What is the science behind forgiving and forgeting?
Sunday, May 12, 2024.
Forgiveness, a seemingly simple concept, often carries profound implications, especially in the context of infidelity.
Mahatma Gandhi's words,"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong," resonate deeply, highlighting the strength and resilience required to forgive someone who has caused us immense pain.
Research by Dr. Saima Noreen underscores the transformative power of forgiveness, not just for the person forgiven but also for the forgiver. Studies show that forgiving others can have a positive impact on both physical and mental health.
It can be a liberating experience, enabling partners to release the burden of anger and resentment, and move forward with their lives.
However, the question remains: does forgiving truly lead to forgetting? Dr. Noreen's research delves into this intricate relationship. Participants in her study were presented with scenarios involving various wrongdoings.
They were then asked to consider whether they would forgive the transgressor. Interestingly, those who chose to forgive were more likely to forget the scenario when prompted to do so in a follow-up test.
Forgiving and forgetting…
This finding suggests that forgiveness may indeed facilitate forgetting, at least in the short term.
However, Dr. Noreen acknowledges that the relationship between forgiveness and forgetting is complex and may evolve over time.
It is possible that, with further neuroscience research, new therapeutic interventions combining forgiveness and forgetting may emerge, offering more effective ways for humans to heal and move forward from painful experiences.
Dr. Noreen explained:
“This research is only coming into fruition, and it’s likely that the relationship between forgiveness and forgetting is bi-directional and far more complex over longer periods of time.
We hope that, in time, new fields of enquiry may combine forgetting- and forgiveness-based interventions that might, in turn, give rise to powerful therapeutic tools that will enable people to “forgive and forget” more effectively.”
Here’s what we know so far. In other words, while forgiveness may not erase the memory of a betrayal, it can help soften the edges of the pain, allowing us to gradually let go of the past and embrace a more hopeful future.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
RESEARCH:
Noreen, S., Bierman, R. N., & MacLeod, M. D. (2014). Forgiving You Is Hard, but Forgetting Seems Easy. Psychological Science. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797614531602
