Hard Launching the Situationship—A New Public Ritual of Ambiguous Commitment
Monday, April 14, 2025.
There was a time, not so long ago, when relationships moved from mystery to definition with the slow gravity of handwritten notes and long walks.
Today, your relationship status may be decided by a tagged Instagram post and how many mutuals watch your stories.
Welcome to the era of hard launching the situationship—a public performance of a private ambiguity.
What Is Hard Launching a Situationship?
A situationship is not-quite-a-relationship.
It’s the Schrödinger’s cat of romance: both alive and dead, until Instagram finds out.
There’s intimacy, consistency, maybe even toothbrushes—but no labels. Then one day, one party posts a photo with just enough PDA to signal semi-exclusivity.
That’s a hard launch. And it’s war.
Where Did This Come From?
Part performance, part power play, this trend thrives on social media’s peculiar alchemy: turning validation into currency. As Goffman, back in the day, (1959) described, social life is performative—and online, the stage is global.
When one party launches publicly, it forces the other into clarity. Or confrontation. Or flight.
Research by Fox and Warber (2014) showed that public declarations on social media correlate with higher perceived relationship commitment—but also with greater vulnerability to breakups when the perception of the relationship isn’t shared.
Why Now?
We live in a ghost economy of intimacy.
People want connection but fear rejection.
They crave visibility but avoid vulnerability.
The result? Half-formed bonds. Unspoken rules. And an ache for acknowledgment that social media can temporarily soothe.
The hard launch becomes a test: Will you claim me or will you vanish?
This is both incredibly human and terribly sad.
The Double Bind
Posting someone too early = clingy. Waiting too long = secretive. Opting out entirely = suspicious.
There’s no winning, only signaling.
And the launch isn’t just for your partner. It’s for your ex. Your friends.
Your lurking crushes. It’s the performative claiming of emotional territory.
But what happens when the image doesn’t match the intimacy?
Slatcher et al. (2013) found that partners who idealize each other online tend to experience more disappointment offline.
The curated self—filtered, edited, staged—collides with the unfiltered reality of morning breath and attachment wounding.
Does It Work?
Sometimes. Public rituals help humans make meaning, and display commitment.
That’s why we have weddings, coming-of-age ceremonies, and yes, Facebook anniversaries. I get it.
But in the absence of real commitment, the hard launch is a social gamble. It tries to make the private real by going public. Like a stock market IPO for your affection: high risk, high volatility.
And when it fails? It fails in screenshots.
What This Says About Us
We’re trying. That’s the heart of it.
Amidst dating app fatigue, economic precarity, and the erosion of traditional courtship, people are still reaching for something permanent.
Even if they do it with filters, ambiguity, and an algorithm watching.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Fox, J., & Warber, K. M. (2014). Romantic relationship development in the age of Facebook: An exploratory study of emerging adults' perceptions, motives, and behaviors. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 17(1), 3–7.
Goffman, E. (1959). The presentation of self in everyday life. Anchor Books.
Slatcher, R. B., Selcuk, E., & Ong, A. D. (2013). Perceived partner responsiveness predicts better sleep quality in couples. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 4(6), 675–684.