Building couples therapy momentum after your intensive…
Tuesday, April 16, 2024. I finally got myself a good labor lawyer today! For Shirley, and KAM…
"Revolutionizing Couples Therapy: Keeping the Spark Alive Post-Intensive"
About a decade before the world decided to throw us a curveball, I co-founded what is probably today the largest couples therapy practice in the USA…
Our science-driven assessment process required a significant commitment from our couples, which we discovered they were more than willing to make.
We were already shaking up the world of couples therapy in not one, but two groundbreaking ways.
First off, we championed the concept of a super inquisitive intake process, coupled with the idea that the path to successful couples therapy lies in embracing science over the constraints of the insurance model.
We asked over a thousand big questions during our intake process…
This blog gem, originally dispatched to all our Weekend Intensive alumni, remains a treasure trove of wisdom for any couple on the upswing:
Ah, Momentum! Why it’s the Glue That Holds Us Together Consider this your roadmap to maintaining that post-Intensive glow and keeping those positive vibes rolling after your Couples Therapy Intensive.
The key to riding that wave of momentum post-retreat lies in cementing those gains by weaving new patterns of interaction. The success of your Intensive often hangs on putting into action those tangible behavioral changes you both hashed out as dedicated partners in progress.
But let’s be real, maintaining momentum isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s about embracing the discomfort that comes with change, both individually and as a duo. Yet, fear not, for navigating this discomfort is your ticket to success.
Remember, Nobody's Perfect! Hitting the brakes on old habits is why you sought us out in the first place. Enter the villain of the piece: homeostasis.
Homeostasis, that sneaky tendency for systems to crave equilibrium, is the ultimate party pooper.
In layman’s terms: wanting to change is great, but your own pesky brain will initially resist, throwing a wrench in the works of even your best-laid plans.
I always tell my couples on the last day of our intensives, "You're gonna slip back into those old patterns. It's as predictable as the sunrise. But here's the kicker: the moment one of you says, 'We’re not playing that game anymore,' and your partner nods along, you've just given homeostasis the ol' one-two punch!"
Sure, hitting the reset button can be a tough gig at first. But fear not! Repair, rinse, repeat. Here are some authenticated golden nuggets to keep that momentum rolling once you're back in familiar territory.
11 Surefire Steps to Keep the Ball Rolling
Dive Deep into Emotional Chats: Skip the blame game and embrace open dialogue. Remember those nifty skills we drilled into you during your Intensive? Time to put 'em to work! And hey, feedback is your friend, so don't shy away from it.
Plot Your Relationship Course: Understanding what makes each other tick is key to sustaining that momentum. Set goals, but focus more on self-improvement than fixing your partner.
Embrace Feedback: Your partner’s insights can be your secret weapon. Flexibility is your friend in this game of change.
Accentuate the Positive: Don’t hold back on the praise. A little appreciation goes a long way!
Celebrate the Wins: Ever had a moment where you felt truly heard? Share it! Bonus points for acknowledging it then and there.
Stay Sunny-Side Up: Positivity is your greatest ally. Don't just notice the change; actively praise it!
Spread the Love: Generative conversations are where it's at. Set aside time to have meaningful exchanges with minimal interruptions.
Keep the Momentum Going: Stick to a routine of constructive chats. It’s the secret sauce to keeping the flame alive.
Set Goals Together: Use these chats to lay down concrete plans for the future.
Aim High: Visualize the partner you want to be, and then be it! Your actions speak louder than words, especially when times get tough.
Weather the Storm: When the going gets tough, stay true to your vision. It's easy to be kind when life's a breeze, but true character shines through in the storms.
Ready to make that change stick? Let’s do this!
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
It’s easy to be considerate and loving to your partner when the vistas are magnificent, the sun is shining and breezes are gentle.
But when it gets bone-chilling cold, you’re hungry and tired, and your partner is whining and sniveling about how you got them into this mess, that’s when you get tested.
Your leadership and your character get tested. You can join the finger pointing or become how you aspire to become. Dr. Pete Pearson.
