The Generational Gift of Empathy: How to Nurture It in Your Children…
Monday, April 29, 2024.
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, isn't just a skill; it's a family legacy.
A groundbreaking 2024 study has discovered that empathic behavior is passed down from mothers to their children …and even to their grandchildren.
Dr. Jessica Stern, the study's lead author, explains, "What we found was that mothers' empathy for their teens at age 13 predicted that teen's empathy for their friends across the adolescent years.
Then, that ability to show empathy toward your friends when you're a teenager predicts that you'll be a more supportive parent much later on in adulthood.
It involves an emotional part, which is the ability to resonate with what another person is experiencing. It also involves a cognitive part—so, understanding how somebody feels."
How the study was conducted
The study, which began with almost 200 teens, filmed each one asking their mother for help with a problem. From the mothers' reactions, researchers could measure their levels of empathy for their children.
Then, every year from age 13 to 19, the teens discussed problems with their closest friends, allowing researchers to observe how much empathy they showed. Decades later, these parenting behaviors were passed on to their own children.
Empathy, Dr. Stern believes, can be taught.
Even children who aren't naturally empathetic can learn. Critical research is needed here. What are we talking about? Neurodivergent? Personality disordered? As Mark Twain quipped, the right word is the existential difference between lightning and a lightning bug…
One method is to encourage teens to reflect on their own and others' emotions.
For example, helping a teen brainstorm ways to support a struggling peer can be invaluable.
Dr. Stern concludes, "The things we are looking for regarding empathy—emotional engagement, leaning forward in the conversation, nodding, showing interest in what the person is saying—are skills that can be nurtured and developed. Ultimately, the ability to empathize is a gift we can give to future generations."
Teaching empathy to children is not just about understanding emotions; it's about actively engaging with others in a meaningful way. Within framing the discussion through a neurodivergent lens, the implication of this research seems obvious.
Dr. Stern emphasizes the importance of emotional engagement, such as leaning forward in conversation, nodding, and showing genuine interest in what the other person is saying. These are skills that can be nurtured and developed over time.
They conform to neurotypical paradigms with behavioral specificity.
In other words, empathy can be concrete AF.
One effective strategy is to encourage teenagers to imagine themselves in someone else's shoes. By asking questions like "How would you feel if you were in their situation?" or "What do you think they are going through right now?" parents can help their children cultivate empathy and understanding. In other words, Cognitive Empathy…
Another approach is to provide guidance on how to offer support to others. For example, suggesting that a teen reach out to a friend who is struggling and offer a listening ear or a kind word can make a world of difference. By practicing these behaviors, teens can learn to empathize with others and develop strong, supportive relationships. Once again, intentional, Cognitive Empathy…
Final thoughts
Ultimately, empathy is a valuable skill that can benefit not only individuals but also society as a whole. By teaching children to understand and share the feelings of others, parents can help create a more compassionate and understanding world for future generations.
Freedom, morality, and the human dignity of the individual consists precisely in this: that he does good not because he is forced to do so, but because he freely conceives it… Mikhail Bakunin
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
RESEARCH:
This study is breaking research that will soon be published in the forthcoming journal Child Development (Stern et al., 2024).
