Shebib, S. J., Boumis, J. K., Allard, A., Holmstrom, A. J., & Mason, A. J. (2024). An experimental investigation of supportive tactile communication during esteem support conversations. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior.