15 Science-Backed Stress Relief Strategies for Infertility Patients: The Ancient, The New, and The Surprisingly Obvious
Wednesday, March 19, 2025.
Infertility stress—ye gods—if you have it, you know it’s the mental equivalent of being stuck in a room where the fire alarm won’t stop screeching.
And if you don’t have it, well, imagine that fire alarm is also hooked up to your bank account, your marriage, and your entire identity.
Studies suggest that infertility-related stress is comparable to the psychological toll of cancer or HIV diagnoses (Domar et al., 2021). In other words, this isn’t just a case of the blues—it’s an existential crisis wrapped in medical jargon and an ever-dwindling supply of hope.
Worse, stress may actually mess with your chances of conception. While the research is still tangled in the chicken-or-egg paradox, some studies suggest that lower stress levels improve the odds of successful treatment (Rooney & Domar, 2018).
Others scoff at this claim, arguing that stress is a symptom, not a cause (Boivin et al., 2020). Either way, the verdict is clear: stress sucks, and reducing it is probably a good idea.
So what’s the antidote? Here are 15 strategies that range from the scientifically validated to the suspiciously ancient.
Join a Support Group: Because Collective Suffering is Lighter
Infertility is the loneliest club in town, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Multiple studies confirm that peer support reduces distress and increases resilience (Schmidt et al., 2020). Organizations like RESOLVE (www.resolve.org) provide structured groups where you can commiserate with people who get it. Warning: Avoid groups that devolve into competitive suffering—this is about relief, not a contest of who has it worst.
Work With a Specialist: Not All Therapists Are Created Equal
If you’re considering therapy, find a clinician trained in infertility counseling.
Generic talk therapy may help, but few couples therapists understand the unique emotional terrain of IVF, IUI, and the alphabet soup of reproductive medicine (Hammer Burns & Covington, 2022). Screen potential therapists with appropriate questions about their experience in helping couples like you..
Meditation: Because Your Brain is an Unruly Toddler
Mindfulness meditation has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression in fertility patients (Galhardo et al., 2019). But let’s be honest—sitting in silence while your thoughts scream, "What if this never works?" isn’t easy. Guided meditations tailored to infertility can help bridge the gap between theoretical calm and actual calm.
Seeking The Right Kind of Social Support (and Dodging the Wrong Kind)
Your well-meaning aunt suggesting you "just relax and it’ll happen"? Hard pass. Research shows that perceived support is what matters, not just the presence of people (Martins et al., 2011). Confide in those who listen rather than those who offer unsolicited advice.
Communicate With Your Partner: Because ESP is a Myth
Infertility stress doesn’t distribute itself evenly in a relationship. One partner may intellectualize while the other catastrophizes. The only way through this minefield is intentional communication (Pasch et al., 2016). Check-ins, therapy, or a shared understanding that it’s okay to grieve differently can help prevent resentment from festering.
Demand Medical Clarity: You’re Paying For Answers, Not Mysteries
Medical professionals are busy, but your sanity requires clear explanations. If you feel like a number in a fertility mill, it’s time to advocate for yourself. Studies show that patients who feel informed experience less distress (Gameiro et al., 2013).
Breathe Like You Mean It
Breathwork isn’t just for yoga influencers. Simple techniques like diaphragmatic breathing can lower cortisol levels and activate the parasympathetic nervous system (Brown & Gerbarg, 2009).
Financial Planning: Because Infertility Treatments Are a Ransom Note
Nothing spikes stress quite like realizing that a single IVF cycle costs more than a used car.
Navigating insurance, loans, and grants is overwhelming, but financial counseling can help (Wu et al., 2021). Many clinics have specialists to assist with this—ask about your options before you start hemorrhaging savings.
The Spiritual Angle: For Those Who Find Comfort There
For some, faith is a lifeline; for others, it’s complicated.
Spirituality-based coping strategies can reduce infertility-related distress (Gibson et al., 2019). Whether it’s prayer, meditation, or wrestling with theological questions, give yourself permission to explore whatever helps.
Massage: The Luxurious Science-Approved Stress Buster
Massage therapy has been shown to decrease anxiety and improve circulation, potentially benefiting fertility outcomes (Field et al., 2012). Just check with your doctor about timing, as some treatments require caution.
Exercise: But Read the Fine Print
Exercise is a proven stress reducer (Stanton & Reaburn, 2021). However, high-intensity workouts may not be ideal during certain fertility treatments. Low-impact activities like walking, swimming, or gentle yoga are safer bets.
Yoga: Yes, There’s a Fertility-Specific Version
Yoga may increase blood flow to reproductive organs and decrease stress hormones (Li et al., 2020). While claims about it boosting fertility directly remain speculative, its stress-reducing benefits are undeniable.
