2 Books I recommend if your mother is an asshole…
Tuesday, January 16, 2024. I’m kind of overloaded with couples stressed by self-absorbed parents…, but this is for RB, RS, MT, EG, etc… LOL…
"Children of the Self-Absorbed" by Nina W. Brown and "Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" by Karyl McBride, Ph.D., are two impactful books that examine the intricate dynamics of families damaged by narcissism, specifically focusing on the experiences of children raised by self-absorbed or narcissistic parents.
"Children of the Self-Absorbed" by Nina W. Brown:
Nina W. Brown is a premier thought leader on NPD and a prolific author on the topic. She offers readers a comprehensive exploration of the effects of narcissistic parenting on adult children in her insightful and profoundly useful book, "Children of the Self-Absorbed," and the companion volume, “Children of the Aging Self-Absorbed.”
Brown draws upon psychological theories, research, and, perhaps most importantly, her direct clinical experience. I marvel at how she dissects the multifaceted impact of narcissistic parents on their offspring.
I’m seeing a tremendous amount of needless suffering and estrangement between adult children and their self-absorbed parents, and I’m also assured that there are many families with an opposite dynamic, but this post isn’t about them.
One strength of Brown's book lies in its detailed examination of narcissistic behaviors and their manifestations within parent-child relationships.
She skillfully identifies and categorizes various narcissistic traits, offering a nuanced understanding of the spectrum of self-absorption for your consideration.
Brown's writing is accessible, making psychological concepts understandable for a wide audience.
I have eagerly directed dozens of clients to the works of Nina Brown. She is a major thought leader on how Narcissistic Personality Disorder manifests on family systems.
The book guides the reader through the recognition of narcissistic patterns, the emotional toll on children, and strategies for coping and healing.
Brown emphasizes setting boundaries, developing self-awareness, and seeking therapeutic support.
This is what I love most about “Children of the Self-Absorbed”…It also contains practical exercises and case studies that enrich the narrative, providing readers with real, tangible tools for navigating the complexities of relationships with self-absorbed parents. I love interventions!
While "Children of the Self-Absorbed" primarily focuses on adult children, its insights can resonate with humans at various stages of life, contributing to a broader understanding of narcissistic dynamics within families.
"Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.
On the other hand, Karyl McBride's magnificent book, "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" centers specifically on daughters raised by narcissistic mothers, something Karyl has personal experience with.
McBride, another powerful thought leader on NPD, combines clinical expertise with empathy to guide readers through the healing journey.
She explores the emotional impact of growing up with a narcissistic mother, introducing the concept of the "Daughter Dance" to illustrate the intricate patterns of interaction.
One of her book's notable strengths is its integration of personal stories, psychological insights, and practical exercises, which enhance the book’s readability through a heartbreaking topic.
McBride creates a roadmap for daughters to recognize, understand, and ultimately heal from the wounds inflicted by narcissistic parenting.
The book's structure facilitates a step-by-step intervention, encouraging readers to reclaim their sense of self-worth and establish healthy boundaries.
McBride's emphasis on self-compassion and self-care aligns with the broader theme of empowering humans to break free from the toxic cycle of family-of-origin sh*t shows.
Karyl not only validates the experiences of daughters of narcissistic mothers, but she also fosters a sense of hope and resilience.
Final thoughts
Both of these books contribute significantly to the understanding of narcissistic dynamics within families.
While Brown's work offers a wider lens and a broader exploration of narcissistic parenting and its impact on adult children, McBride's book narrows its focus to the specific experiences of daughters with narcissistic mothers.
My clients have found value in exploring both books, as they complement each other by providing distinct perspectives on the broader implications of narcissistic behaviors.
Brown's book equips readers with a thorough understanding of narcissistic traits, while McBride's work offers a more targeted approach for daughters seeking healing.
It’s something I’ve noticed clinically, Men seem to be more stoically resilient dealing with narcissistic mothers, while many of my female clients are inordinately burdened with emotional stress and strain.
"Children of the Self-Absorbed" and "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" serve as splendid resources for navigating the complexities of relationships with narcissistic parents.
Whether you're looking for a comprehensive exploration of narcissistic behaviors with a parent, or more targeted help for an adult daughter with a narcissistic mother, these books offer insights, validation, and practical interventions for personal growth and transformation.
Be well. Stay kind, and Godspeed.
