Can Conspiracy Theories Actually Strengthen a Relationship?

Wednesday, October 9, 2024.

Believe it or not, for some couples, conspiracy theories might act as relationship glue.

If both partners are nodding along to each other's claims about deep state plots or hidden alien bases, they’re not just on the same page—they're writing the whole conspiracy chapter together.

There’s a strange kind of intimacy in sharing a worldview that others find bizarre. You and your partner against the world, taking on the “deep state” and uncovering “the truth,” can create a bond that, according to the research, may even strengthen your relationship.

For couples in sync with their conspiracy theories, the perceived satisfaction doesn’t just stay stable—it might actually increase.

Why? Well, having a shared belief system, even if it’s fringe, creates a sense of unity and understanding. It's like joining an exclusive club where only the two of you have the membership cards.

But here’s the rub: if one person in the relationship starts straying from the conspiracy path, or worse, debunks the theories, it could be a dealbreaker.

The same shared belief system that once acted as relationship glue could become the wedge that drives you apart. After all, nothing says “we’ve grown apart” like realizing you can no longer bond over the idea that Elvis is alive and well on a secret government base.

Dating in the Age of Conspiracies: Swipe Left on Flat Earth?

The idea that conspiracy theories could make or break relationships doesn’t just apply to long-term couples. It extends into the dating world too.

If you’re navigating online dating apps in 2024, it’s not just photos and hobbies you’re judging anymore—it’s belief systems. Seeing “The moon landing was faked” on a dating profile might make you hit the brakes faster than you would for an out-of-date profile pic.

As the research showed in Study 4, when potential dates were shown profiles endorsing conspiracy theories, they overwhelmingly rated their predicted relationship satisfaction lower.

For those of us who aren’t diving into the world of secret cabals and mind control devices, conspiracy beliefs can feel like a red flag—a sign that something might be fundamentally off in how this person sees the world.

But for the conspiracy-curious, it’s a different story.

If you share those beliefs, you might actually be more intrigued by a profile that mentions “truth-seeking” or “deep-state cover-ups.” It’s a sign that this person gets you and sees the world in the same “wake-up-sheeple” way you do. The point? Your dating pool might shrink, but for the true believers, it’ll be a better fit.

Can We Talk About the Real Elephant in the Room? Trust.

Here’s the kicker: conspiracy theories aren’t just about “out-there” ideas—they're about trust.

Trust in people, institutions, and—most importantly—in your partner.

Study 3 dove into this issue headfirst, looking at how conspiracy beliefs erode trust between people. It’s not just that conspiracy theorists think the government is out to get them—they start to wonder if everyone is out to get them, including their nearest and dearest.

Imagine your partner believes the government is controlling our thoughts through 5G towers.

Now, imagine they start wondering if you’re somehow complicit in the cover-up. Suddenly, your relationship becomes a battleground for suspicion and doubt. The research found that when one person in a relationship endorses conspiracy theories, trust plummets.

And we all know that without trust, a relationship is on shaky ground.

How to Save Your Relationship from a Conspiracy Meltdown

So, what can you do if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who’s neck-deep in conspiracy theories, but you're more “team science”?

The first thing is to recognize that this isn’t just a difference of opinion. For the conspiracy believer, these ideas feel real—and challenging them could feel like challenging their very identity.

Start by asking questions, but not the “Are you serious?!” kind.

Instead, go for genuine curiosity. Ask why they believe what they do, and listen without judgment (as hard as that might be). You might not agree, but understanding their perspective could go a long way in preserving the relationship.

Next, find common ground elsewhere.

Maybe you’re not going to bond over your shared belief in Bigfoot, but you canfind other areas of connection. Shared activities, mutual friends, or even watching a TV show together could help remind both of you why you’re in the relationship in the first place.

And finally, if the conspiracy theories are starting to bleed into more dangerous territory—like extreme distrust, paranoia, or withdrawal from friends and family—it might be time to seek help. A good therapist (especially one well-versed in the effects of conspiracy beliefs) can help navigate the tricky waters of balancing personal beliefs with relationship health. I can help with that.

Conspiracies and the Future of Relationships

In the end, this research opens up a bigger conversation about how our personal beliefs shape our relationships.

Whether it’s politics, religion, or, yes, conspiracy theories, what we believe has a direct impact on how we connect (or disconnect) from those we care about.

In a world where misinformation is more rampant than ever, it’s important to recognize that belief systems—no matter how offbeat—play a crucial role in our social fabric.

So, if your partner starts raving about secret moon bases or reptilian overlords, don’t panic—just remember: it’s all about whether you’re in it together.

If you’re both conspiracy theorists, congratulations—you might just have found the secret to relationship satisfaction. But if you’re the lone skeptic in the room, it might be time to grab your metaphorical tinfoil hat and have a heart-to-heart about where this relationship is really headed.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Toribio-Flórez, D., Green, R., & Douglas, K. M. (2024). Belief in conspiracy theories and satisfaction in interpersonal relationships. Journal of Applied Social Psychology.