Book Review: “Mothers and Others” by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

Sarah Blaffer Hrdy’s Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding is a beautifully written and deeply insightful exploration of the evolutionary forces that have shaped human empathy, cooperation, and social intelligence.

Hrdy, a distinguished anthropologist and primatologist, takes us on a journey through time, revealing how the unique challenges of raising our vulnerable, dependent infants have left an indelible mark on what it means to be human.

The Evolutionary Significance of Cooperative Breeding

One of the central themes of Hrdy’s book is the concept of "cooperative breeding." Hrdy argues that unlike most other primates, human beings evolved in a social environment where child-rearing was not the sole responsibility of the mother.

Parenting, instead, was a shared task, involving fathers, siblings, grandparents, and even unrelated members of the community. This system of cooperative breeding, Hrdy suggests, was essential for the survival and success of our species.

Human infants, unlike the offspring of other primates, are born particularly helpless and require years of care before they can function independently. This prolonged period of dependency created an evolutionary pressure that favored the development of a cooperative breeding system. By sharing the burden of childcare, our ancestors were able to have more children and increase their chances of survival.

Hrdy supports this argument with evidence from both anthropology and primatology. She draws comparisons between humans and other primates, particularly chimpanzees and bonobos, to highlight the uniqueness of human social structures.

While chimpanzee mothers are almost exclusively responsible for the care of their young, human mothers have always relied on the help of others. This reliance on a broader social network, Hrdy argues, laid the groundwork for the evolution of empathy, social intelligence, and complex social behaviors.

Empathy: The Emotional Glue of Human Societies

Hrdy’s exploration of empathy is one of the most compelling aspects of Mothers and Others. She argues that the need to understand and respond to the needs of helpless infants drove the evolution of empathy—our ability to sense and share the feelings of others.

This capacity for empathy, Hrdy suggests, was not just a byproduct of evolution but a crucial adaptation that enabled our ancestors to thrive in cooperative social groups.

Empathy, according to Hrdy, is the emotional glue that holds human societies together. It allows us to form deep emotional bonds, cooperate with others, and navigate the complexities of social life.

Hrdy illustrates this with research from developmental psychology, showing that even very young children are naturally attuned to the emotions of those around them.

For example, studies have shown that infants as young as a few months old can distinguish between happy and sad faces and will often cry in response to another baby’s distress—a clear indication of early empathy.

Hrdy also discusses how the evolution of empathy is linked to other uniquely human traits, such as morality and culture. Our ability to understand and care about the feelings and needs of others, Hrdy argues, is the foundation of moral behavior. It’s what enables us to cooperate, share resources, and build the complex social structures that characterize human societies.

The Importance of Allomothers

Another key concept in Hrdy’s book is that of "allomothers"—folks other than the biological mother who help care for the offspring. These can include fathers, grandparents, older siblings, or even unrelated individuals within the community. Hrdy argues that allomothers played a crucial role in the evolution of human social behavior.

In many traditional societies, Hrdy notes, allomothers are an integral part of the child-rearing process.

For example, among the Aka people of Central Africa, infants are passed around and cared for by multiple adults throughout the day. This communal approach to childcare not only helps to ensure the survival of the infant but also fosters strong social bonds within the community.

Hrdy suggests that the presence of allomothers may have been one of the driving forces behind the evolution of human social intelligence.

Infants who were cared for by multiple adults would have had to develop the ability to recognize and respond to the emotional cues of different caregivers. This, in turn, would have selected for greater social and cognitive skills—traits that are highly developed in humans today.

The Role of Fathers in Human Evolution

While Hrdy emphasizes the importance of allomothers, she also highlights the significant role that fathers have played in human evolution. In many species, males have little to no involvement in the care of their offspring.

However, in humans, fathers often play a central role in child-rearing.

Hrdy argues that the involvement of fathers in childcare is not just a cultural construct but has deep evolutionary roots.

She cites evidence from anthropology and cross-cultural studies showing that in many traditional societies, fathers are actively involved in the care and upbringing of their children. This involvement, Hrdy suggests, has had a profound impact on the evolution of human social behavior.

