How Screens Could Be Sabotaging Children’s Emotional Growth: A Marriage and Family Therapist’s Perspective

Friday, August 9, 2024.

As a marriage and family therapist, I’ve seen how early experiences profoundly shape a child’s emotional and psychological development.

In our increasingly digital world, one of the most concerning trends is the use of screens as a tool for managing children’s emotions.

While it may be tempting to hand a child a tablet or smartphone to calm them during a tantrum, emerging research suggests that this practice could have serious long-term consequences for their emotional growth.

The Research: Screens as Emotional Pacifiers

Recent research has explored the impact of using digital devices to soothe children, revealing troubling patterns. A study led by Dr. Veronika Konok and her colleagues found that children who are frequently given digital devices to manage their emotions struggle more with emotional regulation as they grow older (Konok, Bunford, & Miklósi, 2024).

The study followed 265 children, assessing them first at 3.5 years old and then again at 4.5 years old. The findings were clear: children whose parents regularly used screens to soothe them were more likely to experience problems with anger management and emotional control one year later.

Dr. Konok emphasized the severity of these findings:

“Here we show that if parents regularly offer a digital device to their child to calm them or to stop a tantrum, the child won’t learn to regulate their emotions. This leads to more severe emotion-regulation problems, specifically, anger management problems, later in life” (Konok et al., 2024).

This insight is crucial for therapists working with families, as it underscores the importance of educating parents about the potential long-term impacts of their choices.

The Consequences of Digital Pacification

The convenience of using screens to manage tantrums is undeniable. Children are naturally drawn to digital content, and it’s easy for parents to see this as a quick fix. However, Professor Caroline Fitzpatrick, a co-author of the study, warns that while this strategy may be effective in the short term, it can undermine a child’s ability to manage emotions independently:

“We frequently see that parents use tablets or smartphones to divert the child’s attention when the child is upset. Children are fascinated by digital content, so this is an easy way to stop tantrums and it is very effective in the short term” (Konok et al., 2024).

However, digital distractions do not teach children how to process and manage their emotions. Instead, these devices can become crutches, preventing children from developing essential coping mechanisms. Dr. Konok further elaborates:

“Tantrums cannot be cured by digital devices. Children have to learn how to manage their negative emotions for themselves. They need the help of their parents during this learning process, not the help of a digital device” (Konok et al., 2024).

This point is critical for therapists, as it highlights the importance of guiding parents toward more constructive approaches that involve active engagement and emotional coaching.

Anger Management and the Escalation of Emotional Problems

The study also found that children who were more prone to anger were more likely to be given digital devices as a means of emotional regulation. However, this approach often exacerbates the problem. Dr. Konok highlights this concerning cycle:

“It’s not surprising that parents more frequently apply digital emotion regulation if their child has emotion regulation problems, but our results highlight that this strategy can lead to the escalation of a pre-existing issue” (Konok et al., 2024).

As therapists, it’s vital to recognize this dynamic and help parents break the cycle. By offering alternatives to digital pacification, we can support families in fostering healthier emotional development.

Alternative Strategies for Emotional Regulation

So, what can parents do instead of turning to screens? Dr. Jenny Radesky, a pediatrician and researcher at the University of Michigan, suggests several strategies that can help children learn to manage their emotions more effectively.

Dr. Radesky's work has consistently highlighted the risks of using screens to manage emotions, advocating for more hands-on approaches to parenting (Radesky, Schumacher, & Zuckerman, 2015).

Here are some practical strategies based on her research:

Sensory Techniques: Encourage children to channel their energy into sensory experiences they enjoy, such as swinging, jumping, hugging, or looking at a book. These activities can help them self-soothe in a healthy way.

Naming the Emotion: Teaching children to label their emotions is another powerful tool. By helping them understand and articulate their feelings, parents can provide a foundation for emotional literacy, which is essential for effective self-regulation.

These strategies align well with therapeutic approaches that emphasize the importance of emotional awareness and expression. For example, in attachment-based therapies, we often focus on helping children and their parents develop a language around emotions, which can significantly enhance their ability to navigate emotional challenges.

Expanding the Conversation: Additional Research Insights

The conversation about screen time and emotional development is part of a broader discussion about the impact of digital media on children’s mental health.

Research has consistently shown that excessive screen time is associated with a range of developmental issues.

For instance, a study by Hutton et al. (2020) found that children who spend more than one hour per day on screens are at greater risk for neurodevelopmental disorders, including ADHD and language delays.

Moreover, a study published in JAMA Pediatrics found that increased screen time in young children is associated with decreased brain white matter integrity, which is critical for the development of language, literacy, and cognitive skills (Hutton et al., 2020).

Moving Forward: Educating Parents and Practitioners

Given these insights, it’s crucial that we, as therapists, take an active role in educating parents about the potential risks associated with using screens as emotional pacifiers. Professor Fitzpatrick suggests that increasing awareness is a key step in preventing these issues:

“Based on our results, new training and counseling methods could be developed for parents. If people’s awareness about digital devices being inappropriate tools for curing tantrums increases, children’s mental health and well-being will profit” (Konok et al., 2024).

This perspective opens the door for developing new therapeutic interventions and educational programs aimed at helping parents cultivate healthier emotional regulation strategies for their children. By integrating these findings into our work, we can contribute to a generation of children who are better equipped to navigate the emotional challenges of life without relying on screens.

Final thoughts

While digital devices offer a convenient way to manage children’s tantrums, the research is clear: relying on screens for emotional regulation can have long-term negative consequences.

As marriage and family therapists, we have a responsibility to guide parents toward more effective strategies that promote emotional growth and resilience in their children. By fostering awareness and providing practical tools, we can help families build a healthier emotional foundation for the future.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

References

Hutton, J. S., Dudley, J., Horowitz-Kraus, T., DeWitt, T., & Holland, S. K. (2020). Associations between screen-based media use and brain white matter integrity in preschool-aged children. JAMA Pediatrics, 174(6), e193870. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapediatrics.2019.3870

Konok, V., Binet, M., Korom, Á., Pogány, Á., Miklósi, Á., & Fitzpatrick, C. (2024). Cure for tantrums? Longitudinal associations between parental digital emotion regulation and children's self-regulatory skills. Frontiers in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 3, 1276154. https://doi.org/10.3389/frcha.2024.1276154

Radesky, J. S., Schumacher, J., & Zuckerman, B. (2015). Mobile and interactive media use by young children: The good, the bad, and the unknown. Pediatrics, 135(1), 1-3. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2013-2315