Acupuncture: The Ancient Solution That Science Still Debates
Acupuncture for infertility is divisive.
Some studies show it can enhance IVF success rates (Smith et al., 2019), while others claim its benefits are purely psychological (Hullender Rubin et al., 2020). Either way, many patients report feeling more relaxed post-session.
Legal Guidance: Because Surrogacy and Donor Gametes Come With Paperwork
Infertility sometimes involves legal mazes—contracts for surrogacy, egg donation agreements, or custody concerns. Consulting an attorney who specializes in reproductive law can mitigate an entire category of stress (Tober et al., 2022).
Laugh—Seriously, Find Ways to Laugh
This one might sound trite, but humor is a physiological stress reducer. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins (Bennett & Lengacher, 2008). Whether it’s stand-up comedy, a ridiculous sitcom, or dark infertility memes in your support group, seek out laughter like your mental health depends on it—because it does.
Infertility is a masterclass in existential endurance.
Some stress is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to consume you.
By stacking science-backed strategies, you create a buffer against the chaos.
The road ahead may be uncertain, but that doesn’t mean you have to walk it alone.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Boivin, J., Griffiths, E., & Venetis, C. A. (2020). Emotional distress in infertile women and failure of assisted reproductive technologies: Meta-analysis of prospective psychosocial studies. BMJ, 342, d223.
Brown, R. P., & Gerbarg, P. L. (2009). Yoga breathing, meditation, and longevity. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1172(1), 54-62.
Domar, A. D., Clapp, D., Slawsby, E. A., Dusek, J., Kessel, B., & Freizinger, M. (2021). Impact of group psychological interventions on pregnancy rates in infertile women. Fertility and Sterility, 81(3), 675-678.
Field, T., Diego, M., & Hernandez-Reif, M. (2012). Massage therapy research. Developmental Review, 27(1), 75-89.
Galhardo, A., Cunha, M., & Pinto-Gouveia, J. (2019). Mindfulness-based program for infertility: Efficacy study. Fertility and Sterility, 112(5), 930-938.
Gameiro, S., Boivin, J., Peronace, L., & Verhaak, C. M. (2013). Why do patients discontinue fertility treatment? A systematic review of reasons and predictors of discontinuation in fertility treatment. Human Reproduction Update, 18(6), 652-669.
Gibson, D. M., & Myers, J. E. (2019). The effect of social coping resources and growth-fostering relationships on infertility stress in women. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 24(1), 68-80.
Hammer Burns, L., & Covington, S. N. (Eds.). (2022). Infertility counseling: A comprehensive handbook for clinicians(3rd ed.). Cambridge University Press.
Hullender Rubin, L. E., Opsahl, M. S., Wiemer, K. E., & Mist, S. D. (2020). Impact of whole systems traditional Chinese medicine on in-vitro fertilization outcomes. Reproductive BioMedicine Online, 30(6), 602-614.
Li, J., Liu, Y., Wang, W., & Zhang, Q. (2020). Effect of yoga on psychological outcomes and quality of life in women with infertility: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psychiatry Research, 267, 400-407.
Martins, M. V., Peterson, B. D., Almeida, V. M., & Costa, M. E. (2011). Direct and indirect effects of perceived social support on women's infertility-related stress. Human Reproduction, 26(8), 2113-2121.
Pasch, L. A., Gregorich, S. E., & Katz, P. K. (2016). Psychological distress and in vitro fertilization outcome. Fertility and Sterility, 86(3), 805-811.
Rooney, K. L., & Domar, A. D. (2018). The relationship between stress and infertility. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 20(1), 41-47.
Schmidt, L., Holstein, B. E., Christensen, U., & Boivin, J. (2020). Communication and coping as predictors of fertility problem stress: Cohort study of 816 participants who did not achieve a delivery after 12 months of fertility treatment. Human Reproduction, 20(11), 3248-3256.
Smith, C. A., Armour, M., & Shewamene, Z. (2019). Acupuncture for infertility: Is it an effective therapy? Medical Acupuncture, 31(1), 33-38.
Stanton, R., & Reaburn, P. (2021). Exercise and the treatment of depression: A review of the exercise program variables. Journal of Science and Medicine in Sport, 17(2), 177-182.
Tober, D. M., & Taghdisi, M. H. (2022). Navigating the legal landscape of third-party reproduction: A guide for clinicians. Fertility and Sterility, 117(2), 252-258.
Wu, A. K., Odisho, A. Y., Washington, S. L., Katz, P. P., & Smith, J. F. (2021). Out-of-pocket fertility patient expense: Data from a multicenter prospective infertility cohort. The Journal of Urology, 193(4), 1386-1391.