Fathers who invest time and resources in their offspring increase their children’s chances of survival and success.

This, in turn, would have created selective pressure for traits such as empathy, cooperation, and social intelligence in both fathers and their children. Hrdy’s discussion of the role of fathers in human evolution is a refreshing reminder of the importance of male involvement in parenting—a topic that is often overlooked in discussions of child development.

The Evolution of Social Intelligence

Hrdy also delves into how the demands of parenting—particularly the need to care for highly dependent infants—drove the evolution of social intelligence in humans.

Social intelligence, she explains, refers to the ability to understand and navigate complex social relationships. It includes skills such as empathy, communication, cooperation, and the ability to predict the behavior of others.

According to Hrdy, the need to care for infants who couldn’t communicate their needs verbally led to the development of sophisticated social cognition in humans.

Caregivers had to become adept at reading subtle cues—such as facial expressions, vocalizations, and body language—to determine what their infants needed. Over time, this ability to read and respond to the emotions and intentions of others became a key component of human social intelligence.

Hrdy links the evolution of social intelligence to other uniquely human traits, such as language and culture.

She argues that our ancestors’ ability to cooperate and communicate effectively would have given them a significant advantage in terms of survival and reproduction. This, in turn, would have driven the further development of social and cognitive skills, leading to the emergence of complex human societies.

Rethinking Modern Parenting: The Value of Community

One of the most thought-provoking aspects of Hrdy’s book is her critique of the modern nuclear family. She argues that the nuclear family, where the burden of child-rearing falls primarily on the mother and father, is a relatively recent development in human history. For most of our evolutionary past, children were raised in extended families or communities where multiple adults shared the responsibilities of parenting.

Hrdy suggests that the isolation of the nuclear family can place undue stress on parents and limit children’s opportunities for socialization. In contrast, communal child-rearing practices—where children are cared for by a variety of adults—provide a richer social environment and may be more in line with our evolutionary predispositions.

Hrdy’s call for a return to more community-based approaches to parenting is supported by research in child development. Studies have shown that children who are cared for by multiple caregivers tend to develop better social skills and are more adaptable. These findings suggest that the communal child-rearing practices of our ancestors may still offer valuable lessons for modern parents.

Cultural Evolution and the Future of Parenting

In the final sections of the book, Hrdy explores how cultural evolution has influenced human parenting practices and what this means for the future.

She argues that as societies have become more complex and industrialized, we have moved away from the communal child-rearing practices of our ancestors, often to the detriment of both parents and children.

Hrdy advocates for a return to more supportive communities where parents can share the responsibilities of child-rearing, much like our ancestors did. She suggests that modern families could benefit from reintroducing elements of cooperative breeding into their lives, not just for the sake of the children, but also to relieve the pressures on parents and caregivers.

Final thoughts

Sarah Blaffer Hrdy’s Mothers and Others is a deeply enriching and enlightening book that offers a fresh perspective on the evolution of human social behavior.

Hrdy’s exploration of how cooperative breeding, empathy, social intelligence, and communal child-rearing practices have shaped our species is both scientifically rigorous and deeply human.

Hrdy’s warm, accessible writing style makes complex evolutionary concepts easy to understand and relate to our own lives.

Her work is a gentle reminder of the importance of community, empathy, and shared responsibility in raising the next generation.

Whether you’re a parent, a caregiver, or simply curious about what makes us human, Mothers and Others is a book that will touch your heart and broaden your understanding of the deep connections that bind us all.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Hrdy, S. B. (2009). Mothers and others: The evolutionary origins of mutual understanding. Harvard University Press.

Hrdy, S. B. (2001). Mother nature: Maternal instincts and how they shape the human species. Ballantine Books.

Konner, M. (2010). The evolution of childhood: Relationships, emotion, mind. Harvard University Press.

Lancy, D. F. (2015). The anthropology of childhood: Cherubs, chattel, changelings (2nd ed.). Cambridge University Press.

Sear, R., & Coall, D. (2011). How much does family matter? Cooperative breeding and the demographic transition. Population and Development Review, 37(S1), 81-112.

Tomasello, M. (2016). A natural history of human morality. Harvard University Press.